I’m officially at 105 days alcohol free. I still cannot be social on weekends without feeling so completely out of place. I avoid any gatherings or hang outs with family like I used to. I feel so awkward. I just feel like I am the most boring person. Today was the hardest it’s been in my journey. Especially with the nice weather. I feel like I should have a new normal now, can it take even longer than 100 days to recalibrate?
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Glad you’re here! This is a great place to find resources and support to combat addiction and help learn to live sober! Congrats on your 105 days alcohol free!
I also really struggled with socializing when I initially got sober. Even with over a year of sobriety from alcohol I still struggle with social interactions. But I will say that it gets more manageable with time!
I’m going to include a link below to a page about the timeline of what your body experience. It’s not specifically about social anxiety, but I found it to be pretty helpful!
For more anxiety based info and tips I’ve included this second link below! All the tips seem really great, except tip 3 “try non-alcoholic drinks”. That is one I would definitely be cautious with in early recovery. There are plenty of threads here on TS that discuss non-alcoholic drinks if it’s something you feel like would be worth looking into!
Like I said before, I’m glad you’re here, and that you are asking questions! There are a lot of people here who are willing to listen and share their experiences so please don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support! 
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Absolutely it can take longer than 105 days. Totally normal. And congrats on your 105 days BTW!!! Nice!!
It took me quite a while to settle in to the new sober me, especially in certain social situations. I felt more myself in one on one situations…rather than in groups…and I felt especially ‘off’ in party situations. For me, it was much easier and feot comfortable taking a walk with a friend or going out for a coffee or yoga class or breakfast or bike ride.
Everyone is different of course. That was just my experience.
I think giving yourself some grace and compassion and maybe look at new ways of engaging/spending time with family and friends. Try not to be too hard on yourself…real lasting change takes time.
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Welcome and congratulations on your sober time.
For me, there are a few strands in getting sober and being sociable. First, it is a skill, and if someone always got drunk in social situations then they didn’t get a chance to practise, so it will take time. Next, I understand feeling boring, but a while ago I decided boring was better than dickhead, and actually now I am sober I do more things in my free time, and can remember conversations so I can think of topics to ask about.
But also you might realise, like I did, that actually I am not that social, and like Sassy prefer smaller gatherings to big events. And that is fine. Getting sober is not just about stopping drinking, it is learning who you are without your crutch. Keeping going learning about yourself and developing as a person.
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It definitely took me more than 100 days to recalibrate. That first year of firsts was a big learning curve. Be kind to yourself and protect your sobriety!
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Great question Graybird. It does take time, look up post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS). Alot of neuronal switches and levers are gummed up.
I think about it like this: if I could be interesting and unboring when I was drinking, I should have that capability without it. It is simply a truth serum, in vino veritas, that with practice can be emulated without imbibing. Lubing up those stubborn nerve endings to behave in a more reliable fashion takes many forms. But the more honest I can become with myself and anyone who cares to listen, the better access I have to the fun/creative mind. Also I find being around others who are familiar with this practice, like AA meetings, is a productive activity. Go socialize a bit with a recovery group, or have you tried that?
Welcome to TS, glad you found us!
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Oh the pressure we put on ourselves… your already doing something incredible for your yourself staying sober and while its incredible its also incredibly difficult at times so why make it harder by adding extra pressure to do things that make it harder? Thats my take
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You’ve received some great advice already so here’s a question to think about;
Have you ever noticed how boring drunk people are?
I felt exactly the same as you but I’ve come to realise that sober me is way more interesting than drunk me ever was. I still don’t LOVE socialising like I used to, but then part of what I loved was socially acceptable access to alcohol…
Stick around with us here… it gets better
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Maybe try a meeting meet new like minded friends you can hang out with wish you well
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Hi, congrats on 3+ months…I was really challenged in early sobriety…I really started to roll when I got past that first year…
I stopped drinking and that way of life. Full stop.
I don’t go or do anything I used too…I really made 100% change and don’t have awkward feelings.
People, places…change was made and I feel good about it.
I could go on at length, but the jist of it is making change… New activities, places to go, new friends…
Commit and embrace change.
Be well friend
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Did you learn to fluently write and read in 100 days? No? Then ask yourself why you expect a massive life change to be settled and digested in 100 days.
Alcohol, the social lubricant.
Most of us have seen alcohol and socializing to go hand in hand from childhood on.
Nothing changes when you don’t drink. You are the same person. Just without masking whatever flaw or anxiety. Bonus: You see people how they really are, because your perception is not alcohol-blurred.
You are not used to this kind of being present, it takes skills, routine and a certain level of confidence in your recovery to start feeling it as the new normal.
Up your recovery work, put some sober social tools into your toolbox and don’t worry what others think. Mostly they don’t think about you at all. Have fun, enjoy what you like, engage where you feel comfortable and respect your limits. They change with time.
Keep going 
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