This is the longest I’ve made it since I relapsed eight years ago.
It’s been both easy and hard. Some days I’m not tempted at all. Other days my alcoholic thinking tries to talk me into it all day long.
I feel like I’ve surrendered to the fact that drinking is unpredictable for me. I may have fun, but I may get reckless and self destructive.
I’ve tried to drink like a gentleman since I relapsed. I had some fun but I’ve put myself in dangerous scenarios to many times.
I feel really lucky and grateful to still be alive. I choose life.
I go to aa meetings when I can. I use this forum. I think about my thinking and redirect my thought when it comes to romanticizing that first drink. I stay away from slippery places and people.
I let throwing away 9.5 years of continuous sobriety mess with my head. I felt that lesser time had no worth for me. I’ve recognized that that type of thinking will continue to kill me.
Congratulations!! I know the first 90 days seemed like the hardest for me. It’s been getting easier and easier since then. I don’t mean that I don’t get tempted, because I do. I just find that my resolve is getting stronger. I know that relapse is always just one drink away, I’m not a fool, but I just don’t ever want to go back to the start again either.
