How have you gone meeting people without that because I take it it’s how a lot of people meet these days especially socially awkward or anxious people. Thank you for your comment great to hear I’m not the only one experiencing this!!
Oh the world we live in now. Dating apps really are a tough thing. Like @DuncanNZ was saying they have become so engrained in our society as a way to meet people. I am currently off them as they represent a huge problem for me and I am not looking to bring someone into my life now anyway. But if i ever go back to them (which i hope i won’t have to) i know they will represent a challenge as it was always far to easy to find someone to provide me with the “fix” i was seeking.
Just generally speaking as my mindset slowly changes with each clean day i notice more and more the absolutle “sexification” of society. Media, social media, face to face conversations, it’s pervasive and so socially normal now to hypersexualize basically everything. Luckily im not finding it overly triggering i have just found myself noticing it from a new vantage.
PS sexification is a word right 
2 Likes
33 days…. Considered relapsing then realised 30 days is actually a really long time and that would take a long time to earn back
3 Likes
I’m currently not looking to date. Not in the right headspace for it.
When I get in the right headspace then that’s a bridge I’ll cross but it’s not something to worry about right now.
2 Likes
Great idea deleting the accounts and not just the apps @rich13693…so much easier to jump back in where you left off if you know the accounts are there. Totally get what you’re saying about the right headspace. If that day comes it will be very interesting approaching the apps and dating in general with a new sense of purpose
Have any of you read Easy Peasy yet?
This is a hackbook based on Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking
It’s message was an important one; that I need to identify and address the brainwashing within myself; that porn (along with lust) has value, and by choosing to live without it, I’m making a sacrifice.
Thus, according to Allen Carr, I’m quitting porn using a willpower method.
The truth is that porn, nor lust, don’t have any value. They are completely worthless. Instead of curing stress, it creates it. Instead of curing anxiety, I end up more anxious after each session. The brainwashing occurs when I use, it raises my dopamine a little, and I confuse that for feeling good. And I don’t pay attention to the low that follows.
That low is caused by my DOC. A low that wouldn’t have occurred if I hadn’t chosen to act out. The truth is that porn doesn’t make me feel good. It actually does the opposite. It makes me feel bad.
But I think Easy Peasy does a better job explaining that then me.
The point is that a life without porn or lust shouldn’t be this overwhelming daily excruciating minute by minute mental fight. Sometimes, I get the cravings. But craving all the time points to a huge problem within me, namely brainwashing. So I don’t give myself permission to crave anymore. Craving just leads to more craving for me. Like acting out simply leads to more acting out.
4 Likes
Thanks. EasyPeasy is on my list. That list is long but one day I’ll get to that one
1 Like
I read easypeasy after seeing one of @KevinesKay 's posts about it. Highly recommend it, great read, easy to follow, didn’t take long to get through.
The bit about drinking bleach had me cracking up!
1 Like
34 days. Am still on the apps although I’m hearing the message people are putting out here. Got myself into work today. Felt good. Got two more days to prepare. I don’t obsess about relapsing, but I’ll look into what you suggested @KevinesKay. It’s more just the loneliness I’m battling with atm. I’m going to AA meetings every night and talking about that. I think I need to do some more work on step 7. The meetings are great, I just feel I need more than one a day as crazy as that sounds I don’t have my friends or anyone else. People seem to just gravitate away from me at a rapid pace. It’s crazy like I don’t think I’m that bad. I guess some people have their own trauma too.
2 Likes
35 days. Day was ok, two Aa Meetings one zoom meeting, met sponsor, worked, gym. Ate food in a reasonable manner. Didn’t make any stupid choices.
2 Likes
Keep it up!
2 Likes
36 days. Went to work, went to NA. Went to the gym, twice. Listened to gospel music all day, prayed. Accepted a service role in NA, cold shower, ate within reason and healthy food.
1 Like
Great work today. Here’s to another great day tomorrow.
37 days. Press ups, cold shower, prayer this morning. Listened to gospel music. Minimal dating site usage about 10 min so far today. AA meeting tonight, gym tonight. Went to bed at a reasonable hour. Got some jobs ticked off at work. Was kind to others.
2 Likes
38 days. Meeting, push ups, cold shower, agreed to chair Tuesday night AA- hopefully don’t forget…
3 Likes
39 days ditto from yesterday practically gym press ups cold shower NA gave someone something ummm…. Pretty good day prayer… handed some things over… had some reasonable sleep hygiene last night… still in a growing sleep deficit high caffeine consumption very late at night pre gym
2 Likes
40 days ditto from yesterday
2 Likes
41 days. Weekend, I struggle with weekends.
2 Likes
Is there a particular trigger or anything that makes weekends more difficult?
1 Like
42 days ditto……
1 Like