Just a quick note to add my thoughts are with you- it would be good to hear how youre doing. I’m 30 days sober and can identify with a deep sense of being lost. It’s definitely a ‘one day at a time’ project for me. When it gets tough, I have to remind myself that weathering the storm is better than being dead, which is where I was headed. Hang in there. I’ve personally found meetings useful as I hear my story in so many others (even though I’m an introvert); and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. We may never meet- but you are definitely not alone my friend.
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Welcome to TS and congrats. I appreciate you mentioning that you are an introvert but still have gone to meetings. I would say at least half the people in my local AA group are introverts. I’m so glad they didn’t use that excuse to mind community and support. They helped me get and stay sober. Go introverts!
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Thank you, I’m greatful I found this place. ‘Go introverts’- love it 
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When and how did you stop being cruel to yourself? I still let my 17 year old get over on me because I was a drunk for 8 years of his life and that guilt cuts my soul.
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Ugh, Stephanie. My then 14 year old daughter did same to me. Totally took advantage of my guilt and shame. I got diagnosed with cancer at 7 months sober, so my daughter lightened up on me. Hang in there. And definitely let go of the shame and guilt. Your daughter is beyond fortunate to have you.
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Glad you’re taking it one day at a time. It takes time to feel better. The mind has to adjust. The questions about who you are are normal. The interest in life comes back and the urges diminish.
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Oh man….solid question. I’m still not great at it. But…there are somethings that have been helpful:
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Restorative yoga. Sounds crazy, but learning how to do something that let me take care of myself was crucial for me to realize I was worth taking care of.
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Early in sobriety I did a lot of positive affirmation work. I would tell myself how proud I was of myself. Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal your Life” helped here.
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Journaling. It was helpful for me to see how negative my internal monologue was. It was easier to see it on paper. From there I could practice reframing my thoughts via writing as well. Cognitive Behavior Therapy Journaling was really helpful here.
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Each sober day that I got in the books was another day of me making good choices. Acting well, treating others well. This was all stuff that I could be proud of, that I could feel good about. The more and more I did the good stuff, acted in the good ways…the better I could feel about the kind of person I was.
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I read a lot of books on sobriety. Hearing about people that did it, that made the change, really made it seem possible for me. It also helped me understand what parts of my past walked me down this road of addiction. “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” was a helpful book here.
I hope any of this helps 
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Thank you. Well I’m at 23 days but I made it through my first holiday without alcohol and it’s the first I can remember. But I did it. Cravings are horrible everyday. I did get a new dog though and caring for him helps keep my mind busy.
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Huge congratulations on making it through the holiday. One day at a time- sometimes one minute at a time, is definitely the way to go. I find it helps me stop building expectations- or carrying a huge mental weight of “never again”. “Not today” is much easier to manage. Keep in touch my friend.
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Are you still shaking, puking, running a fever, ie. slowly dying? If the answer is “no”, then there’s your first answer.
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Love this. Thank you
I was always drunk so my kids just saw me as having that personality and didn’t know anything different. I was a highly functioning alcoholic. I was drunk everyday at multiple jobs and nothing was ever said. I was just me. My kids were always my first priority but alcohol was 2nd. Always nice, always worked, always kept the bills paid, you would have never known. It never effected anyone in my family until the day I stopped. And now they are having to become acquainted to a new person that’s less happy and less fun. I’ve always pondered the movies that portray someone falling off the wagon to go beat their spouse, crash their car, go to jail, ect just cause alcohol touched their lips. That was never me. Alcohol makes me normal. Sober me seems to be the one that’s more likely to end up in jail 
I took my first road trip for work sober 2 days ago and I legit can’t keep from swerving and can barely pay attention. I stumble when I walk sober, cause these are things I’ve really never done without at least a 5th in my belly. So yeah it’s a new experience for me as well as my family.
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Thank you. Well today is 30 days. Never thought I’d make that. 2 days ago a lot of things hit me all at once and I was extremely stressed. I wanted at least a beer and I came so close to have bought one, opened it, and touched the can to my lips. But I didn’t take a drink and poured it out. And for the first time since I could remember I was proud of myself. I keep thinking of something my dad told me when he stopped drinking that always messed me up. He always said even if you don’t drink, 2 beers a week is good for your kidneys to keep them flushed out lol and anytime I tried to quit and got a craving I’d remember that and think to myself “let’s fix these kidneys up” and my 2 beers would turn into 30 really fast every time. Like is it even cheating to use alcohol for a medical reason or even to cook with? Idk.
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Huge congratulations on 30 days- you’re doing so well! On the ‘good for your kidneys’ theory- even if that turned out to be true (which I’m sceptical of), the hammering your kidneys actually end up getting after the many many beers that will actually be consumed far outweighs any incremental benefit. Stay strong my friend and keep catching the sneaky excuses like this your mind will throw up 
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Yes we’ve all been there….we all start there!!! Things will start to open up, you will find out what you like, what you enjoy, what you’re good at and all the different aspects of our life that slipped away or came second to our drug of choice or drink. Just hold on and get through one day at a time, sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. Meetings really help me (zoom and in person) to remind me why I am doing this and to remind me that I’m not alone! Give yourself a break and keep pushing forward. You deserve this amazing life and you are doing the hard shit right now🫶🏼:partying_face:
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Don’t go back, you’re doing so well. It’s not just one drink it’s your whole life that could be lost, don’t listen to the alcoholic voice telling you to drink, shut that voice down instantly, as frequently as you need to, it will lose strength over time.
It’s going to take time and work but it’s your whole life and it’s really worth it. Focus on not drinking that’s all you need to do right now, other things will come with time.
For the moment try reading inspirational books, they helped me a lot at the start of this journey.
Your life will change for the better, that’s for sure, if you keep up the good work. Don’t let the alcoholism trick you into turning back, it will literally tell you anything and will make any excuse to tempt you back.
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