9th day into my recovery. I’m super proud of myself but my energy level is shot. Feeling pretty depressed. I had a complicated situation with the police the other night and lets just say it didn’t end well. I had my partner exscorted off my property and it was the right thing to do. It just makes me feel really down in the dumps. I’m bruised from the inside out. I haven’t been checking in the last couple days but I’m fine. Just coping. Sometimes it hard for me to reach out and talk about my feels. I just feel like my thoughts and emotions are so destructive that I tend to hold it in. Which guys I know is not healthy. Im working on it. Right now it’s just hard to focus my thoughts on just one thing. Everything kinda hurts. I don’t even want to use I’m so depressed. 
I guess it’s a blessing in disguise. But I’m also just so unmotivated right now that I literslly just want to lay in bed all day and watch 80s tv shows.
Hi Kiki, if laying in bed watching 80’s sitcoms is what you need to do, then go for it! Nothing wrong with that. I’m sending good vibes and thoughts your way. Hang in there, friend.
Thank you for supporting my procrastinating lazy ass. 
your good people
If that’s what it takes for now then so be it . 
I’m gonna agree with @LeeHawk on this. For me, early sobriety was a lot about “allowing” “loving myself” and letting any expectation (OTHER than staying sober) go completely. From what I remember also, you are dealing with a negative partnership situation. Your body and your nervous system and your soul might just be craving some relaxation and easy-ness. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. Stay strong lady 
The stress of a relationship and sobriety can be totally exhausting. Laying in bed with no motivation is perfectly fine at this stage of your recovery IMO. I see it as part of self care. As long as you’re sober, that’s all that matters. Sending you virtual hugs. 
You are welcome. Sun is shining here in KC, so getting out for a walk with dog. Than back home to finish Season Six of Schitt’s Creek. Take care of yourself today.
I still crave and I only have 24 days. Im thinking about dropping everything and driving 14 hours to surprise my son the Marine.
If it keeps you from using and it’s not forcing you to neglect responsibilities why not? I’m just neglecting bills I need to pay and unpack cause I just moved.
I still am craving shit, but I’m so depressed that I know that it’ll just make me feel worst.
Like right now. I want to use but I’m not going to. But damn it, it sounds appealing. My cats are giving me a look like no mama. 
I’m okay.
Keep staying strong, I promise you’ll feel better. We’re here beside you!
