I thought I’d share this article. I have to admit that it applies to me & it’s a cycle that I want to avoid in future relationships. I feel like if I don’t take the time to explore who I am and better myself in all aspects of my life then I’m only setting myself up for failure & I’ve experienced enough of that.
Can anyone else relate to any of these?
Do codependent people seek out and find other codependent people?
Am I subconsciously solely attracted to codependency?
(Questions I find myself asking myself)
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Me too. I purposefully have stayed away from pursuing relationships because I know that this is something I need to address. My alcoholism needed to be dealt with first. Now that I have some time under my belt & a head full of AA knowledge, I feel like I’m ready to deal with this issue. It’s just as scary as early sobriety for me though!
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That was a good read. I had never known what codependency meant until I started my sober journey and explored around on here. I thought to myself that there should be my picture in the dictionary under its definition, lol. I started looking back at my childhood and realized that my parents were this way. My mother, the very compassionate, nurturing nurse who took care of my father, the functioning alcoholic, who always made it to work and played with us but did little else around the house. I really realized tho when my aunt from Jersey broke her leg a couple years ago and my mother went and stayed with her for over a month to help out. My father let the mail pile up, unopened, didnt know how to work the dishwasher, or do his own laundry. I felt bad that he was so helpless, at 72, and obviously helped him thru it. Most all my relationships have had many of these traits. I put in 100% of myself only to be let down when my partner doesnt do the same. But now I know that it’s me who shouldn’t expect so much. Still trying my best to work thru this in my current relationship. Definitely going to be a lifelong work in progress.
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It’s a difficult trait to identify in ourselves for sure. A few years back my ex and I started reading the CODA book, but I was too caught up in my own bullshit (drinking) to really focus on it. I think I’m going to look into online CODA meetings or else I’ll just start cosigning my own bullshit like I did when I first tried to get sober.
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Great article pretty much described me to T. I’ve gotten a lot better but still something I know needs lots of work.
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Yes this article is so true! I myself have grown up in a family of alcoholics! I know all about codepency and I am now all alone by choice. I see alcohol a lot still in my life because of my family. It does not feel good. Them knowing my full story and how it affects me, and how I would rather they not drink around me. But I have dealt with it one on one, and now i know i cant deal with it. Since then, I’ve gotten to know myself really well, and learned to love and respect myself.
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Me too. . . By the time I’m done straightening out the misinformation in my head, I’ll either be a great catch, or a great example of what not to do 🤷
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% where I’m at these days.
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I think this is my downfall in relationships. I always had the idea of needing to be with a woman to settle me down. Now that im quiting and choosing to be alone and working on myself its becoming more clear i was doing it all wrong. Only person that can make me be successful with sobriety n settling down is myself. Am i getting the idea of this codependency right? lol
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I’m 100% on board with the not being in a relationship till I’m better decision. I’ve made a shit show out of many relationships due to what I now know as codependency (plus the obvious problems caused by substance abuse) and I don’t want to put myself or anyone else through the pain of it again. Definitely taking responsibility for my part by starting therapy today. Thanks for the awesome topic @ChristopherX
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A lot of us have this realization in sobriety. I love that about us recovering folks. We take the time to examine ourselves completely and try to be the best version of ourselves.
Yeah, I don’t ever want anyone (including myself) to have to experience the pain that my ignorance had caused in the past ever again.
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Amen brother for real
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