I feel that, I really do.
Blessed are the meek, who let go in strength on Gods time
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Labor day weekend, Montanas biggest weekend, fishing, Rodeo, carnival, wild and roudy.
Mid September is the end of the summer for us, attractions slow down here in the next few weeks. Fishermen become less and such.
But, in this weekend, same as another other weekend. We praise the Lord, we stay sober, we attend to what God has sent out for us, we go into the word of God.
The closer we are to the bible, the better things become.
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Praise to the King of all kings.
…
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@Butterflymoonwoman
@WCan
@Amelie
@Cjp
Part 6.
Good morning everyone.
Happy Sunday 
When I was lost back in February i knew 2 things. I was headed into a deep depression and I was in the wilderness.
I could see the tension rising, to this day the tension rises again, but i feel in His care. The thoughts in my head will say many things. But, I know now, that I am aligning with what Jesus wants there is no dead ends, only seasons, lessons and Joy.
That turn to action has put my life in a more meaningful spot.
I hold onto the promise of the word
From February to June, God pulled me out of a dead job, in a dead relationship, out of dead ends. I trust in Him, even when I didn’t want too. But, i knew deep down, change needed to happen. Even if I felt like it shouldn’t, letting go and letting God. For he has never failed me.
He was always there, from Day 1 of sobriety and even before that. Even in my mess, in lustful sin, He, beyond all wanted me to come fourth, to not do it on my own, but let Him have my heart. Like a father, when we return back to His house, its all grace, its all love, with no judgment of what happened before. Many days God knocked on my door, and I listened to what He said, but I turned away. Not in disrespect but because I thought I could do it on my own.
I led myself to dead ends, meaningless ventures a hardened heart. I lead myself to pride, to wars, to another dead end. To moments that wouldn’t last, to things that where ever fleeting.
And so, my heart hardened more. Doing what I wanted all the time. Would eventually break me. Back to isolation, back to anger, resentment, back to my own corrupted mind.
Back to the hurt. Even in sobriety.
Dear Heavenly Father, make me new, come into my heart, forgive me, as I forgive others, let all crooked lines go straight in Your name. Bless all others in Your name. Bring us hope, love and care. Reset my mind, Lord, destroy the corruption in my heart. So, I can see You more clearer.
In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
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Lets begin.
Lets get to it.
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What differences have you noticed in your life now that you have accepted Jesus Christ?
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How has your definition of willpower changed since you have been in recovery?
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What have you been able to turn over to God?
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What do you fear turning over to His care?
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What is keeping you from turning them over?
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What does the phrase, “one day at a time” mean to you?
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What is the major concern in your life?
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Whats stopping you from turning it over to Jesus Christ?
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Closing.
It’s about our personal relationship with Jesus, our savior, our Lord.
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Thank u for sharing 
I really enjoyed this chapter!
Lots as changed! How I treat people, how I treat myself, my outlook on life is more positive, how I handle situations is different bcuz im allowing God to take control, I am more selfless and willing to help others
My definition of willpower changed actually whsn reading this chapter. I always thought willpower was what i am able to do on my own. I understand now that will power is the willingness to accept Gods power and direction. I really like that!
- My addiction to drugs and alcohol
- Some other unhealthy behaviours that i know would displease him
-My sons diagnosis and medical conditions. I fully believe that God has my sons best interest at heart and that he is protecting him in ways that I cant even fathom. - My thinking and acting (i pray for this daily)
- My hurt and anger over my past
- My health. I really struggle to let go of the reigns. Idk… obviously my way isnt working well so idk why i struggle with this so much.
- My eating disorder. Its lije my last coping skill that i have. So i guess im scared to let go?
I guess bcuz i feel like i know what im doing with regards to my health, altho at the same time, its not really working. Im scared that what God wants for me is not what I want. And i want to succeed in my health goals. I know that if i got rid of my eating disorder, i would be abke to achieve these goals. But getting rid of my ED is basically all i have left for a negative coping strategy. I dont drink or use drugs or smoke cigarettes anymore. I just have food to cope and i dont like that. But if i get rid of it, than i am forced to cope in healthy ways which also takes alot of work. So im scared maybe 
It means living in the present moment. It means giving my anxiety of the future to God so that I CAN be present.
