I saw a quote earlier today and it struck a cord. I just “celebrated” (gave out a couple high fives smiles and texts) the fact that it’s been 8 years since my last relapse with cocaine. The quote was on one of my recovery pages and it said I’d rather go through life sober believing I’m an alcoholic, than go through life drunk trying to convince myself that I’m not. I haven’t had a drink in 15 days now and I’m nervous about going line dancing next weekend for my birthday with all our friends. They’ve always supported my sobriety in the past, sometimes even buying a pitcher of pop or something like that if it was something special going on like this weekend will be. I’ve always gotten sober and eventually relapsed years into it socially drinking. I love to dance its my passion but that bar is my trigger. Does anyone have any advice that isnt quit going? Is there a positive way to approach my friends about this and ask them to help keep me accountable? That way they dont accidentlly encourage it they usually are amazing the first year or two but then not so much into year 3 and 4 thats when i got caught up the last 2 times. I want to quit for good not just a few years.
I’m not in a strong position to give advice. I’ve failed more times than I can remember but this time I’m working on alcohol is not my friend but my enemy. If you enjoy dancing with your friends then why take your enemy along? The very short term buzz of alcohol isn’t worth it for me at the moment because it just leads to that downward spiral into depression ultimately. Enjoy everything you enjoy without alcohol because you don’t need it. Unfortunately there’s someting in my brain that tells me I need it to enjoy certain things but that’s always wrong, unfortunately it’s only after I have that drink I realise I’ve welcomed someone I hate back into my life. Enjoy the dancing and life without someone you hate is how I’d do it. Get all the help you can from your friends and when they forget you don’t drink, remind them a lot! But as I said at the start I’m not in a strong position to give advice but I wish you every success. Enjoy the dancing.
My friend, I only can share my own experience.
Probably avoid the places where meth and heroin are being used if I don’t want to use meth or heroin. If you are a recovering alcoholic a bar is not an appropriate place to be if you’re trying to stay sober, hanging out with people who are drinking.
It’s nonsense. What would you tell someone else asking you this question?
Go to AA, get a sponsor, work the steps?
But honestly, a sponsor will tell you that going is a bad idea. Passion or not, you have to figure out what is more important to you. Sobriety or dancing?
I know it’s a tough pill to swallow but that first year of sobriety requires sacrifice. If you want the benefits of full-time, long-term sobriety you have to put in the work up front. There aren’t shortcuts and anyone telling you that there is probably has not achieved long term sobriety.
Nope, no other advise beside not going. You are accountable for your choices, not your friends. If you feel not settled in your sobriety: stay away from triggers and build on your recovery.
It seems to me that you already know the answers to your question, it appears as if you require some emotional fuel to help you continue on your journey. So, I suppose as I am beginning again, the most appropriate thing I can offer is that you’re worthy of a continued sober life, you’re valued enough to continue celebrating sobriety, and you’re important enough to express your truest self, and loved enough to not only be kind to yourself but also to give yourself permission to fully embrace the moment. A lifetime of sobriety can we daunting, even a hopeless thought when we get stuck romanticizing our addiction. However, forget tomorrow isn’t promised; dinner isn’t even promised! This isn’t to discourage hope for the future, please keep hoping!!! This is to refocus and ground you in the here and now. Be sober for this moment only, let the next one worry about itself. You have got this! Continue to count your blessings!
Thank you, I know I can go line dance and be sober, I just did it last Saturday. I plan to text all my friends and letthem knowthat i quit ahead of time to limit the offers and make it less awkward to reject them like i did last week. Thank you for the reminder that i am worthy of a sober life. Sometimes I lose sight of that. I had only been having drinks maybe 2-3 days a month max for the last 6 months so it won’t be a big jump just a different one that I need to do for the sake of myself and my kids. It scares me the idea of walking away from my healthiest coping mechanism because every few times i went i had a couple drinks. Im not the only sober one in the group either anymore so that helps too. I truly appreciate your kind words thank you