So my boyfriend is having some people over for gaming and since i stopped drinking i dont like being around people much. I feel social situations remind me of drinking. Im choosing to stay in the bedroom and watch movies but part of me wants to break down and cry that I no longer know how to be social without alcohol and feeling sorry for myself. Some days im great but today im triggered and anxious and feel like a nut case. Help?
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That’s tough are you naturally an introvert?
I used to be the life of the party but sober not so much
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You still are the life of the party. You just don’t realize it yet. That’s how I was at first too. I was so concerned with what people were thinking of me that i isolated. After a month or 2 it started to get better. I started to accept that I can’t do anything about my past when I drank. And my sponser told me a great think… “It’s none of your fucking business what other people think of you!”
For some silly reason, that helped me with my acceptance. All we can do is be better today and hopefully tomorrow.
I slowly started to come out of my hole. I slowly began to realize that I am still a funny mother fucker without the booze. And dare I say it, people still like me without the booze. I am still the life of the party without the booze. I just had to stop living in the past to see it. To feel it.
Hope this helped some😊
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My first sober party, i hosted a bbq with my friends and had a blast. I was also worried about a bunch of things that never actually caused any problem. The worst thing that happened was we spilled my NA mojito everywhere because we didnt know what we were doing when we made it lol.
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Ha! Over never even made a real Mojito. So I’d prolly fail at a NA one too. Lol
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That’s why i stick to the La Croix now lol
You should just hangout because if you keep hiding from people it will only get worse and remember if everyone is drinking you’re the most realest one there, the sober one someone that doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time so good luck and keep staying on the right path because it’s worth it Peace.
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It gets better trust me. I’m always the designated driver for my drunk friends now lol. We still have fun but it took me a while to get there. Good luck.
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I am 32 days sober as well! I want to get wasted, my husband still drinks whenever, everyone i know drinks. I just ate half a bag of popcorn and 7 chocolate chip cookies bc I was extremely pissed off for no reason 30 minutes ago! You can do this! It’s ok to cry, it is hard.
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Yes, congrats on getting your 30 days my dear! You are in rarified, air. Many don’t make it this far so please, hang tough. Consider attending an AA meeting if you haven’t already done so. Let the others get hammered and have to deal with the hangovers the next day. Just think how good you’ll feel right?
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I’m sorry I didn’t get back last night. Okay im going to just say how I approached it early for me. I did do a bit of isolation for the first couple of months, I have zero regrets over it. But in time (after you gain sober muscles) you need to live life. I’m not saying go hang out at the bar every night but join the world. Find something recovery related from time to time. I’m going to say something harsh but I’m just going from personal experience. I’m guessing why you are thinking you need to hide is shame? Guess what you don’t have to carry that forever. I use to like a security blanket but not this time!! This time I’m owning my sobriety. I sure do not to push you to early but it seems it was/is a controlled setting this time. Just love yourself enough to stay focused on your self healing.
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I’d like to suggest finding some sober social activities like a sports club, volleyball league, meetup group for something you enjoy etc. If everyone is sober you are not going to be triggered. It will let you get used to socialising without the booze. I am sure you slowly get back to your old self and have fun with people.
Later when you feel stronger you will be able to do the same at events where others are drinking. Only you will be able to take a guess at when you feel ready.
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This is great 
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So i made it through the night, I guess the reason I isolate is because im delressed. I have no clue what Iike to do for fun. Im 30 and drank all of twenties for fun. Im just lost sober. I dont know what to do with myself. I honestly hate AA its so depressing and im agnostic. I kbow hiding in my house isnt the answer but i cant even think of one thing i want to do for fun well at least that doesnt involve shopping etc lol. Uhh
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Glad you made it!
If you don’t know what you enjoy then you get the chance to try things out. Try something new. Don’t like it? Try something else. By trying things over the years I have found about 20 things I would LOVE to have time for. In actual practice I get to do 2 of my hobbies every week and the others only once in a while.
Like @Oliverjava try to connect to something you already enjoy. If you like shopping then maybe try farmers markets or local vendor festivals.
If you are missing the thrill of getting high - let’s face it some of us drank to get high - then try to do something that gives you a thrill: rock climbing, ski doos, dirt bikes, waterslides, bunji jumping, go to the lake and jump off a cliff (in a safe spot obviously), whatever you feel like … Someone here does roller derby and another jumped out of a plane. For me this was a big turning point. I realised I am a bit of a thrill seeker and if my life was boring I would be depressed and more likely to reach for the bottle. I need some fun and it is my job to make sure my life is fun enough.
PS. I would disagree that AA is depressing - except maybe the quality of coffee and cookies at most meetings. If I go I bring my own coffee. It’s tends to be a place that’s real and calming. I wouldn’t make it my main source of entertainment though.
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Well said everyone, applause all around!
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I bought myself a mindful colouring book and coloured pencils. It’s very calming just colouring in a butterfly or a random pattern. I’m an only child so used to being on my own but after a year sober I got a cat. Whenever I have a bad day playing with him or having a cuddle makes me feel better. Yoga classes are also great. Social, calming and makes you feel good.
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This made me laugh. Out loud. Ty
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I can completely relate to this post! I’m 30 years old, and like yourself was the life and soul of the party. I will be sober 30 days tomorrow also! I’m kind of going through the same emotions and anxiety as yourself it seems. I feel like I cant be myself around my friends sober! I suppose all we can do is ride it out and not pick up that first drink?