Hi everyone, I just started the 30 day alcohol experiment from the naked mind and today is day 2. I’m not going to lie I had so many cravings and ended taking 3 shots to ease my anxiety only to regret it later. I wasn’t drunk or anything since my tolerance is pretty high so I was mad at myself that I gave in and drank and not even experiencing a buzz. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself because people often slip. I’m picking up where I left off and taking day 2 one hour at a time day by day. I’m struggling but I’m keeping the faith that one day I won’t have any more cravings or the desire to drink. This community has been a real support.
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For me the anxiety levels I had that I tried to numb with alcohol, was just anxiety from alcohol. I still have anxiety, but it is completely manageable now that I quit drinking. I can be in uncomfortable places and have difficult conversations without shutting down or needing a drink. Idon’t remember the time frame and life was rocky when I stopped drinking, still is rocky, but the anxiety faded. It certainly went up after quitting, but it did get reduced to what’s probably a normal level.
Cravings were way up at the beginning, but also reduced over time. High stress made me want to drink, but I knew it would make everything worse. I’ll get moderate desire for a few minutes like heading home from a job tired and sore, but I don’t forget the hell that drinking brings and what it caused in my life, so the desire can fizzles out pretty quick.
If you get a written list on why you don’t want to drink, that can be a helpful reminder when you’re in a bad place and thinking about drinking again. It’s not easy quitting but it’s worth it, just keep trying and remember why you’re choosing to not drink.
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Be patient with yourself how I see it we built our addiction up over many years so to expect big things early days isn’t attainable, but what is at reach is building a strong foundation, reaching out on here and if you can find a community based support network, lots of rest lots of fluids, when feeling anxious try to go with it instead of fighting it away BC for me personally that makes it worse, and exercise and a good sleep pattern if possible, keeping a journal is also great to see progress, all the best for your journey. 
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I did the experiment too. As the days progress, u will learn more about alcohol and what it does to u, and the lies society tells about it. Hopefully u won’t want to drink once u understand that.
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Thank you. It’s crazy I’ve never had anxiety before until I started drinking heavy during Covid. I thought it was from covid but maybe it was from my excessive drinking. I just made a list tonight of why I want to stop and of course I have a million reasons yet I still feel powerless. I’m always asking myself what’s wrong with me? I just want to get through the 30 days successfully and go from there yet I still find myself keep saying day 1 everyday and it’s getting old but so hard
I use to be at the gym 5 days a week and I realized since I picked up drinking last year my passion died. I feel like all my passions died and all I wanna do is sleep and do nothing. Everything I do feels like a chore instead of enjoyment and I was never like this. I just want to be in control again because right now the state I’m in I feel like it’s controlling me
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I just keep finding myself resetting it and keep starting day 1 all over again and it’s so frustrating. I Wake thinking I got this then mid day stress life relationship work kids then I just want to numb myself
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Don’t beat yaself up that’s part and parcel of getting well, I read something lastnight it said mosy ppl think to motivate there self the thought comes first then the action but when we’re feeling like we do with no energy put the actions first then comes the motivation… I remember going swimming last week for the first time after suffering in bed for 2 weeks prior to that my aniexty so bad I thought I’d fucked myself up truly not just in body but in mind aswell, buttttti forced my self to go there the actions I did that a few more times now I’m getting motivated and it’s become easier. My motto is don’t think do/!!! When it comes to recovery. Keep going your get there, unfortunately if you keep resetting your gona be stuck in limbo and it only gets harder.
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I try not to beat myself up I just sound like a broken record. It shouldn’t be this hard but some strange reason it is. I love the initial buzz yet I feel like crap afterwards and I hate the after feeling. My day is wasted because I’m sleeping it off. That’s not an enjoyable life at all. You’re absolutely right keep starting over is also not good and that’s why I feel so stuck right now. Thank you so much for your honesty
I think in the Annie Grace one, it is ok to keep drinking. I mean, ideal to stop, but if u progress thru the days, you will hear more information that might make u want to stop. If u want accountability, why not record on this thread how many days u are af.
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The thing is the buzz is from RISING alcohol levels. So you once u have one, if u stop u will get the down of falling alcohol levels. To avoid that u drink more. But the more u drink the bigger the crash. It takes much longer for levels to fall than rise. And of course, u can’t keep rising alcohol levels, u will black out or potentially alcohol poison urself. Once u truly realise a 20 minute buzz INEVITABLY leads to a much longer crash, that buzz seems less appealing. There is NO happy end when u drink, chemically speaking.
