Hi,
Im 37, im married to my outstanding wife and we have two pups. I have two siblings & my folks are divorced. My mother married another alcoholic. My dad continues to call me drunk on the phone & has no rememberance of the convo. He still has the couch in his livingroom where he molested my best friend for years. We drank heavily back when I was 12-years-old. It was a manipulation tactic he used to cover up the sex abuse happening in the home. Addiction soread like wildfire in the family. Everyone had their own secrets. We all knew it, just never talked about it until finally i was moved out & my best friend was in prison for selling at age 20 & finally broke free from my father’s hands. I watched something I cannot unsee that happened to her that was the absolute worst thing I could ever see. Keep fast forwarding & the trauma never stopped. Seeing my brother in the ICU numerous times for alcohol related illnesses. And, keep fast fowarding & my life fell apart over a year ago when i believed the therapist I was seeing wanted to me my friend. Long story short, he sexually groomed me like my father did to my friend. While that was happening, a dude rubbed up against me at work. My therapist showed me things I cannot unsee & I have been a diagnosed PTSD patient for 19 years. I have had night terrors since I was 17 after I was sexually assaulted by a 28 year old man who I slightly remember forcing toothpaste in my mouth then his dick. Sometimes i abruptly wake up now because I am feeling nauseous about my ex therapist dick picture he showed me. Last year, i started drinking… just a little, then more, and now i finish a bottle in 2 maybe 3 days. My sister closet drinks. My brother’s finally recovering and has been sober for about 3 months. I want to stop. Im going to stop. I have to stop. I cant keep going like this. I can’t end up a closet drinker or even one that finishes a bottle in a day. I dont want to get there. I need support to get through.
