For the last 15 years, there hasn’t been a day without a drug. Be it alcohol, weed, chemicals or other substances that make you feel something. Always on the lookout for the next illegal high. Be it fighting the cops at demonstrations, boring graffiti or stealing somewhere.
On the night of October 28th 2024 I had a 7 hour breakdown, i was about to try again to end myself.
But after 15 years, I finally managed to confide to someone and it was the best decision i made my whole life.
I moved to another City, not far away. Still have my job and my boss knows about everything, i told him my story and he was the kindest person and he is helping a lot.
Now i’m 2 months sober from everything.
And I’m definitely doing better, but I don’t feel it yet. I hope it comes soon.
But the most difficult days are over. My first Christmas without substances but again alone.
New Year will be another challenge but after many years of darkness I go into the new year with positive thoughts.
Hi I’m Mark , completely new here . I relate alot about what your going through . Myself it wan drugs that took ahold of me for 25 years . I even did a 4 1/2 in patient program and at the time that was the longest time I was sober ., till now I’m now sober 1 year 5 months . You mentioned th alone feeling or being alone in general that ihtitalkyh relate to . See i was married , beautiful wife 2 awesome kids great job but leave it to me to screw that all up . You see my best friend who was my wife asked me one day what’s it like ? So she tried it and from that day forward is when it all started to go on a downward spiral . Our kids never knew what we were doing it they did and just never said anything . It was only on payday weekends we would smoke with no sleep usually going to work Monday without no sleep over the weekend . I knew it was not right and so did my wife but in 2 weeks it started again and again for almost 20 years . We fought time and time again she would tell me over and over she wanted us to stop but the drugs grabbed me so hard thatcm I would just come home with it and if she saw she would sit right beside me doing what we did always till it was all gone iir out of money . Life was getting a bit out of control . My wife’s min started getting dementia and she hid to go back to digby to take care of her for fir the summer . Wow what a great opportunity to get sober I was thinking and so was she . We called eachother daily , laughed even had movie night all the way across Canada . One thing tho she wasn’t being truthful with me ii kow now but at the time 8 was being played. You see she met a guy that lived right next door her parents place that rented a room from her uncle . Within3 weeks they were sleeping together . I found out a month after she got home when she left hey cell to my granddaughter . She asked me to fix something on it and I read my wife’s messenger the conversation between them bit . And I mean I read everything what happened the 5 months she was away . I was so heartbroken . Even those we were both addicts I always believed we’ve been through so much that recovery tigetherf would just make us even closer . I confronted her when she got home she first tried to deny it and then reversed the topic in me about invading her privacy . We wee best if friends we did everything. Together and now there’s secrets . Should have been a red flag but we decided to forget it I forgave her and wecstattdcto go for msrahe counseling . . Oh yeah we were both sober that summer but when it was brought out we we relapsed once and for clean again . Then 2cmonths later she was still talking with this guy telling me over and over there just friends .yeah right . He moved from digby to Edmonton right across the road from our condo. WTF eh I said if our 29vyear marriage was to get better she had to get him out of our lies for good . She looked me right in the face and said , nope he’s my bestie another WTF . I already had plans to go home for a week to vacation with friends . Once again me and the wife talked daily laughing carrying in bact to where we should have been. When I got home tho once again I’ve been lied to and was being played again . Out of the blue she says at the end of the week she was moving in with her sister . Omg she planned this and played my fir 8 damn months brainwashing me that were never seierat8jgvand we will get through this all along she was seeking over to his place saying she had to work a bit late I could only emaging what was going on . They both played me and the day she left so did my entire life for 25 years she even went on to say I knew it was coming .how there wasn’t a thing to show that you were going to leave . Just like that this guy took over the rills I had in my life , just like that m every weekend we were at her sisters place you see her parents health wasn’t good so they moved in with her sister my father in law and I played pool and wecvec8ne the closest of friends . All the family get-togethers and hot tubing my entire life for 25vyears gone in a blink of an eye . My and the ex still talk on a daily basis. She’s now had a great apartment by herself and I live with a roommate now . Like 8 said I’ve been sober now for the longest ever .8 still live my wife she was my everything . If 8 didn’t let herctryvthe shit I I believe we would still be together I blamed myself for years . Being alone up until recently . At the end of the day her cheating sobered me up . We got together by cheating on our others so her leaving the same way w3 got together would have eventually happened . She did say well it was going to happen just so she feels justification for cheating . But yeah being alone does suck but gives you time to focus on what you need to do to become a sober part of society . All for the good . Thanks for listening to my story . There still alot more I just said the just of what happened to my life all because of addiction . Thanks again
