A boring and unoriginal story

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So, today was a bit odd and I am not too sure how to feel about this. I have been summoned to Asia next week by management and the reason is: part of this board is considering me for a promotion. Now corporate world being what it is, you can’t say no. You can fail the interview, and that’s ok. But if you say no, you’re out. And so… Here comes the stress again to show what I am made of (which until recently was mostly ethanol), and see my life turned up side down or not, yet again.

The stress is very high and very real. It’s a struggle… A few years ago, when I still had a family, this would have been an exciting time. Looking at the real chance to move, to live in a different country, learn a new language. But now, I’m stuck here.

So the choices were:

  • say no to the promotion and there fore quit.
  • trying to get the promotion but then if I have to relocate, I may have to quit, as I can’t abandon my kids here.
  • or fail on purpose the interview and see how it plays out.

And all that without a drink.

What a fucked up life.

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Europe is a big place with loads of cultural variety.

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Thank you @Tyland . Sometimes having a clearer mind helps to make decisions, you are right

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25

And so today… I am off to Korea for that meeting. Another weekend spent in planes and airports with strangers. Traveling by plane is actually quite challenging for people who have a tendency to drink. Because there is booze everywhere. You can board a flight and booze your way for free through 10 hours and blame it on jetlag on arrival. I actually never did that, mostly because what they serve is quite terrible and I have been sitting next to drunk people too many times to recognize the absolute shame of it.

I don’t fly business or anything fancy. But I fly so damn much for work the airline gave me access to their lounges and you know those suite-and-tie people who look down on you once in a while? Some get hammered in there for free starting 9AM. It’s so easy. Everything is accessible, you are anonymous, there are less people than “outside”. Most pretend they just landed from wherever where it is actually 18:00 so of course it’s ok.
I’ve seen it more than I can count. They are fighting the same battle as you are.

Sometimes when someone tries to give me a life lesson from a manager position, I reflect on this and maybe, he is not the gold star he thinks he is. [Corrected for typo]

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Safe travels to you. I only fly for holidays, but flying sober has been a huge improvement for me, as compared to drinking all I could get my hands on before. And being drunk. Using all the tricks, getting as much of the cheap airline drinks the crew would serve me, or having ‘good’ liquor mixed with cola bought taxfree and smuggled aboard. In retrospect it all sucked.

Flying economy is never a pleasure, but actually it’s much better to do when sober. For me anyway and for sure. I can read, I can watch a movie, I can walk around, maybe I can even have a small pleasant conversation. Under the influence I would just be hanging in my chair feeling miserable.

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Thank you for your relatable message. It brings some memories indeed. I don’t mind flying economy. Mostly because I am a statistical outlier: with my family and social background, I should be a mechanic somewhere our a factory worker (which I have been). And so, despite the tiredness of it, I actually enjoy flying, even in economy. Because I was never supposed to fly to those places.

So in a way, I count my blessing. It’s not confortable but it’s still a blessing compared to the vast majority of us who can’t fly. I think about that every time I board.

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So I made it to my destination eventually. It was a long 14h journey with a lot of temptation, from the planes, airport lounges, hotel bars, restaurants and nobody to check on me. But I must say I managed not to drink anything. Now ironically, I have a severe hangover due to lack of sleep and lag. :slight_smile:
So not fun, but still quite happy with my decisions of yesterday. Today will be easier but tomorrow is big meeting and customer dinners. It will be a challenge.

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Today is temptation day. Meetings and business lunch and dinners… It’s going to be tough. Yesterday night, a colleague of mine came and wanted to go for dinner. He had a glass of wine and was a bit surprised by my choice of ginger ale. But he did not say anything. It was just an awkward moment. The temptation is always so strong. And it’s so easy. It’s even not on my dime…
So let’s see how today plays out.

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Stay strong

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Thank you. It won’t be easy. A lot of stress and pressure on top of that.

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It will get easier. A new normal. What others think is of no consequence, this is about you. And you do this for you. Hope you’re doing good. You’re not alone Cleon.

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Glad you’re here with us :heart::people_hugging:
I hope you get the outcome that is best for you with the interview whatever that may be

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34

Perhaps it will help to think ahead on what you will order to drink? I don’t know, I really enjoy some sparkling water with a lemon slice in it, and it seems to be an accepted “grown up” drink. I’m sure others will have other suggestions. Anything like that?

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Yes that is also what I take in those occasion.

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Thank you for sharing.

You’re not alone. So many people have been in your shoes after suffering a divorce. It’s a common thing nowadays. Anyways, my hope that this step you’re taking here will be the start of a new fulfilling path for yourself. After 4 years, it’s time to move on.

You’re not a failure.
You’re not stuck. You can find solutions to your situation with your job, your kids, and your house. And you’re 50. You still have a lot of time. Don’t waste any more of it in grief.

Now, you are a single man, you can always find a new job. Fulfillment at work is not directly proportional to the amount of money that it pays.

Do you have to feel stuck in the house that you live in? Why not move? It’s a rural area. Probably has lots of available land. Land where one can build a new small shack or whatever you desire.

Do you have to grieve being alone? It sounds like you would rather have that old wife of yours come back to you. After she left you and pursued another man. If she doesn’t want you anymore, why would you want her back? Today, you can live your life without a care of what someone else feels. You can get up whenever you want. Go to bed whenever you want. Eat whenever and whatever you want. Spend your time however you please. Rearrange and clean your home however you want. No need to constantly accommodate someone else. There are a lot of benefits to being single. Embrace them. And what keeps you from eventually pursuing a new relationship for yourself? Nothing except you. And if you do, I hope you take advantage of this time to work on yourself so that you are a better version of yourself than you were 4 years ago.

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Look @KevinesKay , thank you for your message.
I value freedom of speech so your opinion on my situation is your own and I won’t take offense.

Just know that such comment without knowledge of the situation is not always the best demonstration of support.

I am someone who calls things as they are. And yes, if I did not succeed to keep my family whole, it is by definition a failure.

If I can only move in a 10 miles radius, I will call that being stuck because it’s the very definition of it.

I am sure, 100%, you have good intentions. But mislabeling what IS, is not a way to get a good assessment of a situation in life.

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How was your meeting @Cleon? Or is it tomorrow? I’m always confused by the timezone-lag with people all over the world.

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Luckily @erntedank, or not, the meeting was pushed to the next conference in United states. So it gives me breathing room. There is that at least

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I can see your point. You’re right. I don’t know the whole situation. But I’m glad I brought something up because I believe this is important.

I’m going to recite the promises of AA.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we’re halfway through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

The feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

When I first started this journey, I had a way different view on life than I do now. But I can attest that, over the years, every single one of these promises has come true for me. My hope and prayer is that they all come true for you too.

Are these extravagant promises? I don’t think so. They are being fulfilled among us. Sometimes quickly, in my case slowly. But they will always materialize if we work for them.

If you haven’t been to an AA meeting, I think it would be a good solution to bring more connection to your life. You deserve a better life.

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I agree and am an AA ADVOCATE. These promises are and have come true for me. 7 months sober tomorrow! I am so glad I found AA

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