This is my first post and it is my longest amount of clean time. I have to admit that the last 30 days has been amazing. I always heard that magic starts to happen at 90 days and I now know its facts. In the past I always relapsed at around 50 days and to be honest, I am almost did again but this time at 90 days, it got to point where I actually picked up and before using I had that moment of clarity and flushed it down the drain, not good for water but I needed it out asap. I am so thankful for that moment. It taught me that everything passes and sometimes everything is nothing, therefore don’t make a mountain or a life to a feeling that will pass. I find that after that moment and now being at 123 days those moments are softer. I know of course that I can not get a big ego because that always takes me out and that it is only a little over 4 months. I just find this time I did not stop taking drugs on purpose nor with struggle. It’s just one day became two and such.
My recovery is completely different than the one that I learned in sober living but it’s working for me and I am not white knuckling but I am thankful because I do have tools that I can use if I feel that empty feeling. -but today was a great day.
10 Likes
Welcome!! I admire the calm I read in your post. Sounds like you are in a positive groove and staying vigilant. Good things. Congrats on your 123!!!
3 Likes
Welcome Peter 
It sounds like you’re finding momentum in your journey. I admire that 
Good for you for sticking to it, one day at a time!
2 Likes