I drink since I was16 years old and it was a problem in my life. Actually, a solution to my “problems” that led to me not being able to…well just get my shit together. My job, college.
This month I drank every single day and got to a lot of really bizar places that I’m having a hard time thinking about it. I downloaded the app because I’m scared. I dont like myself anymore. I cant talk to people and be interesting without being drunk and its hard. I’m in college. Nobody does anything else but drink and get high together to make friendships. Thats what makes it feel not real my understanding of my alcoholism. My friends think I’m fine, cause they dont know that when the party is over, I still come home with a bottle of something to help me be with myself. I wanna go to AA meeting, but am I an alcoholic, or just a young drunk girl who is lost?
Drinking alone is definitely a sign of alcoholism.I didnt know that until my husband pointed it out.Of course I also had a feeling I was but I was in denial.
Alcohol is so bad for your body I know most of the stomach problems I have are because of how much I partied and how much I drank when the party was over.
Im glad you are here, dont worry about what other people are doing.Its important to take care of yourself and love yourself.
Welcome Aggie! The good news your very young and starting now you can reverse any issues emotionally, mentally or physically your experiencing.
The question is how many units are you consuming and the frequency? If your like a typical college student, I would guess binge drinking is your issue.
Your drinking is serious enough in your own eyes that you know it’s a problem. I don’t use labels, and it’s not denial that makes me say that. I also realized I did have an issue, and a step back was necessary to regain my bearings.
AA is a wonderful program, but I’m not sure you need to go directly to that extreme,yet. You can use many techniques to evaluate yourself, that many of us are using to gain a understanding of alcohol and the effects it has on us. It’s never to early to educate yourself.
I’m by no means applying you not to reach out to AA. Alcoholism untreated can have some very dangerous implications.
Lots of experience, knowledge and caring people around here to support, and point you in the right direction. Whatever your thinking you need to respect alcohol at the very least.
Best wishes, stay strong and start out with small goals. Your in a vulnerable spot right now.
This is a really positive step you’re taking. I started drinking when I was about 15 because “everyone was doing it”, thing is, they weren’t, and I’ll bet not everyone at your college is either. Try joining a club or a society, there may even be a group of sober people just celebrating sobriety. Sobriety has become a big thing. Are you on instagram? You’ll find a really active, supportive community there.
If you feel unhappy with your drinking, now is the time to stop. If you feel AA is the thing to try then try it. I was told throughout my drinking ‘career’ that I didn’t have a problem, by well meaning friends and family who most likely didn’t want to admit it to themselves. They prevented me from seeking help sooner. I’m fortunate that at 31 I’ve now made the commitment to myself and it’s stuck. But I wish I’d gone to AA the first time I wanted to, it would have saved so much heartache.
Good luck and much love to you 
Thinking about my drinking life, i was an alcoholic when i first took the first sip at 14/15. It took me until 29 to get myself into rehab.
My advice is get to AA, talk to older sober members and they will look after you. AA and rehab has saved my life so far.
Hello, and welcome!! I struggled for many years with the same thoughts. In college and in my twenties, although i thought i was drinking too much,it was weird bc it seemed all my friends (and the world!) all drank like me.
But here’s the rub – if you feel like it’s a problem, then it is. Whether you drink everyday, every week, or every month, if you feel like it’s no good, then it isn’t.
For you to be questioning it is actually awesome! You’re growing, and you’re inner voice is saying, “hey, this isn’t good for us!” And you’re listening!! I ignored mine for years… made all types of excuses why i was “normal” and ok.
It sounds like yippy are drinking like the definition of an alcoholic. Don’t be scared, though, we’re all here for you! I think finding a meeting is a GREAT idea!! You’ll feel better afterward, i promise.
God for you for starting this journey to sobriety so early in your life!! Keep me posted, you got this!
Great advice, having a sober ig account has really helped me. Also, yes, sobriety is “in” right now, lol thanks Brad Pitt😉, so i bet it will be easier to find others that don’t drink by joining a club or something.
@Aggie, maybe try joining some clubs, groups, or even community activities that don’t involve alcohol. I know a lot of college students drink too much, but there are more than you’d think that don’t party constantly. If alcohol is making you not like yourself then it’s a problem for you. Does it really matter if you are a “true alcoholic” or not? I have found more often than not that alcoholism is in the eye of the beholder. If it’s negatively impacting your quality of life, then get some help and work your way back to happiness. <3
What’s your account on IG?
