White/American-Indian, middle-class married man…seeming good life; Happy marriage (minus my alcoholism), good job, etc. Should be fine.
I’m an alcoholic.
Started drinking in my teens, like all kids really…continued into binge drinking in my 20’s - in my late 20’s/30’s started traveling a lot for work - which turned into drinking during the week; 40’s was traveling internationally…an alcoholics dream - drink at the airport, drink the whole flight, drink after meetings…repeat
Net-net, I drank every single day. Even after the traveling stopped. Got up in the morning, cracked a beer by 7am and drank all day. Still worked (remote mostly), and I don’t “think” my work knew, but hard to say.
Health was terrible, gained a lot of weight - my Liver levels were extremely crazy high…
My mom then died of Liver Disease…get this, non-alcoholic liver disease. She never drank.
It was horrible, horrible to watch her die that way - you don’t want anyone you care about to see you go out like that. Once your liver goes, the rest goes and you just “fade”.
After that I enrolled myself into rehab. I had told my wife “I’m an alcoholic”, which she replied “yes, I know”…2 yrs later after announcing that is when I actually went into rehab. (There was always a “reason” why I couldn’t go - “I’ll go next year etc”.
Entered rehab Oct '22. 21 Days.
It changed my life - in every way.
I am now 10mos sober and happy to be sober. My health is drastically improved (have lost 45lbs since entering rehab, all my liver levels are normal and no cirrohisis (lucky on that one).
What I learned and/or advice.
#1 - you have to WANT to quit. No one can make you or tell you to quit. That was critical. I wanted to quit. I was killing myself every day and watching my mom die really hit home for me.
2. Rehab can help - don’t be afraid of it (I actually wrote a book about it if anyone is interested, a day to day journey). In Rehab, its not the “instructors” or “counselors” that help you - its the other people in there. Truly open stories, no judgement, only support. I still keep in contact with some of them today.
3. You have to have a Higher Power. Mine was God, yours can be whatever you believe - but you have to really belief in it. You have to have Faith that there is something beyond you that can help you.
I still do thank God for every day, and in Rehab I prayed and thanked Him for getting me through each day
The results you can expect being sober (I hadn’t been a real sober person, meaning gone more than say 5 days without drinking in 30 yrs!)…
- CLARITY…this one amazed me…alcohol is like a ‘dimmer switch’, when you are truly sober you can actually see the real world with new eyes and especially a clear mind
- Health - no brainer, alcohol itself is a poison…this isn’t a reason to do entirely, but its a huge benefit
- NO more anxiety ! - do you get anxious a lot? Holy $hit I didn’t know this would go away but its completely gone!
- Guilt is gone…I felt guilty every single day. My wife never complained but I could see it in her eyes. I hid how much I drank from her, I would go to different stores to buy alcohol because I thought or assumed “they knew” at the stores when I would check out …" Didnt you just buy an 18pack yesterday?"
- Post-drinking “life”/“fun” - I was afraid I couldn’t travel anymore, or do the things I used to…I was wrong - I’ve been to Cabo sober (for the first time ever!) and had a great time, been fishing, played music, gone out with friends…all sober
Stick with it…my .02 is rehab is the way to go, though thats all I knew. I tried to quit on my own and it went horrible wrong (I had vivid nightmares and night sweats)…
I hope this may help - if you have any questions for me, hit me up directly. I am a happy sober person, truly happy seriouslly. I know the rest of my life will be better now than it would have been.
