Hi all. When I quit drinking, I became more relaxed, and quality of sleep was better after 10-20 days sober.
Now I feel like my anxiety,stress and poor quality of sleep is creeping back at me.
I have issues in my life such as:
-being unemployed (or underemployed, I study and have some short time jobs but nothing regular)
-broke up with abusive ex…
-my friends are more busy than me.
-Im prone to other addictions, like obsessive online dating app usage or sex/masturbation.
Thanks for any comments in advance,
You really are the best I have now!!
Fuckin demons creep back just when you’re feeling good.
Sorry, i hope others have words of advice but all I can say is I’m right there.
I didn’t start with substance use, i used it to mask my fucked-upness. Is the answer solving the sourse? I dunno.
You’re not alone
First of all, good Job on still being sober!
I feel you … I’ve been sober for 37 days and for the first 20ish days I my days consisted of sleeping and eating. Now that my body is over the initial detox, my sleeping pattern is deteriorating. Sigh. I’m also a student, working on my thesis, looking for jobs, due for a knee surgery next week … lots of stuff to keep my busy mind racing at night.
My advice is to establish a night time routine, go to be at the same hour every night and look into taking melatonin. I still struggle, but it definitely helped me.
Even though I sleep bad, I have lots more energy than while still drinking. Using that energy to make small, healthy improvements like i mentioned above keep me motivated, even when I feel down, like you might feel right now. I also started working out more and I am much more focused when researching.
So keep your head up and keep going, it can only get better as we gain more experience
Hi there Mkm,
What sort of program of action are you taking? Abstinence is required for recovery, but we all need to move beyond into determining and correcting the ways of thought, action and feeling that led to our alcoholism. If you have a program, are you using it to your full advantage?
The underlying discontent will not go away on its own, unfortunately. Good luck to you!
I don’t have a program. I feel somewhat lost/drifting, but I have goals, like learning to code in order to get job as software engineer.
I’m also trying to restart some hobbies I used to do when younger.
I do have 3 wonderful children, who I spend time with every other weekend…
It’s been easier than I thought not to drink,because I dont keep any alcohol around.
But if I had to meet people in a bar, the craving would strike badly…
You’re past the point where it’s physical. You’re done with withdrawal and your brain and body are healing and rebuilding. I hope you are eating well, and exercising. A healthy body supports a healthy mind, which you need for this phase of the battle.
It is now almost exclusively a mental fight. You’ve changed, but those around you have not, and you are starting to notice. You are growing restless with being in unfamiliar territory. You’re sober now.
Your old life is gone. Don’t mourn its loss. Accept it and look forward. Pick a goal, a big fat life-bettering goal, and get after it. Maybe a new/better job, or a degree or certification. Maybe a physical challenge like a 10K or half-marathon. Maybe it’s a home improvement project. Doesn’t matter except that it must be a measurable achievement that is 100% positive, and takes self-discipline to reach.
This will serve many purposes. First, you benefit from the actual achievement, be it financially, physically, or spiritually.
Second, and most important, you build self-confidence through the successful application of self-discipline. In mastering one thing, you have learned the secret of mastering all things: self-discipline.
I listen to a soundtrack of waves breaking on a beach sometimes, and I have another of a rain/thunderstorm. Both of these are great for when I want to tune out everything, and just relax.
How’s it going today? I’ve been pondering what to say about a program of action. I’ve tried many paths including religion, group therapy, individual therapy, inpatient rehab, outpatient rehab. The one that finally stuck for me is AA. I see lots of references on this forum to other group based recovery programs, too.
What it boils down to is that in my own, I could not recover or gain serenity or stay sober. I need help, every day, from a strength beyond my own. Groups of humans with the same shared and individual goals have that strength. So does a relationship with a guru of one kind or another.
My best thinking on my own kept me drunk and arrested and bitterly lonely. My reliance on a higher power has kept me sober for a long unbroken string of days.
How you spend your time is in your control. You don’t have to fill every minute of every day but if you feel like you want to do more, that is in your power. In fact it’s one of the incredible gifts of sobriety, time to do the things you actually want to do, that will give you long term happiness instead of chasing the allure of short term pleasure.
