Today marks 18 Months of sobriety for me.
Thank you GOD ! I am so very grateful for my new sober life. I never thought that I could be this happy being sober. This journey has been life changing for me.
There was a time, early in my Sobriety, that I thought “Maybe one day in the future, years from now, I’ll be able to drink wine”. LOL…I thought that I would be able to stop drinking for a while, until I felt that I had a handle on it and then only drink wine without any issue.
I now know how crazy it was for me to think that way as I now know and have come to accept the fact that I would never be able to drink again without a sucking me of the life that I now have and love.
I truly believe that “Sobriety Delivers Everything Alcohol Promised”
For the most part, I am able to love and accept myself as I am. I don’t feel the need to drink in order to feel comfortable within my own skin. My anxiety has also gotten so much better since quitting.
Although my new sober life is wonderful, I still, at times, get so very sad when I sit with my feelings and nothing to full them. Therefore, I am forced to “Feel”.
I get sad because I hate the person that I used to be and the behavior that I exhibited when drinking. I’m not sure the guilt will ever go away. Does it??
The better and stronger I get, the more I think about the mistakes I’ve made and hate that it took me so long to realize the hurt that I was causing the ones that love me most.
I wouldn’t change the person that I am today. I’d rather feel this way and be sober to figure it all out than be unwell physically and mentally, hurting myself and those I love.
I am happy and celebrating my achievement. I just needed to say all of this 
So, here’s to 18 months sober!
I wish us all self love and the strength to keep fight another day.
Thanks for reading!
