Its been 2 days since I sobered up. Will this really all go away and be easier . all these things keep popping into my head. Things I’ve done, and said. The people that I’ve hurt, the promises broken, money wasted… I have burst into tears a few times today. My fiance keeps telling me to keep going it will be okay, I’m doing great. I don’t feel like it. I am so angry at myself I don’t even want to be around me. I almost can’t stand to see my own face in the mirror. I’m real low right now, and my heart feels like its breaking, that feeling I am not sure why. I have felt myself try to tell myself a few times today get a drink. Using whatever emotion or reasoning. I haven’t but its Defiantely there. Jittery and fidgety . having really werird dreams, but actually dreaming. I usually don’t. Anxious today, because it’s payday and I have a day off. Thank god we have our daughter. (We share custody with her dad) when she’s around it makes me better. How is everyone doing?
4 days is no small feat, that is awesome. so way to go!
when i stopped drinking i felt similarly to what you’re expressing. i just hated myself and couldn’t stand thinking about how much i hated myself. i desperately wanted to stop drinking, but at the same time i was so afraid of not drinking. drinking and using was how i coped with being alive. one thought that really helped me was that i already knew exactly how it felt to be drinking/using all the time, but i had absolutely no idea what it felt like to be sober, and i really wanted to feel differently than i had been for years, and i figured if this whole sobriety thing didn’t work out to be any better than drinking and using that i could just go and off myself. none of my efforts to remain sober on my own worked, so i went to aa. with some guidance and time i’ve found i don’t hate myself at all anymore and i’m grateful to wake up in the morning.
again, 4 days is great progress. keep at it.
if you’re feeling anxious and jittery and just got paid with a day off maybe try some meditations and breathing exercises? go for a walk? draw or paint? write in a journal? watch a documentary? make a bad ass playlist?
best 
The great news is that you never have to go through this again @Lex!
The first 3-4 days are the physical withdrawal.
Are you taking a range of vitamins, resting as much as you can and keeping hydrated?
Enjoy your time with your daughter, that’s going to be the best medicine!
I remember feeling so much like this during my first sober week. I physically felt terrible, and my emotions were all over the map. I was mired down in shame and guilt, and I thought I’d feel that way forever. I hated everything about myself. Sleep was terrible, dreams were nuts.
The good news is that it does get better. Try to be gentle with yourself these first days. Your brain chemistry is going through huge changes as it gets off the booze soaked rollercoaster. You don’t have to fix your life or make up for your past wrongs today; there will be time for that when you feel more stable. For now, you are doing the very best thing you can do for yourself and everyone who loves you by staying sober.
I counted by the hour for a long time. I promise - it gets easier with time.
Hey! Congratulations on 4 (now closer to 5) days! The physical withdrawals are now pretty much over…what an amazingly strong woman you are❤️ I wanted to check in to see how you’re feeling now. The early days of sobriety are definitely an emotional roller coaster…you are doing fantastic things though, try to hold onto that fact as you ride along. Sending you love❤️
@Charlesfreck thanks. No vitamins bit I can’t get enough to drink lately. Water water, and juice whatever really drink it down so fast, hard to get to sleep but when I am I’m out, weird vivid dreams, sweating in my sleep
@ELY83 today is day five. I am feeling a little better, so so thirsty. My veins don’t really feel like they’re popping out of my arms anymore. Getting headaches though. A lot,of energy. I was a beast at work tonight lol. Things at home are pretty amazing though! Or getting that way. I’m kinda feeling a little inspired
Keep pushing through it @Lex - the worst of the physical side will be over in a week.
And like I said, you NEVER need to go through it again.
The dreams, not being able to sleep, sleeping too much, craving sweet things, the bullhorn voice in your head telling you everything’s fine now and you’ll be able to drink again, temper swings - this sort of bs might be some of your next obstacles, but when you’ve got through that damn awful first week you’ll be ready to take them on.
Take that leap of faith Lex, if I can get to over 2 years you can do it as well - just take it one day at a time, and never have the first drink.
Yesss! Glad to hear that. For me at least, the physical withdrawal issues (lots of headaches and the ups and downs energetically and emotionally) all took a back seat to that being inspired piece. I knew that what I was doing for myself was the best possible choice, so I was able to take the other stuff in stride. When my body would hurt or I’d be stuck on the couch zapped of energy, I would just drink water and say “your body is brilliant. It is doing the work to right the ship and you are brilliant for finally letting it. It’s been telling you all this time that it wants good things like water and rest and nourishment and you’re finally giving them to it…just sit tight…you’ll be fine” it took a month or two for all those feelings to subside, and I still sometimes wonder if a random headache or energy zapped week are due to PaWS, who knows how long it takes to right the ship really. All I know is at least I’m back on course to a destination other than hell. Glad to be on the ship with you 
I’m on day 7 and when I have gotten really fidgety, I try to do something active and physical. I like to go to the gym, but it can be as simple as taking a walk with your daughter and fiance. Getting the blood pumping, even just a little bit, takes some of the edge off. And softening that edge is often the difference between relapsing and staying on track. Good luck!
I’m on day 13, and still have the weird dreams. Sweating stopped finally. Drinking everything quickly is your brains way of thinking you’re chugging alcohol. It gets easier with time. Keep fighting and resisting. Remember why you’re doing this. Good luck and congratulations!
@Lex first off dont be so hard on self, we learn from our mistakes and if you hard on self how are you going to learn? I spent 20 years in the navy and out of that 20 I probably spent 18 drunk. You messed up like we all have but that’s life. Move forward and better self now, congrats on you soberity and if you need anything reach out. You are never alone
Thank you all for your kind words. Its day 6. I’m so glad i found this app it had been really good for me. Hope you’re all doing well.
I’m with you Lex I’m so glad i found this app, it has helped me so much this go around. The encouragement and seeing I’m not alone has made a huge impact on me. Keep ppl up the great work.