But I’ll stay. I already told my therapist about these thoughts and she assured me it’s usual for many to feel this way and that’s exactly the reason why I should stay.
I have rehab for 5 1/2 months. I can’t imagine being here this long. Everyone is friendly, the other patients and the staff all have been nice to me. It’s a beautiful area in hills and woods.
I wanna give myself the chance to stay here until I get used to it. The only real reasons why I wanna go home is because I want to use again and because it’s weird being around so many new people (and most of them 30 years and older, I am 21 now).
And they’re all drug addicts like me so their personality seems a bit off, often at least . Not judging here, you get what I mean. My personality has too suffered from drugs so it’s bit weird around these people, still they’re all totally cool to me.
Im glad ur staying. U recovery is worth fighting for. U deserve a clean and sober life
I remember in rehab one morning, it was a tough topic and i got up out of my seat and walked out the door. I felt like i couldnt do it, couldnt face the trauma, and couldnt handle the emotions, but thankfully one of the counsellors came after me and i returned to the program. Im grateful that she came after me and im grateful that I listened to her and returned. I know whats out there when I use. As im sure u do too. We dont need to keep going back there thinking it will be different this time, cuz deep down inside we know that it wont be. But rehab gives us the opportunity to learn new skills and techniques, and teaches us how to life clean and sober. 5 1/2 months will go by fast and at least it gives u a fighting chance. And ull get to know everyone as time goes on. I know that I came into rehab with alot of trust issues and was hesistant to open up… at first. Maybe others are just feeling the same. Give it some time
You’re whole answer is good, what helped me most is you writing that it’ll at least give me a fighting chance if I complete it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t fight drugs, that I’m gonna die using. Yet I always feel deep down in my heart that I can get clean and free from addiction and that is what I really want, for a long time now
Even if it doesn’t really feel like it, I believe this rehab is the best place for me right now. I don’t have to care for the other people there. I’m not here to make friends even though I’m open to it. I’m here for myself. And I already know a few people who are good fellows with whom I can take forest walks in 10 days (the first two weeks the rule is to stay more on the rehab area) so I have something to look forward to
It’s good to know you also wanted to quit rehab and stayed and now you’re completely clean! So yea thanks for motivating me to stay
Edit : I just can’t imagine 5 1/2 months going by fast it is so much
I’m really proud of you going and turning up in the first place
Is there someone there you can tell how your feeling ? I’m sure they would rather you explain you want to leave and why and they may have support exactly for your situation
Make it clear you don’t want to leave but it’s the cravings being so strong and you need to talk to a therapist or councillor, maybe ask in their experience how can you/them help you get past these feelings while you settle in.
It’s likely to be common for people to feel this way in the early days and they may have extra support if you speak up.
Imagine using for another 5 and 1/2 months, for me when I sit here and imagine using for 5 months - I don’t think I’d make it that long before it took my life.
This is your chance to survive, your young and you will have fresh start and I believe in you. You have us here also
Glad you’re started that rehab. I don’t have much of experience myself but totally agree with Twizzle and Dana.
Just give it some time to get settled and get in touch with the staff and talk about it when things get tough.
Pretty sure the nurses will listen too and might have experienced advice for you. Be communicative and stay open minded.
Good luck. Sending you love and strength
Thanks, I have my one on one therapist, she seems smart and helpful to me and I told her. And there’s a few other seemingly trustworthy patients and they also were understanding of my craving and told me it would get better.
Yesterday there was a guy saying goodbye before leaving and he said his first 3 months were horrible like some torture but because of the last 3 months it was one of the best times of his life so Im looking forward to getting to the good times here. And yeah, 5 months of me using would also be life threating for sure. My last overdose is just 4 weeks ago. At least I’m safe here from that kind of thing. It may not be paradise but if I can’t do drugs here it is a good start
You’ll be alright man, but you would benefit greatly from changing your perception about your drug of choice otherwise you’ll continue to see it as something that’s good for you and enjoyable. Do you see the drug as harmless? Do you love it more than anything else in life? If the answer to those questions is yes then you have to ask yourself if that’s really how you feel because if that’s really what you want deep down inside then rehab won’t be anything more than a prison sentence and once you’re out you’ll be more inclined to relapse. You’re young and you can avoid so much suffering and pain if you re-establish yourself right now.
I see the drug as a danger to my life, but I still have feelings toward it that are similar to love. I don’t love it more than anything else but I’ve been ‘loving’ it for years now. I am in rehab because I don’t want to feel this way.
In some ways it did feel like a prison sentence just because I can’t use at home. This is just a temporary feeling, mostly Im comfortable here. And I’m here voluntarily, no one send me here.
In some ways I’m already thinking of what if I relapse right after going home. Even in that case rehab wouldn’t have been useless. It would be 6 months in which my mind and body could heal and grow. And it would be 6 months of learning about my addiction. So I’ll just stay in the moment for now and stay here in rehab
Glad to hear your still there
And remember we are all here for you as support as well.
It’s a true strength that you wrote here how you felt, and opened up.
