Today is a special day for me. Just a few months ago I was resigned to the darkest of fates at the hands of alcohol. I can remember laying in bed throwing up for hours on end in a perpetual clammy sweat begging God to give me the strength to quit drinking or to just kill me. This went on for almost 4 days until I finally dialed 911. I spent the next three days in a semi comatose state, heavily sedated in a hospital bed… I can’t count how many times my life has fallen apart. I’ve pulled myself out of some holes that seemed insurmountable and shown real strength in times of distress. Yet this time as the nurses administered my medicine I felt completely helpless. I had left my job the previous month in a misguided attempt to quit drinking and to “go somewhere I could be healthy.” Instead, in that ensuing month I found myself unemployed, close to broke, and on the brink of suicide… How could things have gotten to this point? Just a few months prior I had been quite optimistic about the future and was situated fairly comfortably in the present. I had a nice house with two roommates I got along really well with. I had a boss who believed in my skills and was paying me really well (at least for a cook), while allowing me to run a line. I had a substantial savings (at least for a cook) and was discovering a lot of new interests and becoming a more well rounded individual. I knew at the time the drinking would have to stop. I tried to develop tapering regiments or would dose myself with sleeping meds on my days off to ensure I would just sleep all day and not drink. Unfortunately the drinking only increased until I was completely dependent on alcohol to function. From there it was only a matter time until I found myself trying to put my life back together… Fortunately this story has a bit of a happy ending. I reconnected with my boss my last few days in the hospital and after many heartfelt conversations I got on the bus and returned to work and my home. Initially, I had some anxiety and preconceived notions about how people would treat me after having left and knowing the extent of my ailments. What I found was a lot of compassion and genuine excitement about me staying sober. Today marks 60 days without a drink!!! It is the longest I have went without a drink in the six years since I told myself I wanted to quit. There are people who I wish I could share this day with. People who my addiction has affected negatively. People who saw me at my lowest. People whom I still want in life. People I still love. So many of us have lost people we love because of our addiction. Today it feels good to be free of those confines.
I love this. Great story of compassion and strength and resilience. Your are smashing it 
Congratulations on your 60 days Ryan
One Grateful Day At A Time works for me.
Keep up the great work.
I’m so happy for you.
Fantastic! Congratulations on 60 days! 
We’re the lucky ones to recieve the gift of desperation.
Congratulations on 60 days alcohol free🙂
That’s a great way to look at it Lisa!! Wonderful phrase.
@TheClamps keep up the good work Ryan!! Sounds like the start of a great new life for you!!
Congratulations 
you are doing fabulous. 
Thanks for sharing! Congratulations on your 60 days
Congrats on 60 days and pulling yourself out of helpless despair @TheClamps
Thank you for sharing your experience and hope.
What has helped to get you this far into sobriety?
Thank you to everyone for the support. The last sixty days have been very emotional. Today in particular has been a lot to process. I’m so hard on myself and showing myself any self love is almost impossible. So I really appreciate the kind words from everyone. This is a day I am not going to forget for a long time.
Ah man Ryan - THANK YOU for sharing your story and a huge congrats on your 60 days! 
Keep up the amazing work… you deserve an addiction free life!