- That Im not doing enough for my son. I truly try my best but i at times feel like a failure. He is behind in school due to his language disorder and delay in fine motor skills so im working on that with him with outside help with an SLP. He has physio daily that we do with his walker. His daily stretches for his legs. Working on potty training (hes a very late bloomer due to his medical conditions but we are making progress). Working on what we need to do to get his trach out hopefully (capping and bipap work). Working on increasing speaking valve usage for school. All his medical appts need to be taken care of every month. Researching on accessible activities/sports for my son… they all seem to happen on a weekend when I work so thats shitty. And then of course getting time to play. And yet i still feel like a failure bcuz im not always doing every single thing that Im supposed to be doing with him. Sometimes i forget about his stretches or im too tired to play or we dont do his bipap work every night. Like i should have a schedule for him and stick to it. I know id feel better if i did. So maybe ill work on that today.
Idk honestly. I never thot of turning this over to God. Ill need to pray over this for sure.
These were tough questions to answer. But it felt good to write it out. Thank u for givinf me this space to do so 
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Re question 2, it really struck me when reading the text, so much that I said it aloud: Willingpower! So from now on, that’s my word. Bc willpower fails. As for turning it over, my greatest struggle still is that I place a deadline on things, even unaware. If it isn’t answered by X time, I’m prone to wrest it back and double-down on efforts. Just the self-awareness is progress, and somehow I seem to be forgiven. A flawed human, but sincere in efforts and seeking God.
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I am able to let go of the smaller things, am able to trust in the future and let things develop. So patients.
I cant do all things even if i tried. One thing was letting go, i feel like i’ve done it twice. The first God and to let Him fix me. And two, giving Him more power as I trust in the lord grows.
All my problems, and all the triumphs, for they are because of Him. As time goes on more will let go, its just letting Him do his work and reciving with the right heart poster.
I don’t know exactly. I don’t think there is fear, just new realizations, for I am just in my baby stages of Christ. He will not lead me to something I can’t handle, and He will also give me an out. For His strength is perfected in my weakness.
We praise His name. We let go, we find joy and let us guide us through the tough times.
Praise His name daily.
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@Amelie I really love both your replies.
Its a whole new world and outlook, everyday as we look deeper within ourselves and to others.
Towards things that matter to God.
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So, that is the final post with book 1 out of 4.
I will post both parts 7 and 8 Wednesday, which start book 2.
Step 9, goes deep into Inventory.. which is going to be a deep slow down.
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My baptismal is next Sunday.
To just honor God, Jesus, to not wrestle, to let Him work in my soul, for the rest of my life is my biggest blessing. To know whatever comes through the next door, I am not alone.
Even in my current battles, there is a deep trust, even peace.
Thank you for all.
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12:30 a.m. I took a long-long nap. Here we are. Healing. Read more of the Bible. Let’s do this.
@Butterflymoonwoman
@Amelie
@WCan
Dear Heavenly father, thank You for this opportunity for us to grow closer to You. I pray to those who come and seek You in your guidance and wisdom find the love, care, joy and healing they need.
Amen.
PART 7 AND PART 8.
As I’m learning in my Jesus journey, I’ve come to agreement on a few things, but one of the main things is isolation is not good. There is a difference between, relaxing, recharging and taking time in the quietness vs sitting in my house non stop and not reaching out. That is something I don’t do anymore. Sitting there in your emotions may lead to so many unwanted feelings and thoughts. Its ok to reach out, its ok to go for a walk, to try something new. It may be tough, but connecting is so very important. Its a main staple in any sobriety walk. It may feel weird, it may be hard to open, it may be all those things. But, on the other side as I’ve seen it truly is beautiful what God has done. One of the biggest blessings.
Thank you, Jesus.
Book 2.
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…
Lets get to it.
Questions.
- Why is it important for you to have a support team?
- What qualities are you looking for in a sponsor?
- How have you attempted to find a sponser/accountability partner?
- What are some new places and ways you can try to find a sponsor?
- What is the difference between a sponsor and an accountability partner.
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PART 8.
I’ve come to understand two major things. My heart and mind are corrupted. If I lean on my own understanding, everything falls. I go in circles and eventually find a dead end. My mind is quick to be in denial, quickly finds faults in others and quick to put my emotions into daily scenarios. My heart while in some things can be good and have the right intention, I tend to turn it off when I want something, especially when I don’t have patients. I listened to what I wanted, and at one time or another it was drinking, it was lust, it was running away from the mess I created, it was gambling, going on and on doing what my mind and heart wanted. It was the same circle and I left myself in a deep brokeness, a deep corruption.
ME, I, ME, I, ME, I. Yawn
Day by day, Jesus reveals and shows me, my own corruption. That moment of saddness, that moment of anger, or impatients, any emotion. He speaks, I just have to listen, to heal through our savior. But, most emotions are not even me. That’s just the enemy talking. Discernment is good here.
