Oh wow everyone thank you all for the warm wishes and welcome
I will do individual replies but some general updates…
In March I went to Egypt for three weeks. A week dance holiday in Cairo then a couple of weeks moving about. I had this lightbulb moment - like this is what it is to be happy. Obviously being on holiday is part of it. But also being on my own and being independent. Also at home things not ideal, ongoing relationship stuff including the conversation about having children. I really thought I would come home fresh and ready to make everything amazing but quickly realised that there was just so much stuff that had been buried and avoided for so long… Time to go separate ways. A decision I have been grappling with for a very long time.
I was also planning on coming off my antidepressants (had a meds review planned) and forgot to take them with me when I stayed with a friend so just stopped early. Probably should have done a taper, but there was only one dose to reduce and by the time I had my review I was a week in. It’s been a wild few weeks! In a way though it’s good timing, the strong emotions have given me a chance to do some processing of difficult past stuff but the mood swings mean I am not totally trapped in that. Also have a group of friends rallying around so got lots of people checking in and making me feel super supported.
Selling the farm is going to be hard as there is a lot of work to do to get it ready. And also very sad, I love it here. However it is expensive and too big for me. I am looking forward to having a space that is just mine. A friend just moved to the suburbs of a nearby city and I think I am going to give city life a go. I am super lucky in that I will have money from the farm to buy a place, get a lodger for a little bit of money to go travelling with. Start in Egypt, I loved it there. Maybe do a TS world tour That is the current thinking anyway. My main plan is to have no real plan! The farm could take a year to sell and things might change by then. My contract at work runs until March 2025 so I have a bit of time to see what unfolds.
Hey Sian, I was so happy to see your post and a familiar name, member of community etc. I loved reading all your news and love to see how you are continually growing and evolving no matter what life throws at you. A HUGE congrats on your 6 years. Im SO proud of you. Keep keeping on! God Bless
I would imagine it’s much the same as it is for me. I am a non-drinker. I do remember what drinking me was about, but as a non-drinker I don’t think about drinking. I’m guessing that the further away we get from that last drink, the less the pull it has on us, kinda like gravity.
Congratulations on your 6 and a bit! Keep Living Life!
Wonderful to hear from you! Massive congratulations . Thanks for dropping in share, I was thinking of you the other day. It is great when we move past fighting against drink, and into fighting for the life we deserve.
Six years, my friend. That’s a hell of a lot of 24s. It sounds like your journey as of late has been one heck of a world- and soul-wide one. Not in any way easy - but so rich and so needed. Ain’t it crazy how life gets bigger, clearer, and more full of possibilities the longer we are sober? I look forward to hearing stories of Siand in the City and around the world.
You and I came in very close together, and I am forever thankful for your friendship, support, and wisdom over the last six years. What a gift you are…
Omg! So sorry I missed this. Belated congratulations on your 6 years milestone. Reading your update made my day. Thank you for sharing. You are such an amazing inspiration and have been such a huge support for me over the years, it’s great to see you making strides and the changes necessary to be happy.
I can’t imagine life without my meds, but seeing you doing it gives me hope that maybe, someday, perhaps I could. It will probably take a few more years of sobriety tho.
If your travels ever bring you to my neck of Central Europe (or whether it is I’m travelling to at the time), you are more than welcome to my perfectly adequate yet rather uncomfortable sofa. However, if you take me up on the sofa offer, you may wake up in the morning to a little dog with silly ears cuddling into you.
Certainly feels like lots to build at the moment. But that is mainly exciting! Fortunately my parents are here for a few days and have been amazing in getting things tidied up. Hard to accept at times but I know that we don’t have to do it all alone.
Trying to be grateful for the help rather than feeling incompetent, the medication withdrawals have definitely been feeding that negative perception. Hopefully on the tail end of those now which should smooth the next bit out a bit
What is life if not a series of existential crises?! feeling strong enough to accept, navigate and even enjoy them is cool though. The work we put in does pay off!
Hope Amsterdam is looking lovely, we finally have a bit of warmth and sunshine here in the UK.
Finally starting to get in touch with how I feel, not how I think or getting stuck on what I think I should do. It’s definitely baby steps but it’s a journey.
I hope life is good for you, I haven’t caught up much on the forum in general. I hope your craft room is bringing you all the joy
Thank you so much! The split is a weird one, lots of stuff to process but that all feels quite healthy. Being strong enough, physically and emotionally, to do some of the stuff I want to do feels like a huge privilege, I didn’t think I would end up here. So that’s pretty amazing! Obviously not all rainbows and unicorn farts but ready for a little bit of sparkle
How are you and the hubs? Hoping he is back to health and some of the insane stresses you were under have subsided or at least shifted into something more manageable.
Yea I think so. It’s so weird (in a good way!) to have enough faith in myself to take the leaps. It feels like it has been a long and very winding path… But happy to be on it!
Very much reciprocated
Doesn’t it just.
Where did you land work wise in the end? Still on Cali? Still dreaming of coming to visit the big trees one day, that will require a bit more financial effort tho!
Feel free to PM if you want to unload about any of the life changes.
Health has been such a big part of my journey, getting iron/ b12 / vit D on track has really helped with the hormonal side of things. Hoping to enjoy a bit of relief from that before peri starts! Hopefully a fair few years yet but who knows…
Hubs is doing great! His health is back to normal, he’s feeling amazing and working hard again.
Thankfully, life has been peaceful these days. Our financial stressor has eased. A complete 180 from this time last year. Of course it’s not all rainbows and butterflies but nothing compared to what it was.
Thank you for asking, Sian. Wishing all the best on your next adventure.
Yeah, still in California. I’ve been revisiting this again lately. Decided to stay because things felt unfinished a few years ago, and have so much support here. Today they feel more finished. It might be time to move on, whether a new locale or at least a new career. What that looks like is still hazy, and there’s some fear as my situation is quite good as is, at least on a practical level.
And I would love to have you, anytime! The trees are truly a wonder to behold.
I love it!!! 6 years is so outstanding!! Big hugs
I’m sorry about the other circumstances though But it’s a new chapter in your life and you’re going to be fantastic!!
I’m new here, right at the start of my journey, so 6 years is like - wow! Just a note to say you have inspired me further to be in your position in 6 years time, returning to the forum to check in with all the sober friends I made along the way. Congratulations
That is the current thinking anyway. My main plan is to have no real plan! The farm could take a year to sell and things might change by then. My contract at work runs until March 2025 so I have a bit of time to see what unfolds.
but it’s a journey.
6 years is so outstanding!! Big hugs 
But it’s a new chapter in your life and you’re going to be fantastic!!