Today is day 101…alcohol was my go to for everything…sad, happy, angry, hungry, bored, tired.
I miss it. I know I can’t go backwards but I don’t know how to step forward.
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You have stepped forward! 101 days is a long time … I am sure you’ve felt most of those same emotions in that time frame and you’ve dealt with them in a healthy sober way. It’s not easy but you are doing it.
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Why do you feel stuck now at 101 days?
101 is a big number, and no matter the path to it, one to be proud of. Keep showing me the way!
What an accomplishment! Congrats! I think everyone has that feeling at times. Stay strong you’re an inspiration to many. Day 45 here
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I completely understand this feeling at just a few days more than you… Someone I used to know described it this way: “the world feels nice and small in the fog, easy to deal with. only one kind of pain and one set of rules to deal with it.”
As the fog is lifting, i am greeted with the fact that the world is no longer small and it is no longer simple. Feelings hurt all sorts of ways. Joy and hope seem like abstract concepts that I will never understand.
I just don’t know how to deal with life without the fog. The fog, however, couldn’t protect me from the consequences of my “solution” that I never saw coming. I know I cannot go back into the fog… I know that I will not make it out alive.
So I have to take that next step forward on faith.
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Thank you all for your replies. I’m in a weird place where I’ve got some distance from my last drinking disaster and I find myself now romanticizing the drink. I KNOW all the disasters that come with it…I turn into psycho bitch mode tearing apart everything and everyone in my path when I’m actually a pretty passive person when sober lol.
It’s just that alcohol is everywhere I look from airports to restaurants. All the moms from school get together weekly for a GNO which is basically just an excuse for everyone to drink. I’ve either just skipped it or gone with everyone asking relentlessly about why I’m not partaking. It’s just not fun and I slowly feel like my friends are slipping away from me. learning to live life without alcohol is one thing but actually having fun while doing it a whole different thing
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i was the same in the early stages of soberiety i went to the gym made new friend and most didnt drink had nights out at bowling ,movies . i also was going to AA meetings and they had dances and discos shows how long ago that was lol there is life after drink wish you well
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Read this and then the daily reflection…which is below…Funny how things work, eh?
Daily Reflections
January 18
WOULD A DRINK HELP?
By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23
When I was still drinking, I couldn’t respond to any of life’s situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking — or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery.
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