Ever forgiving, Ever loving. Not me, Him.
Questions.
- Where will you go for quiet time to begin your inventory?
- What date have you set aside to start? What time?
- What are your fears as you begin your inventory? Why?
- What can you do to help “wake up” your feelings?
- Describe your experiance of turning your life over to Christ?
- How do you attempt to turn over your will to God’s care on a daily basis?
- Liat the things you have used to block the pain of your past.
- What have you done to step out of your denial?
- How can you continue to find new ways out of your denial of the past?
- Why is it important to do a written inventory?
- What are some good things you have done in the past?
- What are some of the negative things you have done in your past?
- Do you have an accountability partner to help you keep your inventory balanced?
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A couple ideas. Make sure you’re in an emotionally regulated spot when doing the start of inventory and beyond. Not to happy, not to sad. Seek Jesus, quietness and contemplation.
I remember doing this in a sad emotional state it didn’t create a balanced idea. I sought God, calmned and was able to take a few days to finish the beginning of inventory.
Just seek balance with God, and if you have someone who knows you that you trust maybe create an opportunity to talk to help keep you from going one way or another.
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Closing,
I just want to give a thanks, to the Church I attend, to the support and care they have shown. The memories, the laughter, the tears, oh the tears, to all of it. To the joy, and to the future.
Corinthians 12:9-10
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Thank you, God, it was literal You.
I also want to thank TS, to the people who came to Jesus, who are searching, who are just doing this even if they don’t believe. To those who are trying. May Jesus give you peace, love and care in good times and tough times.
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Indeed.
I like to note, someone who read that Bible not to understand, but to believe is a big difference in who I talk to more frequently about bigger things.
Plus then i get to understand in a different perspective.
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Part 9 comes Sunday. Sometime.
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What a day, thank you Lord.
2 Corinthians 4:16
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
In my bible, then sleep.
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PART 9…
@Butterflymoonwoman
@Amelie
@WCan
Good morning everyone! Happy Sunday.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together here today through talking Sober to connect, learn and grow in Your name. God, I just ask that as we go through this next part, that people who are earnestly doing this see exactly what they need to heal, let go, change into what you know is best, in due time. I just also want to note that, you really are an amazing God, you stuck with us through our trials, mishaps, through our choices when we were away from you. There is literally nothing I can offer you that would be good enough, but thank you for always knocking God, and I hope more people let you in, to sit, to eat, to heal.
In Jesus mighty name.
Amen.
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I’ve done this part, I just knew I needed a bigger space to write. So thats why there is nothing on the questionnaire.
Questions.
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In His Glory.
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I am very behind on this book 
I am going to spend some time today to get caught up 
Thank u for continuing to share @MTSober
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Ha, no, you’re right on time! 
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Haha thank you!!
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I do need to back track to the previous section but just finished reading the section on Principal 4. I have done a step 4 previously through AA and it was tough. I like tho how ur book speaks on abuse. From what I can remember… the 4th step inventory of AA doesnt speak on abuse specifically. Now I am going to be very vulnerable for a second as I have a question. Potential trigger warning for anyone reading:
In the 4th step inventory of AA, i wrote a horrible situation down where 5 men had trapped me in a room and raped me. I blacked out from it at one point. Now in my inventory i wrote down where I was at fault (I was “working” and if i hadnt been in the lifestyle, this wouldve never happened. I was only there for 1 man but i walked into a bad situation that wasnt planned). But now, in ur book, it explains to me that this wasnt my fault. Should I or should I not take some responsibility for what happened? Im confused. What are ur thoughts on this?
I think this week I may spend some time doing Prinicpal 4. Its been many, many years since I have taken a look at my resentments or my role in situations. I like the term of resentment in ur book… unexpressed anger and fear. It helps me to understand what a resentment is.
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From a Biblical standpoint, it’s simple, man, must run from lustful ways.
It’s all to blame.
If there is no buyer, there is no seller.
The seller can atrempt to move, but no buyers nothing happens.
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As for your trauma… thats between you and God.. I can’t simply say, forgive them, because, it’s not that simple.
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I forgave my abusers, but, it takes time.
This part of the program was tough, because when I started to remember things, I remembered even more things…
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Thank u for ur insight friend i like what u wrote here as it makes a lot of sense for me:
I have worked on forgiving them. But i dont know if i have truly let it go. So maybe still a work in progress
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