28 days sober! 4 weeks!! Feeling good. Great even! I’ve started exercising again and eating better. Sleep is so restorative now. Awesome 
But where have these old (and mostly unpleasant) memories popped up from ?! The last few days have been filled with them, having not experienced this in the first few weeks at all. They seemingly pop up from nowhere or through the most tenuous connection. And the accompanying emotions are just as strong as they were then. But we’re talking stuff that happened YEARS ago. Not awful stuff, but stuff that caused upset, embarrassment or jealousy - and now I’m feeling it afresh! I’ve felt overwhelmed with emotion a couple of times. Is this normal? X
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I went through this. It was intense. Even at night the dreams were so vivid and crazy. Our brain is healing so it’s normal for us to experience these things! 
congrats by the way! 28 days is awesome!
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Thank you for the reply. That’s reassuring. And yes - very vivid, weird dreams too. It feels like a lot as there’s the day-to-day emotions of today to deal with and now this unexpected backlog too 
X
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Lol yeah you get to a point where you just want to tell your brain: “can you relax?! I already have my plate of emotions full!”
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Yep. I go through this. I try my best not to dwell in the past since there’s nothing I can do about it….but I also try to just let them exist. A lot of my drinking happened in an attempt to push those bad feelings down so I know I can’t do that anymore. So yeah, a tricky balance of letting them exist but not let them overwhelm me. 
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Its like opening up your brains mailbox after being sober and letters just fly out like a storm lol
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Im 35 days clean and sober. Night is the worst for me can’t seem to sleep without vivid dreams. Also having to deal with issues I’ve buried for so long by using. Therapy has been a great help.
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Day 37. I’m exactly the same. The memories, intense emotions, crazy ass vivid dreams. I chalk it up to not fully processing all the bullshit when it happened. Numbing with booze for years NOT count as processing lol. It’s rough, but it’s gotta happen sooner or later. Better now than never followed by an early grave.
Thanks for posting this topic! I’ve been feeling this way the last couple weeks, but didn’t think to voice it.
Hang in there! We’re doing this together, not alone! We got this! 
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Im back again after a relapse following 75 days clean. Im at 18 days again after my worst spell yet, it lasted about 5 months. The first month clean is always rough, having to face all the embarrassments of your behavior, soberly facing the ruin you’ve wrought for yourself at its peak and the daunting prospect of building it back. No more escape, only stoney responsibility, and if youre lucky, hope for what lay ahead. Are your memories about alcoholism or just general bad memories? In either case, our eyes have to adjust to the loss of the lense alcohol, so to speak. I have a really hard time with this myself. Meditation helps. Truly clearing your mind can be a reprieve, and it can help immensely with getting to sleep if you can sustain it. It may still be avoidance of a sort, but when it gets too much to handle, i dont think theres anything wrong with it.
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Yes, i go through this. Its weird because its not even like i would drink to forget those memories. As you say, its stuff from years back that just pops into the forefront of my mind for seemingly no reason.
I imagine it is the addiction trying to weedle its way into getting me to drink again.
It often wins against me, sadly.
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but this hits the nail on the head for one of my issues with AA.
It is very restrospective (hi there step 4!) And there are some things that can no longer be taken back, that no one wants to be reminded about to forgive and that would be impossible to make amends for, and the retrospective nature of AA had me focusing on these horrible events from my past surrounded by people with zero psychological training and it just destroys me.
My catastrophising and self blaming nature means I end up blaming myself for events that i objectively know i have no blame in, like the abuse i recieved as a child.
Im sure AA fans will read this and tell me i was doing it wrong, but ive been in and out of the rooms a bit, with different sponsors and groups, and always the same.
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Exactly this ! 
X
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Hi @MajorPayne Yes completely relate to the vivid dreams. It’s intense. Congratulations on your 35 days ! 
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Hi @GenG ! It’s so reassuring to know I’m not alone, and that others can relate. I agree - I did wonder if it was down to not processing feelings properly at the time. Congratulations on your 37 days X
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Hi @reedni94 Welcome back, and back on it 
The memories aren’t alcohol related but are from when I started drinking more heavily I think.
Thank you for the advice. I’ll look in to mediation, it’s not something I’ve tried before. Whilst my dreams are vivid, sleep has been a blessing X
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Hi @Kipper thank you for your response and insights. I don’t have any experience with AA [yet]. I haven’t ruled it out but read your own experiences with interest. Thank you X
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These are just my views on AA of course, id still fully recommend anyone give it a try as it works for a lot of people!
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Thank you! This was my first post since i quit again, ive been struggling with feeling like i have anything to contribute.
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Well thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate it immensely.
I think everyone can make valuable contributions, whether it’s day 1 or 1000. ‘Starting again’ gives you another level of wisdom and experience you’re able to share X
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I used the 12 step program to combat these memories my sponsor took me through the program and today i have no regrets about my past ,i sponsor and have been for over 35 years and for me AA works if you want it i have sponsor guys who are over 25 years sober now . so maybe give a meeting a try wish you well.
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Hi @Ray_M_C_Laren Thank you for taking time to reply and for sharing your experience with AA. What an inspiration X
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