Whatnextlexi
Welcome @Aggie. I knew for sure I was a problem drinker before I was 21. No one can tell you if you have a problem or not. Only you can find that truth for yourself. The true experiment is trying to stop all together and you cant. Or trying to stop at just one and you crave more. I suggest reading some recovery books and journal about your own experiences with alcohol. I will tell you this…problem drinking or alcoholism doesn’t get any better. Be honest with yourself and you will know.
Its really hard. Im only 2 days sober and its hard. My friends are telling me stuff I did last week and I’ve been crying a lot.
The only times when I alowed myself to do stuff that people didnt like or didnt enjoy my company was when I blacked out and didnt remember anything. But now I remember everything, and I was being disgusting with people not even knowing how bad I was being. Ruining friendships and making a fool of myself
Yes, it is hard. At first. It does get easier over time. You’re going through the phase where you have to deal with the consequences. I promise you, all of us here have our own stories, shame, guilt, and regrets. Feeling everything without numbing is hard at first. Keep moving through these feelings. Apologize (to yourself) for your behavior once you aren’t in an emotional state. Then move on and focus on yourself and your sobriety. The way you are feeling now, and the thoughts going through your head won’t last forever. The thing that is worth the most is usually the hardest. Recovery and sobriety will be the best gift you ever give yourself. This pain won’t last as long as you walk through it sober. This pain will be looked at with news eyes while you are in recovery. I know it’s hard to make sense of it now, but you will in time. For now, get lots of rest and eat nutritious food. Your body is trying to heal. Cry and scream if you need to…just don’t drink, just for today. We are right here with you.
Dear Aggie, i believe that the disease has nothing to do with age but with being honest about your powerlessness about alcohol ( it takes over once you start the first) and the unmanageability of your life at this point ( the consequences of uncontrolable drinking). I know a lot of young people who are in recovery. In my country they go to NA as in the AA there are mostly “older” people and they feel more at ease with youngher people at NA ( at NA it doesn’t matter what drug of choice is yours).
I also drank since i was 14/15, " normal"… by the age of 17 i went to Univ and there started the " way down". I “managed” every year, but during exams my poisson was always close to my study books and me… it took me a long way and many years… now the blackouts opened my eyes to finally the point I could say " no more". If i pick up the first, change is very high that i do things i would never do when i’m sober: that’s the only thing i first think about if i could get tempted or have a craving. And in some way, it helped me trough the days of early sobriety ( almost 30). That, together with all these amazing people and stories over here… welcome, share if you feel lonely or get tempted or whenever you need us… big hug 
️ grtz 
I just clicked reset on the app. I feel real shitty about myself. I couldnt even stand 4 days sober. I cant believe that. I dont know if thats the time to tell my family to get help. At 21 years old its hard to make that decision
I’m so happy you said that. Yesterday a friend of mine told me that I was exagerating and that everybody go through those extremes and that was the age for this and that if I was feeling that now, I’m definetly not an alcoholic. She said that with such precision that I went to the bar and had to reset my account. I feel real bad about myself and the everyday thing happend. I did everything I wouldnt do, said things as if my body was posessed and I was awake on every part of it. As me and my behaviour distance I get more scared of this vicious cicle that wont stop torturing me everytime I think and get a sip of alcohol. Its sucks dude, I never felt so alone in my life
Hey! You are not alone, definitely not!!! We’re all here for you and understand! Don’t try to explain, you know it and go for sobriety! Not life on life terms sucks, but drinking does
Agree with @Turtle
You don’t need to explain yourself. Yes, you will have people that will tell you that you don’t have a problem. But YOU know what is right for you. Do this for yourself.
Totally understand what you’re going through. I drank since i was 12ish and now I’m 23. Went to college and drinking becomes a norm. This last couple years I have been drinking everyday and blacking out on the weekends. I wish I could go back in time to when I was 21 and start getting sober then. It only gets harder. You can be fun and interesting without being intoxicated, but because you drink so much and has become normal, it’s all you are used to. You have to restart your brain and learn to live sober.