I haven’t been this upset in a while. I’m just very discontent. I feel alone and like I don’t matter. I seriously might drink tomorrow. I’m already considering it. I was going to go for a walk after I hit a meeting and if that doesn’t make me feel better I think I honestly would drink. And I don’t want to! I just want my husband to be there for me instead of being my enemy and letting me deal with all of these emotions alone because he judging me. I can’t take this fake ass life anymore. I don’t know what to do. I have literally no one to talk about about this type of shit.
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There’s many of us here you can talk to! A lot of us go through or have gone through tough times, we understand. 
Hi! Its awesome that you are reaching out for help. I really shows that you are serious about not drinking. I know when I first quick my anger and attitude was not the best to put it nicely so I can relate.
It sounds like you’re doing the right things. Going to meetings and keeping busy. For me that was the big thing. I had to keep busy. I walked a lot, hit the gym, and volunteered at my AA meetings.
It does get better. Keep posting here for support. Reach out to your sponsor as much as you need.
You’ve got this!
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I’ve been where you’re at and the people on this forum helped me. We’re here for you Ivy.
Don’t plan that drink. We all know it’s not going to help your situation. Maybe talk about all this at your meeting and see if someone is willing to go for that walk with you. Or come on here and talk to us or just vent. Sending you hugs. 
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I hear you, it is easy for me to get in my own head and feel alone in this. Especially when I have two sick kids and my spouse continues to act like my help isn’t needed because of trust. I had a year and a half sober before two relapses and now I have two months and 1 day. We are separated at the moment but just got asked to spend the night at our house because my spouse doesn’t want to deprive me… I had to explain that my place place I have alone would be just that as it has been for the last month since I got out of Hazelden. I also wouldn’t be putting myself at risk of the flu which our son has confirmed because I brought him to the doctor today while my spouse had a fever… I can only pray which I did today all day for my higher power to give me understanding and patience during my recovery and my spouses. I know your higher power will do the same. Remember as I keep reminding myself it’s one day at a time and to let go and let God. This sobriety that I’ve had in the last two months has been better than the year and a half I had. Life only keeps getting better sober!
It can make it ultra hard when u feel ur partner is pulling against u. But in the end u have to do this for urself. U have to deal with ur own stuff, and then he can judge all he wants, it won’t be ur problem. It can be hard to think clearly when feeling fuck it, but will drinking help u deal with those emotions? Drinking alcohol will produce the fakest life of all.
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Hey girl, it ain’t worth it. You’ve made the choice to make a better you. Remember the reasons why? And do it for you.
Try talking to us. It does help
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Don’t prove that butthead husband off yours right! Just don’t okay. Your bigger your better.
You have a community you have meetings we support that and we think the world off you 
Be sober be you
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It’s not good that your husband is pulling against you, but unfortunately you have to find the strength to beat it.
I am realising that as a newly sober person, the world is designed/conditioned to work against me, because society seems to gravitate around alcohol.
I sometimes feel the same as you, I just want to say ‘fuck it’, but I know that the REAL me, the me who isn’t on drugs and alcohol is the me that I like best and somehow, till now… it is enough to see me through.
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Okay, your situation sucks, that’s a given. But let me tell you a magical story.
There is a girl (let’s pretend she’s not 38) who has been sober for 32 months. Yesterday she had a terrible day! People fighting at work, no one listening (she’s the manager/supervisor/whatever), a bunch of passive aggressive shit sent her way. She had a biiig ol fuckit day yesterday. Like, massive. But since she has already worked through these feelings a hundred times before the fuckit feeling was only emotional. Zero action was at risk. Because she had been exactly where you are many, many times, and made the right choice many, many times, the thought came and went and that was that.
Build the foundation of your recovery deep and strong, work hard through these days, and it becomes second nature. Your chance of real, long term success comes out of these early days struggles.
Most importantly, learn to breathe through ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
Don’t drink, please.
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How are uou doing today?
Kind of worse
It can be tough to go at this when significant others don’t understand what we’re going through but I’m thankful that my wife isn’t an alcoholic like I am. Don’t let the alcohol win because then you will have more problems than you do now. It’s okay to have bad days, quite normal actually.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Do it for yourself. Hopefully he will come around. Everyone has thier own stuff going on…but I wish he could be there for you the way you would like him to be. My father-in-law had a saying. Wish in one hand, shit in the other and see what fills up faster. Perhaps you could make some program friends who could be there in an even better way because theyve been there.
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Hello neighbor, when I get feeling that way I get into service. Staying involved in getting out of my head helps keep me on an even keel. The more I reach the hand of AA out and share my experience, strength, and hopes with people the better I feel about myself. I secretary several meetings here in Stockton each week staying in the middle of the herd. Ivy Mae please feel free to message me anytime. Good luck my friend. But for the grace of God go I…
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