Hello this is my first ever anything regarding my addiction. My DoC is beer. My fiance and me got together almost six years ago, we would drink wine for the most part and now we are here me drinking enough beer to fall asleep. Both of drinking and being alcoholics made it hard for us to come to this point. I’ve said in the past I want us to quit and she wasn’t ready, when she was ready I wasn’t. Now here we are, she went to detox for four days, I was the biggest wreck of my life crying every night drinking a beer and hating myself. (I’m not a crier my fiance has never seen me cry). She was afraid of detox problems and thinks I should go and I should go to group meetings and couples therapy around our drinking. I’ve been two days tonight sober I don’t have the shakes and I feel pretty dang good except I’m a little grumpy. She has been 5 days sober. I feel like I am okay without the detox and my anxiety (big part of why I drank) and of talking with people face to face scares the crap out of me to go to an AA meeting. She finds them extremely helpful but they just flat out scare me. I want to be there with her we are in this together and we our each other’s support. I am so proud of her for taking the first step giving me the courage to stop for good, but I just don’t want to go to a detox or in person meetings, I am okay with couples therapy though. I feel more safe and not judged. I don’t want us to grow apart getting different types of help but I don’t know if I am over thinking this. Thank you for any advice I am new to this.
Go to the meeting and just sit and listen, there are no rules that say you have to talk, in fact AA only has one rule and that is the desire to stop drinking. I used to go to a meeting and there was a women there who turned up drunk and only spoke at Xmas about how she misses her husband. But that hour a week might be the only hour she didn’t have a drink in her hand, she was treated with the same respect as any other member.
Thank you, I will give it a try with her I’m to anxious to go on my own. The biggest hurdle is finding a baby sitter so we can both go. My parents live to far away and her dad and mom won’t admit they have a problem so we don’t let them come over in the evening because they will either drink or already be drunk and we don’t want to in our lives.
We talked before her meeting and we found a zoom meeting we are going to do this evening.
Thank you! My fiance found it so I downloaded it and she encouraged me to make a post and said it would help me. And to be honest it did, getting it off my chest and into the world is such a relief. There is such a stigma around admitting you have a drinking problem. I live in a farming county and work in a factory and all I hear all day is everyone saying they are going to go have a beer and I felt I didn’t have an outlet besides my wonderfully amazing fiance and I was scared I was going to let her down. But we want this in our lives and we are committed to this, and I’m glad I have an outlet to help me succeed!
Thank you so much for the resource! My fiance and me attended last night and it was very helpful. Can’t wait to join again tonight!
I can promise you that not a single person at a meeting will judge you. Every single person will understand how you are feeling. I completely understand the the anxiety because we’ve all felt that too. You just need to walk through the door and you will see how great it is. At least you will have your fiancé there to hold your hand.
YOU CAN DO IT!!