I’m going on Day 1, after 25 years of binge drinking…after a a weekend I can hardly remember and my wife threatening to leave, after a Monday where I woke up and drank gin at 5:00 am, missing work in the process. My children witnessed most of this, and I’m terribly ashamed.
I tried AA earlier this summer, but it didn’t work for me. I respect them immensely, but the higher power talk didn’t resonate.
Last night, withdrawal kicked in, despite trying to taper off. Insomnia, anxiety, feeling of dread and a terrible itching all over my body. My hands are shaking now, and I know the symptoms will get worse tonight.
I’m terrified by what I’m doing to my family. I’m embarrassed to say that I’m terrified by no longer drinking. I know that must sound mad.
I want to beat my addiction. Any advice would be most welcomed.
It takes a little bit longer than just a few meetings to get it to work. Recovery is a lifelong journey no matter which program you choose. Have you considered going to rehab, doing outpatient, seeing an addiction specialist, going to SMART meetings, or any other type of program?
SMART takes a more scientific, psychological approach that may work better for you. I don’t buy into the higher power talk one bit either, but I still find going to AA to be really useful.
Welcome to this community and welcome to the sober you Crosby. Change is scary. Staying with the status quo is easier, even when you see you’re destroying yourself and your family. Change is work and change can be hard. Yet it’s harder to go down in a pool of gin and take your family with you. Congrats on 22 hours of sobriety. The beginning is the hardest. You have made a start. By quitting for 22 hours now and by coming here. If AA is not for you try SMART. You can do this if you work on it. And if you get the right help. Being here is a good start. Success.
Welcome Crosby. You’re in good company here. Lots of folks here have similar stories to yours. My advice? Read, post and join in the conversation. You CAN do this! It all starts with today. I have 9 days in after a slip up. I don’t intend on going back to the person I was. Some people here say you have to re-wire your brain and I believe that to be true. Some people say you’ll never crave alone. Which is also true. I prefer to say we ALL have your back. Best of luck on your journey. Reach out and don’t be a stranger. You GOT this!
Hi @HLCrosby welcome to the forum…as you are finding out the withdrawal part is crap! Your symptoms sound very familiar…hang in there and they will get better… drink plenty of water and try and eat some food…try and distract yourself, watch tv, read books anything…stick with it and this will pass…it took about 4 days for the worst to pass…look up smart meetings in your area… keep checking in on this app… loads of great people with good advice… you can do this and it will change your life for the better… just don’t pick up!
Welcome. I am just two days sober and I understand how overwhelming it can feel to think about life without booze… it’s quite awful really.
But they say the first step is to ask for help.
I think it’s brave that you made the choice to join the forum … even just talking to a stranger can help. Good luck
Hey bud, thanks for reaching out. We’re here for you. Im sorry that youre going through the withdrawal period and have been through the same.
Im familiar with the itching, no sleep, the terrible sense of impending doom, fearing bright lights, and loud noises.
Hang in there!
You may want to consider a detox and perhaps rehab after or AA.
Thanks
Cheers to everyone for your advice and support yesterday.
Last night was a living hell. My wife was angry. I had insomnia and only slept for 30 min or so. I had a fever and was drenched in perspiration for most of the night. The worst part was the constant itchiness all over my body and feeling like insects were crawling over me. I had hallucinations as well, though mostly sounds. Other than that, I’m exhausted, feeling down and can’t think straight.
I never heard of SMART, but will look into it. There’s another group called SOS that I’ll look into as well. I might try AA again. Will also look into finding a therapist.
I’m one day and eight or so hours sober. I hope that I can keep this up. I was really tempted in the middle of the night.
