Just a quick note to add my thoughts are with you- it would be good to hear how youre doing. I’m 30 days sober and can identify with a deep sense of being lost. It’s definitely a ‘one day at a time’ project for me. When it gets tough, I have to remind myself that weathering the storm is better than being dead, which is where I was headed. Hang in there. I’ve personally found meetings useful as I hear my story in so many others (even though I’m an introvert); and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. We may never meet- but you are definitely not alone my friend.
Welcome to TS and congrats. I appreciate you mentioning that you are an introvert but still have gone to meetings. I would say at least half the people in my local AA group are introverts. I’m so glad they didn’t use that excuse to mind community and support. They helped me get and stay sober. Go introverts!
Thank you, I’m greatful I found this place. ‘Go introverts’- love it
When and how did you stop being cruel to yourself? I still let my 17 year old get over on me because I was a drunk for 8 years of his life and that guilt cuts my soul.
Ugh, Stephanie. My then 14 year old daughter did same to me. Totally took advantage of my guilt and shame. I got diagnosed with cancer at 7 months sober, so my daughter lightened up on me. Hang in there. And definitely let go of the shame and guilt. Your daughter is beyond fortunate to have you.
Glad you’re taking it one day at a time. It takes time to feel better. The mind has to adjust. The questions about who you are are normal. The interest in life comes back and the urges diminish.
Oh man….solid question. I’m still not great at it. But…there are somethings that have been helpful:
Restorative yoga. Sounds crazy, but learning how to do something that let me take care of myself was crucial for me to realize I was worth taking care of.
Early in sobriety I did a lot of positive affirmation work. I would tell myself how proud I was of myself. Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal your Life” helped here.
Journaling. It was helpful for me to see how negative my internal monologue was. It was easier to see it on paper. From there I could practice reframing my thoughts via writing as well. Cognitive Behavior Therapy Journaling was really helpful here.
Each sober day that I got in the books was another day of me making good choices. Acting well, treating others well. This was all stuff that I could be proud of, that I could feel good about. The more and more I did the good stuff, acted in the good ways…the better I could feel about the kind of person I was.
I read a lot of books on sobriety. Hearing about people that did it, that made the change, really made it seem possible for me. It also helped me understand what parts of my past walked me down this road of addiction. “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” was a helpful book here.
I hope any of this helps
Thank you. Well I’m at 23 days but I made it through my first holiday without alcohol and it’s the first I can remember. But I did it. Cravings are horrible everyday. I did get a new dog though and caring for him helps keep my mind busy.
Huge congratulations on making it through the holiday. One day at a time- sometimes one minute at a time, is definitely the way to go. I find it helps me stop building expectations- or carrying a huge mental weight of “never again”. “Not today” is much easier to manage. Keep in touch my friend.
Are you still shaking, puking, running a fever, ie. slowly dying? If the answer is “no”, then there’s your first answer.
Love this. Thank you