I relapsed last night. Drinking and cocaine. My sponser is mad at me, which I understand. It just sucks. why is it so hard? I feel like a faliure. 21 days gone. I was so excited to hit that 30 day mark. Now in a moment of weakness, I threw it all away. Feeling really down on myself today. Any suggestions on how you bounced back after a relapse?
I try to use the disappointment I feel after a relapse to motivate me next time the temptation comes knocking. When we use we borrow happiness from our future selves. When we have the temptation to use and we say no we can reserve that happiness and use the momentum of it to carry us to reach our goals and live happier, more controlled and more fulfilling days. The regret you are feeling at the moment can hurt you or it can inspire you to stay strong and reach that 30 days sober you’re aiming for!
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Very sorry to hear this.
- Where were you, who were you with that facilitated you deciding to use?
- Did you have a plan in place to avoid that person/that situation? If Yes, rework your plan. If No, now you see why I preach “Plan, Plan, Plan.”
- What will you do today to avoid that trap again?
I’ll be happy to discuss w you some things that work for me.
Best,
Chandler
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Thank you. I ended up meeting with a friend who i havent seen in a long time. She showed me a bag of coke and handed me a bump. I knew i shouldnt have, but my will power sucks. Im scared that ill never be able to say no. And it kills me to know i lost those 21 days. Makes me sick. And of course the coke lead me into the bar to drink. Just makes me so sad.
Id try to avoid certain people for awhile
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Its hard to when literally all your friends and family drink and do drugs
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Im sure it is. Everybody around me drinks too. I dont have the drug problem though. I have stopped hanging out with some old “friends” who havent respected my dicesion to stop drinking and have pushed me to try and drink.
My situation is different than yours since im married and have a couple of kids so im not out much, so i can see how much harder it is for you.
You did great before the relapse so just use the feelings you have now to make sure it doesnt happen again, and as others have mentioned. Have a plan. Think about what might happen and how you can avoid the same pitfalls.
My neighbor and i always had beers on the weekend. He would hit me up as i was mowing the lawn or in my backyard. I just had to plan my response and turn him down. Which was crazy hard, because in my mind, i thought i could just have one or 2, but knew in reality id drive to get more right after.
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I have relapsed 4 times in 5 months first sober stint was 10 weeks… Now 10 days sober again and am considering rehabilitation to save my family and job. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Every time I trick myself into thinking it’s ok to drink I end up in super fucked up situations.
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Hey girl Ik excacly what you are going thru, same thing days and all. I was 22 days sober, my friend came with a bottle and we ended up drinking and doing alot of coke. Woke up the next day like wtf have I done, I really threw all my day sober down the drain for one dumb night that made me feel guilty and ashamed anyways! But it wasn’t all thrown away… I am back on day 6 and it helped teach me a lesson, giving in and sing yes will only make things harder, and it was a shitty feeling the next day when i woke up. Remember that feeling… I even recorded myself balling my eyes out so I can watch it when I want to drink again. How things helps, as long as you want this you got it. You might fall down a few times but pick yourself back up and start over
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Rach,
What you find is your “Drinking Buddies” were really only friends w Drinking, you just happened to be there when they were doing it. There are lots of people I no longer see bc I stopped drinking. I stopped doing what they wanted me to do. Theynweeded themselves out.
If you for real stop, the Drinking Buddies will fall away. It s sad, I supposed, but, Your Sobriety is yours. If you are here, you’ve decided to make a change for your betterment.
Best,
Chandler
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I stopped 260 days ago and have been going strong since. I can’t stress how important those first 30 days are. They are dangerous and difficult. You learn a lot in that time. Congratulations on 21. Unfortunately you didn’t make it to 30 which you were looking forward to. Hopefully there is something you learned in those 21 for this time.
Personally, and there has been some debate about the good and bad of doing so, but when i stopped i set a goal of 100 days. It lessened the permanent is hard feeling i always had. But when i reached my goal i kept going because the benefits were great. Plus o was able to be open about not drinking and there was a goal involved. My friends got that. Now I’m on a sober year, i say. Just to avoid the C’mon you can have 1 crowd…
If i rember from the where are you from post, you’re a pittsburgher too. I still go out but i avoid things that are just drinking. I’ll do dinner in town but avoid the North shore after. I’ll south side if there’s a band playing. Something else i can enjoy that doesn’t require drinking… Primantis is always safe though.
Hit reset. Start over. That’s strength.
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