Today I am 16 days clean and sober. I feel much better on the one hand and a little lost on the other. I was a high functioning alcoholic for a long time but I’m now 50 and over the last 5 years it got much worse. I have, lost jobs, relationships, lots of money and of course my health. I know there are a million reasons to stay sober and no reasons to drink again but I feel a little like I lost my best friend. I am also a part time musician and
play a lot of gigs where there is free alcohol. I don’t want to give up playing gigs as it brings me a huge amount of joy, but I’m nervous about putting myself in those situations. I feel cursed.
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Welcome, Joe! Congrats on 16 days. I was a long time drinker as well. Chronically relapsed until I finally got my mindset changed. Thought I was losing a good friend, which is a natural part of the process, but that “friend” was really a wolf in disguise. TS is a big part of my recovery. I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have. Lots of threads to explore. Best wishes!
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Hey man, I can relate to how you’re feeling. It was like I lost a friend when I quit too.
The thing that helped me was to change my relationship with alcohol.
I wrote about my process here. Maybe it can help you too.
I am also a musician and initially felt that I couldn’t be sober AND perform, but it’s totally possible! Since getting sober I’ve done more musically than all the years before. I’ll even say playing music is better sober, I am more focused and present. I actually live in the moment. Before I could barely recall even playing live…
Anyhow, welcome and stick around!
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Welcome to the community Joe and great work on your 16 days of sobriety. I know exactly how you feel - the loss of a loved one or a best friend when you give up a life long addiction. Think of it as a toxic relationship that you are now healing from.
I do know its possible to still enjoy life and your passions (like playing gigs) without the evil addiction. Possibly have your own non alcoholic drinks available for yourself so that you are not tempted by the drinks.
great to have you here with us - hope to see you around!