I’m so happy since I started I went out with friends multiple times and I’ve never give into alcohol, only sweet little mocktail and stuff yummy. Tonight tho I feel that this is going to be a bigger challenge since it’s a house party all of my friends drink, and I already feel some kind of fomo. I still wanna go there I don’t want to miss on social event especially birthday. I will have my cigarette and coke it’s already pretty damn good !! Do you guys have any tips for these social events? Thank you
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You don’t have to go. Your sobriety is more important, and it’s too fresh right now to start testing it.
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Is this birthday party more important than your sobriety? If not, don’t go. Testing yourself early in sobriety is never a good idea. Playing with fire will get your burnt 
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I can see why you wouldn’t want to miss a friend’s birthday party…
But honestly, I wouldn’t go. You said yourself that you have fomo about it - that sounds super risky to me.
If you feel you must go, can you just stop in for 30 minutes, drop off any gift, say hey to everyone, and get outta there?
Or, call your friend in advance, tell them you can’t stay long, but that you’ll drop off a gift or just drop by for a minute (maybe even before the party gets started)?
* But for real… if you really want to be sober… I feel like you shouldn’t go.
I’m only 27 days in, and there’s no way I could resist my drug of choice if I chose to get near it.
None of us can make your choices; but please think about why you committed to the point that you have 17 days under your belt…
Wishing the best for you. 
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I don’t go to anything I think I’m going to be tempted and am worried about. Shit I have a hard enough time to keep from drinking when I’m avoiding all the trigger spots. That’s why I am at day 5 today. I want to be sober so I can’t go anywhere like that for a long while.
All my friends and loved ones support me 100% of if I feel like I’m going to be tempted. They tell me to stay home.
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17 days is impressive work. Grateful you are a part of this community and working on your sobriety journey.
In early sobriety we do have to give up on some activities and gatherings in an effort to protect ourselves. This does not mean that you will never be social again or that you have to live a boring life. It just means that for the early days you need to focus on you and your needs. Keep yourself away from triggers and places that give you FOMO. If you are already feeling FOMO before going then it is only going to get worse when you are in the midst of it.
Tonight it is a birthday, then it could be an engagment or a new job or a baby shower or another birthday. Reasons to get together and celebrate will always exist but your chance to work on your sobriety and have it stick only comes around once. Having to start over is a bitch and not always guaranteed.
I know many who have pushed through and been determined to attend the event or party and even made it through that night but then the urges gets super strong and within a week they have given into the addiction.
Since you are asking - I would say skip the event. A true friend would understand. You can celebrate the birthday on a different day in a different way with them. If you are adamant on going then have an exit plan, make sure to always have a non alcoholic drink in hand so no one can offer you a drink. Keep this app handy and check in if you feel triggered and need support. Take breaks from the socializing by going outside or into another room if possible.
I wish you well and hope we will be celebrating your 3 weeks with you soon 
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I’ve been here a hundred times or more. I’ve discovered, I just can’t do it…
As usual, thanks for sharing powerful insights in a very digestible way! 
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They’ll have a birthday next year.
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If it were me, I would skip it. Arrange another, safer time and place to celebrate the birthday privately and alcohol free. Catch up with your friend sober, quality time and real time to talk would be my suggestion.
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My advice, if you really want sobriety, is to do what others with long term sobriety did to get sober, and that is to not go.
My first go round, I went to that party. I didn’t drink, but I also didn’t have a good time. I was so focused on not drinking that I couldn’t even enjoy myself. The second party, I also didn’t drink. But the third, that one was different. I was so confident because I was 60 days sober, I let my guard down. I decided to drink, because I quit for 60 days, I could do it again. It wasn’t that long… Just start over…
Well, I didn’t start over, not for another 8 ot 9 months.
My next go round, I decided to listen to the advice, I didn’t go to the parties, and I am still sober today, almost 8 years later. Coincidence? Maybe, but probably not.
I’d stay home, wake up sober on day 18, less fun, but zero risk, there’s always next year.
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I think a community of people trying to maintain sobriety would be the best environment.
Early sobriety is difficult.. putting yourself in a party full of alcohol sounds super risky
Hope you’re able to connect with others on the same journey
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I would stay at home. I wouldnt risk it.
Staying sober is more important than anything else.
Maybe and hopefully, some day it will be easier. But until then: stay at home from booze parties.
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Hey guys I don’t know hiw to answer to everyone I hope you see my post. First at all thank you so much for your support and your advice ! I didn’t drink it wasn’t easy but I didn’t. Also I feel that posting this topic before going actually help me a bit. I stayed outside with a little group of non drinker, I stayed 2h and went home when the party started to be more messy. Again thank you it’s my first time trying to be sober so I don’t know everything but reading your answer I knew I couldn’t disappoint tonight. But you guys are right it’s really dangerous and I was tempted so I’m going to take a break from party until I feel more secure thank you again 
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Thank you for the update. Grateful you got through the evening. Glad you did leave early before the messy evening started.
Do take extra care now as the triggers from the evening can tend to linger and cause the addict voice to be loud.
Glad you are sober and stacking up another day ..keep up the amazing momentum 
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I’m really proud of you…
You asked the question BEFORE you went to the party. I’m sure this did make you more aware and alert at the actual party.
You made some necessary adjustments to help you succeed - staying separate from the main drinking crowd & leaving earlier were probably very helpful to you.
You checked back in with us to let us know how it went. Staying connected will be very important.
I’m glad you remained sober and can continue moving forward…
I’m also glad you realize that you were still tempted, and that you need not to attend another party any time soon.
Sometimes, the greatest enemy of success is prior success. It can cause you to feel like ‘I got this!’ or like you can let your guard down -
But, as you realize, you absolutely cannot.
In the near future, you might be invited to something else, and you might feel like ‘well, I did it last time, so I should be able to do it again’.
Please don’t believe that voice when it comes. Just go ahead and stick to your decision to lay off from such get togethers for a while. Sticking to your guns will be a much safer choice.
Wishing you the best!
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