Welcome Tay! Sounds like you know what you need to do. Living life fully - being sober & not running to the numbness & escape of addiction - is going to take resolve; you’re gonna have to dig deep. You need to search for it like a person searches for water in the desert. It needs to be your too priority.
The good news is you never have to be drunk & reckless again. You know you want to be sober. Now all you have to do is find your people, people who help you be your full self, sober, and take it one day at a time.
Living sober is different from living with the “escape hatch” of addiction; there’s different emotional work involved, and you really get to know your full sober self with all the feels. It can be a bit overwhelming at times. Don’t hesitate to reach out here! There’s also many books & podcasts, and groups you can join which is helpful for having a space to talk. Many of them have online options:
Resources for our recovery
Welcome Tay!