My Dad has stage 4 cancer and it’s taking his life, I’m very worried that when he does pass I’m not gonna have the strength or desire to continue on my sobriety path!
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I’m sorry man I lost my aunt who was like a mother to me to ovarian cancer almost 7 years ago and it still hurts butt with time became manageable. I sort of have the same reservation about my biological mom cuz besides her I have 2 more blood relatives and that’s it. Ones a sherm head, the other a drunk living in the streets. There’s one thing my sponsor told me that may get me through that reservation his story is this “I put my mother and father through hell with my addiction. When I finally got clean I started goin to meetings and got a sponsor. My father became terminally I’ll and because if that my sponsor had me make my amends early since I wasn’t on that step yet due to his life span being cut short. On my father’s death bed I told him Im here to make an amends. He looked at me and told me I want you to live you’re amends to me and I’ll be watching.” He has now been clean for 35 years. I hope this gives you some inspiration. Much love 
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I’m sorry for what’s happening Brian. Please look at what you are saying here with a clear mind. What will drinking help in dealing with this loss? Addiction is seeing it’s chance to get you back in its clutches. All it would give you is a brief escape from reality. Followed by a double whammy of grief and hangover. Drinking will make matters just so much worse. Think it through all the way to its conclusion friend. Drinking is not going to help you. It will do the total opposite. Take care. Wishing you success in dealing with what’s coming.
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Although of course not the same as losing a family member, I lost a friend to cancer a couple of years ago. I was still drinking when she was sick, I went to visit her at the hospital drunk once or twice, using the sadness of the situation as an excuse to drink. I got sober before the funeral. Dealing with the sadness and unfairness of her early death sober was so much better than the self-absorbed sadness drinking over her sickness caused. You can truly honor your dad sober, trust me.
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@Brian.colvin.sr my heart goes out to you. I fear my parents death and wonder if my sobriety is strong enough to weather their passing too
You have fear. That is good. It shows you that you value your sobriety. Build up your sober network and toolbox now. Prepare. Plan. And be prepared when things dont go as planned.
Spend quality time with your father. Tell him how much you love him. Hugs.
We’re here for you too
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I wish I had been sober when my dad died in 2005. I wish I had taken the time to process his loss without blurring everything with alcohol. But I didn’t. I quit drinking in 2014. When my mom died in 2020, one of the things I knew was how proud she was of me for maintaining my sobriety.
It’s terribly hard to lose a parent. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you will allow yourself to experience the grief without bathing in alcohol like I did when I lost my dad. The sadness doesn’t go away just because you temporarily numb yourself.
Take care of yourself.
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Oh man. I’m so sorry! Really lean in on your sober friends and community. One of my friends lost her wife unexpectedly. Her whole AA ladies group were at her house and took turns staying with her. I’m praying for you and your dad.
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