I just got out of a 5 day detox and coming home i just want to drink. I know I need to do this. i don’t even recognize myself anymore. i’m afraid to go to meetings, I don’t know why. I’m scared to talk to a bunch of strangers about my problems because I’m just admitting them to myself. Should I start with the online meetings to get a feel for it? 5 days sober and i’m feeling defeated.
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Hi ! Don’t give up. And yess have online meetings juste listen if you dont feel Like sharing. I don’t have links but you’ll find them. Or podcast. Recovery elevator. And you Can still share hère 
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You’re five days sober. Whatever the setting that’s a huge victory! And nobody can go it alone imho. Just being present is enough for now. Here, somewhere else online. Or in person. We’re in this together. Hugs.
Intherooms.com is a good one for online meetings.
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100% give the online meetings a go if you don’t think you can manage face to face meetings yet. As @Mno said, I also believe it’s near impossible to maintain recovery all on our own. 5 days is great, you may feel defeated but it doesn’t mean you have to be! Keep on going 
ps there is no obligation to share at face to face meetings - just sitting and listening is ok too 
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Online zoom marathon meeting
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You can join with your audio and camera off and listen in until your comfortable and no one will know your there.
Face to face meetings you can just go to and sit and listen. I did that on my first few times I didn’t speak at all.
People were very welcoming and smiling and understanding of how I felt as they had once been me new to group.
I’d say don’t think to hard about it just do it. Don’t give yourself time to talk yourself out of AA or talk yourself into a drink.
Where you are right now at 5 days is great, it’s such a great start. Do everything you need to to get through the next 24 hours.
Glad your here reaching out instead of just giving up on yourself
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I too was SOOOOO scared of the meetings. I very distinctly remember wanting to throw up before going in to my first one. I didn’t truly have the willingness at first when I arrived to AA. But after some time, that program gave me exactly what I needed to change my entire world. I found a sponsor, worked the steps, connected with some amazing people who had decades of sobriety and this really allowed me to do the inner work to change everything. I truly could not do this on my own. Welcome to the community here and I hope you are able to join in a meeting today.
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See if you can find a speaker meeting and sit and listen. You won’t be asked to share anything. Or there are alot of good podcasts I listen to them on the drive home from work. It’s like being at a meeting. Recovery elevator, Shair podcast, that sober guy, the bubble hour. Just a few
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