Hi beautiful all of you. I’ve been reading along for a while and have to say i got already so much inspiration and gained tons of motivation to go on with staying sober. Tomorrow i will mark 4 months sober. Not my longest stretch yet but definitely feel i’m on the right track.
My drinking began when i was 15 and can honestly say it grabbed my from the first sense of feeling tipsy. Never used any other types of drugs but alcohol has had me in it’s grip ever since (i’m now 40)… It has influenced my life a great deal. Right from the start school went downhill. Got into playing in bands and for 15 years rock n roll lifestyle followed. Fucked up two studies, couldn’t keep a job, longest i ever worked full time in those years was 11 weeks. I lived in a very alcohol and drugs induced environment, living in occupied houses (squats), living from concert to concert, getting arrested regularly, alcohol induced fights. It was also great in it’s own way, living largely outside of society, almost out of reality. Only around the age of 30 i started living a bit more stable, renting a house with my then partner, having discovered vegetable gardening. But even though playing in bands was over, the boozing continued big time. In the following ten years, somehow i did manage to complete a two year organic agriculture education, going to school and internships and moved to another country where i still live and work on an organic market garden. Lot of things happened here in my new country, one of which was the break up of my long relationship, also mainly because of my heavy alcohol use. Than i got into deep depression and lots of trouble and fights with people, all heavy under influence. The lonelyness was so unbearable.
Somehow me catching covid this summer was the moment this new effort of sobriety started. Had to stay home, no booze around and a lot of time to think.
So here i am, four months later and still sober. Realizing i want to change now, i need to and i want it. I want to stop living in the past and start living in the present and think about the future. I also realize i need to resolve some issues from the past and want to seek some professional help for that. Although this is still a bit of a barrier at the moment. But yeah, i have the best mindset so far, more confident and motivated than ever.
Posts about music and gardening will attract my attention 
Much love and sobriety to all! Greetings from Portugal
