2nd day detoxing and asking for advice

Advice & Questions
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Hello community!

My name is Josh. This is the first time in my recovery where I am trying something new that I didn’t try in the past.

I have been on the road to sobriety for about the last 10 years. I have been able to successfully go a little over a year without any using. My drug of choice is pills. I currently live in Indonesia where the only opioid that I can get is codeine or Tramadol. I have lived now in Indonesia for the past five years.

My father passed away about a month-and-a-half ago here and it caused me to go into a really big relapse. Since his death I have taken anywhere from 10 to 40 pills a day of anything that I can get my hands on. It is very easy here to go and buy codeine or Tramadol over the counter without a prescription from a doctor.

I have also been drinking kratom for about the last three years for anxiety/sleep.

Right now I am in a place of wanting to stop taking the pain medicine because I know that it changes my personality my morals and my values. I want really badly to get past my year milestone :weary: but I know I need to make some changes in how I treat my recovery.

I currently meditate and do breathework every morning, am very active and eat healthy.

My plan was to continue to move through the withdrawl from the pain medicine while still using the kratom to help subdue the side effects. After about 10 days I would then do a taper off the kratom.

I feel that I will always need something to help me such as anxiety medicine or sleep medicine as I have been diagnosed previously.

My personal view on my recovery journey is measured by taking and abusing the pain medicine. I know this will always be a challenge for me, especially right while I am still dealing with my father’s death.

I am very lucky that my mom lives here in Bali with me and I have her full support in regards to my recovery. I also am engaged to someone; we have been together for about 2.5 years and I want to be healthy not just for myself but also for the people in my life that love and care for me.

I found access to this community Through the app available on Google Play and I thought that it might be a good idea for me to try something new and reach out for support from others in a way I haven’t in the past.

I would be forever grateful for any support words of encouragement suggestions of remedies to help with withdrawal or even connecting with others that have a story similar to mine. Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to support a complete stranger who’s just looking to be a better version of themselves and they were the day before!

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Welcome Josh, and you came to a good place. As you know recovery takes work but it sounds like you know where you don’t have to, or want to be anymore. Sorry your Pops is gone, lost mine many years
ago too but it’s still a loss that hurts. Glad you have your mom close.

Your plan of opiate detox & kratom taper is a plan, can you stck to it and cut out the kratom? What anxiety & sleeping pills? Xanax or other benzos? All tough stuff for sure. Booze in the mix also?

Your in the land of easy to get… i spent time in Thailand, 90 days each in the late 90s. Could score anything for sure, but I’m a drunk.

You can do this if you truly are done using. You had good time before and definitely can go longer, but I think having more support in your journey will help. Meetings, helping others with our disease. Getting out of you and into doing selfless things for others helps. Hugs man, see you around!

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You so much for taking the time to respond to my post. This really made my heart smile from the inside out! I am definitely feeling more inspired than ever this time around and I am reminded to ask myself the question about what is different this time? I believe in myself and I know my capabilities from having overcome some really hard obstacles in my past. I am so proud of myself for what I have in my life today because of good decisions that were made. It’s really nice just to be able to have support in this way especially from someone who doesn’t know you so thank you for giving me that support

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This worked for me and many of us here, and i hope it can work for you too.
Im sorry to hear about your father, im thinking if you during this difficult time
Im glad you found us.
Im not sure what medical care is like over there but it is possible for you to get help that way too.

And meetings, there are so many on line.
Theres an app called ‘in the rooms’ thats good, it has many meetings on zoom for many different substances.

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