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I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve a very high tolerance level & one, two, even three drinks isn’t even enough for me to feel the effects. I’m on day 23, this is the longest I’ve been sober since June 2016. The cravings haven’t stopped but they are not as bad. There have been days where I barely thought about drink & other days I couldn’t stop thinking about it but I come on here when I feel like that. My anxiety level has dropped & my energy level has increased. I’m spending a lot less time in bed as I don’t have to sleep off a hangover. I haven’t been very sociable but I have been out doing things with my son, doing a bit of much needed spring cleaning lol, reading and getting into crafts etc… Just keep working at it. You’ll get there 
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It’s great to have big goals, but when dealing with addictions you need to take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if needed. I want to stay sober for the rest of my life, the only way I can do that is if I choose to stay sober every day, one day at a time. If I want to stay sober for the rest of my life and look at it as a whole, I don’t know how much time I’ve got left, the goal is unclear and overwhelming.
The stress is amplified by drinking, I thought I needed alcohol to manage my stress that I thought was coming from work, kids and my marriage but it was all from alcohol. I didn’t manage the stress either, I’d just numb my mind and wouldn’t be able to handle life’s small regular issues. The problems were still there in the morning, and the little issues added up because I wasn’t dealing with them so it became overwhelming, so the desire to drink got stronger.
The stress from quitting will seem overwhelming and the addict part of your brain will try to convince you that you need to drink, but you don’t need to drink to handle life, it’s a lot easier sober.
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Thank you so much, now I’m convinced my anxiety is from my drinking. Im trying to deal with it as best I can. I really appreciate your feedback. When you decided to quit did you relapse? I’m finding it so hard lately do anything.
Thank you, I’m now reading the naked mind and so far it’s so good. Yea my tolerance is so high it’s crazy but it was never this high until last year. I need to find a hobby to stay focus it’s just hard because I feel like I have zero interest to do anything except drink. What makes someone an alcoholic? I haven’t yet called myself that I just say my drinking is getting out of control. Many people have different meaning of alcoholics. Can one have a drinking problem without being labeled an alcoholic?
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When I tried to quit from 2018-2021 I could only go a few days, longest was I think three weeks. I wasn’t trying AA as I couldn’t fit it in my schedule and couldn’t miss work, and I was too uneasy to post here and be active, I just read. I didn’t make any changes in my life and it seemed like me trying to get sober was making everyone’s life harder, and I didn’t have a support group or much support at all(from my point of view). I should have quit my job working overnights 4pm-3/6am but I was too scared about not being able to make enough money to provide for a family of 5 on one income and the job I was at was steady year round. The burnout and stress from that increased the drinking a little but more behavior, I was a grumpy bitch. April 2020 I think I got on a weekend maintenance spot Friday through Sunday 6am-630pm, it brought in enough money along with side work and tree stuff. The grumpy bitch personality didn’t go away because I was still miserable from drinking every night. Winters sucked because we have a wood burning stove and next to no insulation, so I had to run the fire nearly constantly when I was home to keep the house warm enough for small children. Anyways from all my bull honkey, my wife had enough and left with the kids April 2021. She spoke mostly out of anger when she was leaving and moved in with her guy friend who has been close with her. My mind went to infidelity due to the heated speech, living location and hostility. Tried to make a permanent decision but for some reason it wasn’t loaded, it was supposed to be loaded, it always was. Major depression masked a lot of the withdrawals I think and having the choice of maybe see your kids or never see them I was finally able to break the cycle.
Making progress now, very slow progress but she’s kind of forgiving me for filing, and kind of forgiving me for not being able to quit. Not like a pity forgiveness, shes somewhat starting to see I am addicted. 86 days sober today, the thought of alcohol is terrible 99% of the time and the smell brings rushing memories of all the terrible things from the last 92 days and I almost vomit.
With that novel, if you can quit before there’s a major mess in your life, you don’t need to clean it up!
Cravings are carvings. I haven’t had a drink in 2 years and I still have cravings. It’s just a matter of how you cope with them and not giving in.
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Yes I’ve been experiencing strong cravings when I’m trying to sober up. It’s just been hell for me. I sometimes feel like I can’t fight it anymore and that it’s taking over my life. I’m trying to stay strong but sometimes it’s so hard. Please send help 
I think this is why there is a move away from problem drinkers vs alcoholics, to an ‘alcohol abuse’ scale. Maybe u can be a problem drinker and not an alcoholic. But in the end, what helps an alcoholic will help a problem drinker too.