so on the 18th of next month I will have been testing clean for 5 years!
i cant but wonder if anyone will even notice?
tbh I highly doubt anyone will even say well done if I point it out to them!
seems to me that the better I do the more people dislike it!
they used to tell me “if you just stop taking drugs everything will change for the better”
silly me I thought that they meant things would get better for me, turns they actually meant things would get better for them and things would get worse for me.
after all they don’t have to put up with me begging and borrowing all the time. as for me i can no longer associate with my addict friends and the normies still shun me, even after 5 years clean
kinda sucks
my goodness coming up on 5 years is super impressive!
I know my family and friends love me and want me to be healthy but they really don’t understand how tough the journey is and how much of an accomplishment it is to be sober. That is why i love this community. Being among friends who get the struggle and know how amazing it is to be reaching each milestone.
I know in our sober journey we leave behind our “addict friends” and those who can’t be happy for us in our new life. It is hard to find sober friends but do not give up on this. Possibly look into meet ups in your area where you can meet people with similar interests. I have found great friends this way and amazingly we can find ways to hang out without drinking / smoking.
I do want to reach out and let you know it is incredible that you are coming up on 5 years of sobriety!
5 years! Massive congratulations to you for hitting such an astonishing milestone. You are an inspiration to me! Keep marching to the beat of your own drum. Those who support you will play alongside, those who don’t can leave the band. It can be tough feeling alone on your journey, but keep checking in here and you will know that we’re here with you too. With 5 years under your belt, I feel like you have what it takes to make sobriety work.
Yes i am doing it for me.
But a little bit of support or the occasional ‘well done’ would make a great difference.
But instead i get people trying to knock me back down all the time.
Even drug services are putting road blocks in my way in my quest to get free of the methadone.
I ask them for a small manageable dose reduction and it takes the 2 months to do it.
I ask for a big reduction that would put me at risk of relapse andits done on the day.
And why is that.
Because.
Every patient cured is a cliant lost.
After allif the junkies go away their jobs go away.
well, the 18th came and went.
And like I expected I didn’t get one single, well done mate!
please understand I’m not clean from drugs because I want praise etc But the occasional well done would make a big difference!
all I ever seem to get is negative reinforcement when I do things wrong and thusly when I get a very rare positive reinforcement for doing things right it makes a huge difference!
I keep finding myself thinking of those abused dogs that after years of being beaten and abused, they finally turn and start biting people, of course, everyone then blames the dog for biting, while absolving themselves of any blame for the state the dog was in!
but the thing about those dogs is that it doesn’t take much love and attention to turn the dog’s life around! but the sad fact is that very few people are willing to give that attention!
I totally relate to this with my family.
There’s just nothing. Not even a I’m proud.
This time round my mum especially made a point of saying don’t be expecting any well done or congratulations she told me people don’t do that, for something I should already be doing!
My answer was, well you didn’t say anything encouraging before my relapse I’m definitely not expecting that from you this time. But it would feel nice if you did.
… nope not going to happen.
All I have learnt is that the true feelings of accomplishment comes from within me. My true happiness and what keeps me going is learning my strengths.
I got and still do, get all my support from everyone here.
Everyone here is my support. - I can say I relapsed recently after quite an orite amount of time and I think I need to get to AA to add to my tool box, and to be around people who know the struggle and I can also be there to celebrate for those who aren’t getting that support from close ones.
This stuck out to me as it’s so true!
Congratulations on your 5 years, that’s is extra huge
I’m proud of you
Im sorry to say but it will get worse before it gets better unfortunately! Its just how the World works & how the normal people perceive us! Btw well done my friend on the 5 year’s clean like Wow!! Im impressed for real! Stay Hard & Humble!!
I gotta be honest, I am proud of what I’ve achieved over the last 5 years.
5 years of clean testing (random testing)
jumped through all the hoops DVLA required of me to get my driving license back.
lost 8 and a half stone of weight.
cut down my medications (methadone)
saved up and brought a car.
(I actually saved money for the first time in my life, admittedly for the first year I didn’t spend anything because I kept thinking I might need it for drugs but hey whatever works right!)
you would think that after such major changes people would say “ok, he has/is changed, lets give him a second chance!” but sadly not.
I’m still seen as a dirty, granny mugging, house burgling, smelly junky!
even tho I never did a mugging or a burglary, in fact I actually worked to pay for my drugs but heyho.
and the few who will talk to me are in truth just virtue signaling “look at my talking to the x junkie” kinda thing.
you know, I’ve gotten to the point now where when people do show me actual genuine kindness I find it very hard not to get emotional about.
a gentleman gave me a £5 tip at work the other day and it was overwhelming I had to go and sit quietly and get myself back together for a couple of mins afterwards!
that’s a really bad place to be in!
You have every right to be proud. That is a lot to achieve.
I get emotional about stuff a lot too. It is okay to be emotional and to express it. We held all that in for so long, we used at it so we wouldn’t feel. Emotions mean we feel and that is a positive to me.
I hope this isn’t over stepping, but maybe another step towards healing for you might be changing your user name? Just something to consider. I think how we identify ourselves is important.
