Hi everyone,
I’m currently 64 days free from alcohol and smoking. Over the past two months, I’ve been blessed with some decent projects to work on, and I’m still taking my prescribed medication for anxiety, cravings, and abstinence support (disulfiram).
My daily routine looks something like this:
I usually wake up at 4 AM, pray, and drink warm water. Then I spend the next two hours replying to client emails. After that, I take my dog for a walk and eat breakfast. I work for around four hours and then take a two-hour nap in the afternoon because of the sedation from my medications. In the evening, I attend either a physical meeting or an online meeting.
My cravings have reduced a lot, and I’ve been staying away from people and situations connected to my drinking past. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how productive I used to be before alcohol took over my life — always learning new things, building things, and growing.
But now, even though I want to learn new skills, take courses, and apply for better jobs, every day I tell myself “I’ll start tomorrow.” When I try to learn something, I become lazy or lose motivation and postpone it to the next day.
I’m wondering… Is this normal in recovery?
Another thing is my thinking pattern. Even if I get enough work in a month, I feel like it’s not enough. I constantly worry about not getting more clients, not being married yet, and feeling like time is passing too fast — I’m 30 now and it scares me sometimes.
How can I change these thoughts and become more productive and happy?
I really want to improve my life and make the most of my sobriety, but I feel stuck between wanting to grow and feeling mentally exhausted.
Any guidance from those who have been through this stage of recovery would mean a lot.
Thank you 
Im also glad that u take time out of ur evening for a meeting. Those are all valuable things.