A few months ago, I had an old high school friend pass away from liver failure due to drinking. It completely floored me that someone could go through their liver that fast. Dead at 35 years old.
I started to question my own use of alcohol and even tried to quit drinking for a month.
I couldn’t hide it, however, I’m a binge drinking alcoholic. I don’t need to drink everyday, or even every week, but when I drink, I drink a lot. I’m 36 now, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been partying with drinking since I was 16. Finishing an entire case of beer or seltzer, and maybe sprinkling some liquor in between on weekends. It’s pretty bad.
Last weekend it really took a toll. I had too much to drink at a family event and said things I didn’t mean to various people I care about. I’ve ruined relationships and am absolutely disgusted with myself. It’s been getting progressively worse as time goes on and I haven’t even realized it.
I know it’s a tall task to say “I won’t drink again”, but I’m done for good. It’s time to put it away and focus on repairing relationships and myself. Upon reflection, it absolutely amazes me how much power a beer or drink can have over someone emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
I love the sense of community here. I do think we all need to work beyond this and get to AA. I don’t think anyone wants to end up my like friend Joe.
Glad having you here with us Greg. You’re in the right place and you’ll find a lot of support and wisdom here.
Like-minded people who know what you’re going through. Take your time to read through the threads and pick up what you need. This forum did a lot for me. So just take it one day at a time and start fighting for yourself. We will be here with you.
Sounds like you know what you want and that’s a first step You can do it. There’s lots of learning and lots of wisdom here - plus great cat photos - so stick around and make yourself at home!
Welcome to Talking Sober, Greg! Your observation is very powerful. So many of us lived in that progression and maybe did not realize it or justified it or denied it. I probably did all three at one point or another. You reminded me that at one time, I identified as a binge drinker (not an alcoholic, mind you, or even a problem drinker). I did have a moment of clarity when I saw the binges coming closer together, once a week, twice a week, then every other day. The powerful thing about my particular thought disorder that is alcoholism is that I was able to just kind of accept when I slid into drinking every day, or at least 12 days out of 14, and somehow still minimize it, since the “binges” or getting out of control drunk were not happening every single time I drank. The mind, it is a funny thing, and thinking patterns and attitudes were the things that changed most for me when I took sobriety seriously.
It seems you have a plan and motivation, and in my experience, those things pair well. Blessings on your house as you begin your journey.
Welcome. The most successful stories here begin with folks just like you who started with small changes to their lifestyle. It helps to not think of it as a “for the rest of my life” kind of thing, since that is obviously quite a daunting notion to most. I invite you to consider it more of a “just for today” or “let me just get through this weekend” type of program. A bunch of small bites add up to larger and larger victories. It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things but don’t let your guard down. Alcohol is a sneaky bitch. Build that foundation with a bunch of One Day At A Times and you’ll be alright. As for the family and your hurtful words, it happened… it sucks. But you can’t take it back. Give it some time and you’ll figure out the right words to say to attempt to make amends. Good luck, amigo.
and that’s a first step 
You can do it. There’s lots of learning and lots of wisdom here - plus great cat photos 
- so stick around and make yourself at home!
as you begin your journey.