270 days clean...and I DROPPED the ball

It was my first time in rehab, I’m 36…I started smoking meth at 30! Smh…i have 2 beautiful, intelligent kids, boy and a girl 11 and 9 now…I had a nasty break up with their mother…ended up in the streets after bouncing from couch to couch…that’s when I started using. I had given up on life. My sister found me in the streets last December and took me to grandview in Pasadena. It was the best thing that happened to me. I was new to the rehab, recovery game ya know, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought I was gonna get locked in room for months get water boarded and shit lol sorry for that…but um, I received TREAMENT, had therapy sessions, daily groups consisting of criminal and addictive thinking, healthy relationships, anger management, life coping skills, relapse prevention, dialectical thinking/behavioral studies…I gained a lot of insight and understanding of myself…I became a star pupil. I attended more groups than I was assigned just soaking up all that I can. I completed 90 days, the staff were very proud of me and my refinement. They gave me the option to live in their RBH which I excepted. My 1st day out of residential I got a job! Lol grandview staff said that was a record lol I put EVERY paycheck in the grandview safe, I saved ALOT lol i attended the outpatient groups with same diligence as residential. They required 2 a week, I went to EVERY group they had listed. I completed the 90 days in RBH but JUST before doing so the grandview director purchase property to offer a sober living. She said I was the first to come mind in the hand picking of tenants. I was doing great! Lol I got a better job working Van’s distribution center…50% ALL inventory! They’re under the same umbrella as northface and timberland!? Come on now, I WAS ON!! LOL but sadly I was too on…the job was a warehouse job😬, working nights😬 AND in my old using stomping grounds😬…I did great for a while until 2 weeks ago…smh. started hanging out with coworkers, talking to lovely females that work there. I started feeling myself…started to mess around with females, then slowly accepted smoking weed due to the fact that I was doing SO good in grandview they didn’t test me in the sober living house. After blazing and messing with this one female I drop her off and where did she live? RIGHT next to my old dope man…his light was on…then I was on…I didn’t/dont understand stand why I made these series if choices. After week of getting LIT, I had to come clean with grandview. They gave me 2 choices…LEAVE or return to residential…I told them NO residential I just a great job and blah blah blah…but i made the choice this morning before this LONG ASS POST lol I’m sorry lol I will be returning to residential. I am not defeated, I did not fail, I will not hang me head…for it being my first attempt at recovery I’d say alot was accomplished BUT there’s still so far to go…thanks for letting me share
I love all yall

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Hey man, you made the right choice.

You played with a little fire, but going back and coming clean, and making the choice to go back to residential may have stopped that flame from becoming a forest fire and burning all the good work you’ve done to the ground.

To me, that’s the sign of recovering. Of getting better.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I’m proud of you. Running and gunning come natural and easy, swallowing the pride and getting right takes a lot of moxy.

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Great share buddy!
Like David says, takes a lot of guts to step up!
Learn from this. Don’t mess about with anything outside of getting yourself clean.
270 days is a good run, but obviously you weren’t ready for the social life, not enough had changed man!
Forever forward!

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This slip was only to remind you of what you wer beginning to forget.
Residential will refresh everything you had stored and you will be right back on track.
stories like this help everyone remember exactly why we are on this journey.
Thank you for being honest.
Good luck in your future journey of recovery.

Stay strong :dizzy:

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You made the right choice going back to residential for sure. And I am sure you learned a lot that will help you again this time around.

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And don’t worry about the ladies right now; they’ll be there when you’re stronger.:see_no_evil:

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You did not fail, it was a minor blip in the face of overwhelming temptation. Pick yourself up and resume your sobriety journey. You have done incredibly well so far. I’m on day 102 and it’s my longest streak in I think 6 attempts so max respect to you

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This was a great share!!! This post here shows how strong you are. It also shows u have courage and you care about others.
Thank u for reaching out to me.
“Inspiration” :pray::100:
These posts are getting me very emotional… This ish is real life!

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Good on you what was the alternative think real hard, hell was the alternative, death, homelessness, lonekyness, your a trooper keep on trouping, and uno what you don’t need to do nxt time wow man you should be proud of yourself.

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