This week in a new recovery group I’ve joined we were asked to write a letter to our past selves.
I chose to write to myself during the time I decided to go to detox and really put the effort into my recovery.
I was nervous about writing this because I didn’t know what I would say, but when I sat down to write it this morning it all flowed out.
A letter to my past self:
Dear Me,
I’ve always wondered what I would do if I could go back in time. What all would I do differently? Sometimes I tell myself I would have never started drinking; that I never would have done that first line. But I don’t really know if that’s true. What I do know is true is that I can’t go back, I can’t change things, and I have accepted that now. What I am writing to tell you is that everything will be okay, as cliche as it sounds, I mean it. I know this struggle feels like a never-ending nightmare but you will break the chains and end the cycle. Your life will get lighter. I want to tell you how proud I am of you for never giving up the fight and being brave enough to reach out your hand and ask for help. For choosing life and deciding it was time to start doing the work. You’re going to continue to make yourself proud and learn to love yourself like you never have before, although you have always been worthy of your own love. Every failed attempt has served as a lesson setting the stepping stones for the path you’re about to embark on. I want to tell you that your going to accomplish more in the next 10 months than you have throughout the entirety of your addiction. You will walk through hell this one last time and come out whole on the other side. You will find clarity and understand there is no shame in your past and sharing your story about your struggle could come to inspire others. Take it easy on yourself for now, and know that you’re going to get it this time. I love you, and I can’t wait to see the great things you will accomplish in your journey of recovery.
