As the title suggests, I’ve made it to 11 months sober and as much as I am reaping the health benefits, I find myself feeling quite down.
Ive really began to hate socialising where the alcohol is free flowing, not because I’m tempted, but I hate being around it now.
My husband likes to drink alcohol and I find myself getting annoyed if he gets tipsy. He is well within his rights to do so and I feel awful at becoming angry about it, I must seem like such a b***h!
I hope this is just a stage and the pink cloud of sobriety might reappear!
I really dont want to drink again, I just feel lonely at times as alcohol seems to be the centre of all social events.
I turn down invitations as I cant tolerate being around drunk people. Its ironic as I was way worse than my friends previously!
@costalot80 11 months is a big achievement. I understand it might be hard considering this is someone you love and you don’t[quote=“costalot80, post:1, topic:173683, full:true”]
As the title suggests, I’ve made it to 11 months sober and as much as I am reaping the health benefits, I find myself feeling quite down.
Ive really began to hate socialising where the alcohol is free flowing, not because I’m tempted, but I hate being around it now.
My husband likes to drink alcohol and I find myself getting annoyed if he gets tipsy. He is well within his rights to do so and I feel awful at becoming angry about it, I must seem like such a b***h!
I hope this is just a stage and the pink cloud of sobriety might reappear!
I really dont want to drink again, I just feel lonely at times as alcohol seems to be the centre of all social events.
I turn down invitations as I cant tolerate being around drunk people. Its ironic as I was way worse than my friends previously!
Thanks for reading.
[/quote]
want want to get mad at them but it happens. With time you’ll build that mental muscle to just assume it. Congratulations though on 11 months. For me I’ve been to 3 rehabs and i here I am starting again the sobriety journey but I have a great feeling this time. All the best though, all shall be well
Trust me as someone who’s been on a relapse the last couple weeks and has relapsed several times while having some good time of sobriety. Yeah it feels lonely and yeah that drink or drug seems so good. But you I promise the loneliness you feel now won’t compare to when you pick up. Stay focused and keep pushing, you’re doing amazing
Being around drunk people is an experience alright. If everyone is getting too sloppy I just head home. I’ll have had my fun, just getting to see people. Just showing up is important from a social standpoint, assuming that it’s not triggering for the sober person in question. You don’t need to stick around until the ugly end.
Regarding your husband, that is a little more difficult. When I gave up alcohol my husband almost completely stopped too, but if he did have a drink it would be much less. I wonder would a conversation with your husband help? In your shoes I’d tell him you would never begrudge him a few drinks, but he’s hard to connect with if he’s very drunk. Be reassuring it’s not a judgement at all. He may decide to drink a bit lighter under his own steam. I can’t speak for your husband, but I know mine would respond well to that.
You’re only a stone’s throw away from a year sober! Well done you. You should be really proud of yourself
I can understand that feeling of annoyance. I’m a little over 14 months sober. Social situations can be a full of wtf moments. Hell, they were when i was drinking. I can say now i attend parties with my own kombucha or sparkling water drink. Its served me well. At bars, i get a Coke or Non alcoholic beer and no one even pays attention. Honestly, i don’t give af if they do! The tough part would be a significant other getting lit in front of you. I haven’t crossed that bridge as I’m divorced and single. My advantage is being able to leave any situation when i choose. My suggestion would be to try and frame the situations positively for yourself. Be proud of yourself and know you’re wits and intelligence are fully intact along with your sense of humor without alcohol. I can say having fun is possible out with friends or family! Lastly, you will not have to deal with the hangovers or hangxiety from questionable comments or actions! Stay strong for yourself!
The disturbance your feeling is you! Perhaps, you want to change your husband? Is he an alcoholic, or you being selfish and holding resentments? Of course, I don’t know any of those answers. I won’t pretend to.
From my experience and that’s all I can talk about. I wanted to change everyone and everything around me, but myself lol. I eventually, I came to the understanding, I could only change myself. How I reacted to a situation and/or circumstance was on me. I had concentrate on changing myself. Perhaps, that’s not your situation at all. I would suggest to be on the lookout in yourself for dishonesty, selfishness, resentments and fear. When I don’t have any of those things float in my mind, I have peace and serenity.
Yes, I believe it’s my own self that is the problem as I’ve already identified its my problem that I get upset being around alcohol
I guess I just need to acknoweldge this and overcome it.
My partner still drinks. Occasionally, I will have a resentment build up because I can’t drink. Sometimes she drinks too much. I know I can’t drink because I’ll breakout with a disease called “dumbass”, along beside alcoholism where I’ll drink for 5 days straight and every alcoholic beverage within a 10 mile radius.
It’s awesome job reaching out! Your feelings are who you are, and if you can get it off your chest or suggestions to put you in a better headspace use this tool.
Honestly, the time between 11th and 12th month were emotionally difficult for me. I gathered from others here that it wasn’t uncommon.
I think for me it was a feeling that I was so proud of myself but I never felt like it was a big deal to others. Either they just didn’t know I was coming up on a year or they didn’t think it was a big deal since they never believed I had a real problem.
I never wanted to bring them into my troubles so I never shared a lot with them just how difficult that year was so it was my own doing, still I felt alone and that caused me to be very blue.
But in time I learned to celebrate myself. I quit for me, i did the work, I celebrate the success. It isn’t about being praised by others. I do t do this for them.
NOW IM NOT SAYING THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING/GOING THROUGH.
I’m only sharing the reasons for my depression and how I dealt with it. I hope it helps you figure out how to deal with your own emotions
AND
CONGRATULATIONS on 11 months. You are so close to that 1 year.
Thank you for your support!
I think you are right… maybe I feel down partly because noone else around me really recognises my 11 months sober and it’s quite isolating.
It’s good to know thst im not alone in finding this stage difficult!
