4 years ago I got my first DUI after leaving a bartending shift and being pull over for an expired registration. Now two nights ago I was pulled over for speeding after having wine at a birthday dinner, and I refused the field sobriety and breathalyzer test because I was so nervous I was hyperventilating.
The lawyer that I’ve spoken to so far mentioned possible jail time and I’ve been spiraling mentally ever since. I work full time as a manager at a large company, I have a daughter and I’m the “bread winner” of the household. I cannot go to jail. I can’t even breathe just thinking about it. If I lose my job we’ll lose everything. We can’t afford the lawyer, the classes, the blow and go, etc.
Every morning I wake up I’m consumed by fear and anxiety. How do you go on? I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now and I’m in such a dark place. How am I supposed to get up every day and pretend like my whole life isn’t falling apart?
Im so sorry your experiencing the negatives of addiction but you made a good step by coming here. This is an awesome forum full of caring people trying to beat addictions.
As far as the dui, id start going to aa and getting proof to show the judge you are serious about turning your life around
Welcome and I agree with Cjp there are a lot of supportive and caring people here and yes I would start attending multiple AA meetings and you can get a sheet of paper that you can get signed at every meeting the best thing you can doi show the judge that you are serious about getting sober not just saying it
Hi I am in same boat with same looming things on horizon I talk to people and I have great fears worry anxiety depression. I am trying to pray honestly and I tell people God has got my attention in past with small hammer then regular hammer and this time a sledge hammer. All I can do is breathe talk to people I trust and try and surrender my will and fate to God. That’s all I can do for now to give up the control to God and what happens to me is all a lesson test etc that he wants me to learn but I beg so much for mercy. Oh and believe it or not even with all the fears the worry etc we have stopped spiraling. Just have to face the consequences now and yes inside I’m a mess and am trying minute by minute.
Um, tough stuff for sure and sorry you’re having to deal with it all. Do you think your drinking is a problem? Would you say you’re an alcoholic?
If so, there’s hope and it starts with being 100% honest with yourself and everyone else.
Tell the judge that too, if it’s what you think and be ready to ask for help. Or, you can keep doing the same ol and it’s highly likely you’ll get the same ol.
I didn’t used to think I had a problem because “oh it’s only on occasion”, but clearly it has brought more negativity in my life than positivity. It’s was the alcohol and my poor decisions that landed me here.
You can’t change the past it’s been and gne this could be the start of a new journey use this to never put a drink against your lips again and your life will work itself out odaat I promise you that prayers on your journey
Best thing you can do is quit drinking now. Right now. The past is the past, but when you go in front of a judge or whoever - you want to be able to show change. And it has to start now, and it has to be real. Desperation can be a real motivator, I know.
Be humble and show evidence of real change and I would bet you have good chances of avoiding jail. Oh, also get a lawyer.
I couldn’t stop on my own. I sucked it up and went to AA. I really enjoy it now. Havent had a beer in a year and a half.
I feel for you. Things spiral from just slightly out of our control to a point where its like watching a bad movie. You can and will overcome this, but what will you do next?
No thankfully no other cars were involved and I wasn’t swerving or anything like that. The officer pulled me over because he says I was going 86 in a 55, which I disagreed with because I was not speeding and I never speed, and he didn’t catch it on radar.
Anxiety never helped nobody. It’s also a biological reaction of your body. I say go see your doctor to give you some meds to begin with.
Once you’re calmer, you can function more effectively, thinking of solutions.
I’m really sorry for this situation, alcohol is a terrible, socially not only accepted but glamorized drug. The good thing is you realized it.
I’m not sure about the legal stuff but can you try look up some free legal clinics? Or some other type of free lebal advice? To hell, I’m not even sure it’d help or how realistic it is to get free representation so just ignore me if my advice is stupid.
This could be your “inciting incident” as I like to call it as a writer You can use it to move forward. It’s not going to be easy and you may relapse etc etc. Life sucks quite often as it’s been pointed out to me today and we just need to deal with this shit.
I’m here to talk if you want DM me.
You got this! The fact that you’re the bread winner is not only immense pressure but also a strength AF!
Every night that you go to bed sober, you can be grateful for that one fact - that you got the help you needed that day to stay sober.
Every morning you wake up sober, you can ask for help to stay sober, to be shown what to do and to have the strength to do it.
Everything, as in everything, starts with staying sober for the span of one day. It is my firm belief that from that foundation, all else will be tolerable, it will be okay.
When I got sober, it was due to a DUI arrest. There were days when I panicked about my job and my freedom and my marriage and my standing as a dad. I would call my AA sponsor and he would ask “Did you drink today?”, and I would reply “No”, and he would say "Then today is a good day ". And he was right.
Whether your situation changes or not, whether you go to jail or not, I can tell you that everything is gonna be alright. These same consequences happened to me and I stayed sober. And so far, every little thing is still alright.
You can use it to move forward. It’s not going to be easy and you may relapse etc etc. Life sucks quite often as it’s been pointed out to me today and we just need to deal with this shit.