I been drinking since i was 14 years old am 33 now i recently lose my mom to cancer and i know she would have wanted me sober. This is the hardest thing right now i feel like everthing is a tigger i dont know where to start please if u have any advice please feel free to right thank you
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Breathe. Take a walk. Read relapse stories on this forum and borrow that pain to avoid causing your own. Think of your Mom’s smile when she sees you beating this thing.
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I lost my mom to cancer a little over 2 years ago.
Drinking only delays feeling all of the complicated emotions that go along with grief and loss. Stay sober and be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way your mom would want you to be treated, stay healthy and present one breath at a time. Even though its cliché, it does get easier♥️
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I am sorry for your loss, @Nez1er. I am sure that you are in so much pain over her loss. And it is good that you want to get sober, and acknowledging that your mom would want that for you is good… But you need to want this for yourself, too. You are a worthwhile person, a valuable person that deserves a chance to be free, don’t you think?
If everything is triggering you, that actually makes a lot of sense. You are not only trying to kick an almost lifelong habit, but you are also grieving over your mother. That is a LOT to take handle, man.
If you can gain support from me, or one of us on the forum, a sober friend or family member, or an AA group, i think that could really help you if you need someone to talk to. Is there anything you can think of that I can help you with?
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Welcome! We can’t do this alone. I suggest starting out with this link.
Resources for our recovery
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I took care of dad his last year before he died of cancer. That’s when my drinking really got bad. Funny thing is dad was an alcoholic my whole life. I followed right behind him. I’m 23 days sober and my 30th day would have been his bday. I thought that was fitting 
When you have a trigger take time to really think about how alcohol could help it. That’s what I’m doing anyway. Just take it hour by hour. Hang in there! You are worth it!!
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Thank you so much its hard when all i do is drink i feel like i really have to find my self and i dont know where to start
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Thank you I appreciate you letting me borrow a ear it’s hard to find some who really knows what am feeling right now i want to drink am mad i want to drink when am sad want to drink am trying to find that void
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I’m so so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother a year and a half ago. There was this period when she was in the icu unconscious. For two weeks we didn’t really sleep or leave…we were essentially holding a vigil for her and in doing that, beginning to glimpse at the grieving process that lay ahead. I’m not going to lie, losing her was painful. And it never completely
Goes away, it is happening though…whether we want it to or not. Drinking and drugs don’t help us through the process at all. They stop it in its tracks, and they take us farther and farther away from the connection to the bigger picture that we need in order to figure things out. Escaping with drugs and alcohol will only delay AND make even messier the process. For me it was important to let all of the ugliness be ok. I cried, I watched the same movies on repeat. I went back to work (because it was helpful for me) I ate what I wanted. I let myself fall apart when I needed to. And slowly, day by day, it got better. It was helpful for me to realize that…I didn’t choose for my mom to die…but I did get to choose how I mourned her death…and how my life continued on afterward. And I think those choices honored her life and what she did for me…and that truth is unbelievably helpful as I move forward. Sending you so much love from NJ. 
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