My partner left for work and left some weed behind. He told me he would hide it or take it but he didn’t. I sat and thought about smoking and let the anxiety eat me up. I just grabbed it and threw it into the garden. I told him and I can’t have the temptation staring me in the face for the next 8 hours. I’m proud of myself. All the thoughts in my head were stabbing me saying everyone has a little slip up and if I only had one it would be ok and it would be easy to just have one. But I knew I was tricking myself and this is my last chance to do it right and I deserve better.
@Its_me_Stella thank you so much for your advice, I definitely use as a way to dissociate, and I will try some medication and breathe work! I’m glad I’m not alone
@Butterflymoonwoman I’ve done some stretching now but I am excited to start at the gym again. It’s always been a great relief and will be another way I can get out of the house
@Aussie_Tiger I’m trying to get there, but right now, I just need to get through the day
@19801 thank you so so much for helping to convince me to go to the meeting. I can feel it will truly be the best thing for me on my journey and I just needed that push
@Princessbabygirl Fair shout well done !!! Leave it out there ( I hope it rains ) You don’t need to thank me but I appreciate it . Something similar happened to me last night, I’m at my mums for the weekend (I have to be here because my daughter stays at the weekend I live in a bed sit with my own bathroom but not child appropriate) she’s been really good about putting her weed away but for the last week it’s stinking everytime I walk in and when I’m here also she’s leaving bits on my table that she never even skins up on WTF also it’s in other places around the house for me to see .she knows what she’s doing ! She also had a pop at me for enjoying and attending so many meetings… it’s pure resentment because I’m happy and healthy right now. I can see it all through sober eyes , I collected all the bits gave it to her and asked if she could not leave it about when I’m here ,this prompted a response of oh shut up will you it’s my fucking house …never mind shit happens people happen, still fucking sober …I let go of my negative feelings straight away and get on with whats making me happy in my sobriety and let my higher power deal with other people
Today has been hard, getting home from work and knowing I can’t smoke made me want to die. But I talked to my mum on the phone, had a shower, made a healthy dinner, ate some cookies and now I’m in bed very early but I feel drained. I want to cry. I’ve been feeling so proud but now I feel miserable and sorry for myself. I wish my meeting was sooner, Thursday feels so far away and I know I’ll feel better after. I have felt so annoyed at my partner and resentful when he smokes. I don’t want to feel this way. I will push myself more tomorrow but for today I’m giving myself some grace
Please forgive me for the question, I just read the whole thread. The addiction that you are trying to kick is weed, correct? I may have some stuff to tell about it hoping that you may reflect
Yes it is, but the silly thing is that it isn’t my drug of choice, I have been addicted to pain pills (preferably Xanax) but I would fill that hole and craving using anything I could get my hands on. But yes, it has been weed that has taken over my life using it as a substitute in its own way of that makes sense haha
Ok. First time I smoked was back in 2000 when I was 17. I have by the way been addicted to coke, alcohol, crystal mdma, ecstasy pills, pregabalin, adhd medications, benzos and even lsd which I abused like hell back in the day… Still in recovery. It all started with weed. In 2000, when I smoked it I said ‘‘I am going to do this for the rest of my life’’. I became a fan and defender of it. I was in love. After 2 years of constant use I became a very awkward person, very uneasy in social situations, very unlikely to use my talents, no hobbies left at all, very suspicious about people. Things like ‘‘Why did he say that, why did he look that way’’. I was very not satisfied with myself finding myself ugly especially when I was high, looking at the mirror for hours etc etc. Basically it turned me into this awkward creature from a very passionate and outgoing person. Anyone who says ‘‘chill dude, it’s just weed’’ really pisses me off even though majority of them are probably kids… Weed is bad, and will turn you into something that you won’t like or enjoy. So quitting it is a really good decision. Don’t believe anyone who advertise it or look like they enjoy it. Please leave that bullshit behind and don’t even look back. You are worth much better than this.
This sounds familiar. I have also smoked a lot for years and now that I’ve been without weed for 28 days, I feel already completely new person or should I say, I feel like me, not the stoner who was lost, paranoid, constantly anxious and couldn’t do anything without weed. Although everyone has their right to do anything they want, I find it terrifying that cannabis is legal in so many countries all over the world and it’s becoming a norm like alcohol. So fucked up. Weed should stay illegal because it can really messes one’s head for good, it’s really addictive and dangerous especially for young people whose brains are still developing.
Yes man. Me and all my smoking buddies grew psychological issues due to smoking almost everyday. If I was the only one I would have been having doubts about it, but we all became awkward. So I have proof…
Just WOW! Look at you and how amazing you are doing! Nobody said it would be easy Bella but its so worth it and you are worth it…i am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
Thank you all so much, I’ve been going to my meeting each week and now 11 days!! Today, I got a sponsor and Ive been listening to NA tapes on YouTube which has been amazing. I’m beginning to resent my partner for being able to smoke when I can’t and I want to so badly
Hi @Princessbabygirl 11 days is great your doing everything right for your recovery. I used to feel resentful or others but now I just feel either sad for them or “oh well they can I can’t fucks my life up” get away from it when he smokes and do something for you to relax , look into calming exercise or ways to get rid of stress without having to get shitfaced to achieve it . Write down what your life consisted of eleven days ago and what it’s like now you will be amazed how far you’ve come odaat …envy is a sin we shouldn’t carry especially drug envy wtf….you’ve still got this girlxxx
I had this but at the end of the day that was her choice and this is mine. Now she doesn’t smoke either bc she had no one to smoke with. That gift of sobriety has been passed on.
…never mind shit happens people happen, still fucking sober …I let go of my negative feelings straight away and get on with whats making me happy in my sobriety and let my higher power deal with other people 
etc etc. Basically it turned me into this awkward creature from a very passionate and outgoing person. Anyone who says ‘‘chill dude, it’s just weed’’ really pisses me off even though majority of them are probably kids… Weed is bad, and will turn you into something that you won’t like or enjoy. So quitting it is a really good decision. Don’t believe anyone who advertise it or look like they enjoy it. Please leave that bullshit behind and don’t even look back. You are worth much better than this.
especially drug envy wtf….you’ve still got this girlxxx