So I am at roughly 390 days clean, mostly past the daily cravimgs or fantasizing thoughts of using, more like weekly than daily now. But it seems like other aspects are getting worse, reliving past mistakes, constant boredom, feeling overwhelmed by the state of my life as a result of all the time I spent using and pushing people away or treating them badly, feeling the existential dread of all the time I cant get back… it can feel so depressing and sometimes (most of the time) I want to just sit alone and end up wasting even more time day by day feeling like my life is just passing me by. I try to spend more time with my family and doing things I enjoy but it feels like they are working less and less, just wanted to vent I guess.. hope anyone who reads this has a wonderful day <3
Yup, that will happen. It wont ever go away, but it wont always cause us suffering. Create a better past you can look back on now. Keep it simple. Do your best every day. Get the things done and do them well. Continue learning to trust in yourself that you are always going to try your best. Glad you joined us on this fine day!
Welcome friend, congrats on over a year or sober time, thats at least one thing to be proud of. You have way more time than me so i wont presume to give you advice, it sounds like you know you are depressed.
Lots of sobreity and spirituality books deal with our shame and guilt, different things we can do to work through it, and how to build a more fulfilling life in sobreity. Its helping me a LOT with these issues and keeps some of the existential dread at bay.
Im glad you reached out to us and am wishing you the best 
Hi @WharfRat1 welcome to the Froum the greatest sobriety app on the planet.
Congratulations on your 390 days ODAAT
I suffer from depression and from what you’ve just written I’d have a punt at you’re suffering from it to.
I’m not a Dr so I can’t and won’t diagnose you, you need to see a Dr and explain what you are feeling and how it’s affecting your life.
Depression is treatable, but it might take a bit of trial and error getting the best antidepressant for you and then getting the dose right.
If you do go down this route expect to wait 4 to 6 weeks before they are fully effective.
Take care and stay strong.
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Hey There ! Welcome. You are right in my wheelhouse with those same thoughts. I’m at Day 186. I am hopeful that this is not as good as it gets, but I also know that things are better. My disease wants me back so badly and I get it … I MISS ME TOO. 
I always wondered why I gravitated to the song Althea so much…. Until I read the lyrics in the Big Book of AA. The song has a whole new meaning now. I go to the basics every day. I ask for help to not drink and not be a dink 
I can’t complicate this program like I complicate everything else in my life. If you continue down this path of sobriety and continue corresponding with us, I’m confident you will look back at today’s text and realize “ This Too shall Pass” is a great mantra. Be Patient, Strong and Vigilant. Thanks for posting and keep us updated please 
