Today was a great day. I’ve been with my family, went and bought a ton of books, got my bday Starbucks, then went to a hibachi dinner show. Good thing they didn’t try to spray sake at me…
As much as I enjoyed, I day dreamed about drinking. I thought, today is about as good as it gets. Somehow I can’t bask in it like I should. That’s always been my problem.
I don’t have any passion. None. Nothing seems worth doing. I don’t endeavor to be anything more than I am.
I’m glad I’m not hung over and dreading reading text messages or cleaning up vomit off the floor… Again… But it doesn’t seem like much of a prize. I go through the motions like I’m supposed to and that’s about all.
It’ll come.
Don’t expect sobriety to be all rainbows and unicorns shit. It’s still just life, just sober.
I am finding that some days are far better than others.
But the main thing I remember is I’m not killing myself, my relationship or anything else.
And for that I am grateful every morning.
It’s just you but better you.
you can’t see the woods for the trees, the biggest gift you received this day was the power to stay sober, don’t go looking for external gratitude, you did this, YOU ARE AMAZING
Sounds like a good birthday…wait, a great birthday…cuz you are sober!
Sobriety doesn’t change life…life still has peaks and valleys. It also does not change your chemical makeup. So if you are needing medical assistance to reset yourself, by all means find some help. When my anxiety suddenly ramped way the eff up when sober…into panic attacks and such
… I took Lexapro to even myself out and reset…it helped so much. If current meds are not helping, try different ones, it can take time to find the right mix.
I also find physical activity helps me body, mind and soul. If you can get out in nature and walk, ride, run, shuffle…it can help.
I hope you get your spark back. Please don’t give up!!
Happy birthday Brad! Life is different sober. It gets better, but sometimes requires outside help. I see a therapist and discuss medications with my doctor as and when necessary. Well done for a sober birthday!
mine is next week! 