NA has approved a new piece of literature!!! Some of you may already have access to it while others may not have even heard of it. Our literature is written by addicts for addicts and this book is a daily meditation reading based on spiritual principles. It will be available in hard copy in September via https://www.na.org/?ID=literature , until then anyone can subscribe to having daily emails of the readings sent to them. I have subscribed so would love to share the readings with you starting today.
Enjoy
11 AUGUST
Harmony in Spite of Conflict
When we practice living in harmony with our world, we become wiser about choosing our battles. We learn where we can use our energy to make a difference and where we need to let go.
—Living Clean, Chapter 3, “Awakening to Our Spirituality”
Freedom of choice is a new concept for most of us in recovery. Recovery allows us to start to make healthy choices for ourselves and to consider the consequences of those choices for everyone involved. We begin to realize that we are not the center of the universe and strive to practice goodwill. Living in harmony with the world comes easily when our interactions with others are guided by mutual respect. We may be unaccustomed to disagreeing without being disagreeable, but we can see the benefits of this approach.
When we’re engaged with life, disagreements and conflicts come with the territory. In recovery, we learn to navigate confrontations differently than we had in the past. None of us gets clean to be a doormat, so we’ve got to learn to defend ourselves and fight for our passions in principled ways.
With practice, we become less impulsive in our actions and take time to decide where we want to spend our energy. One member described how he questions his own thought process: “Am I championing this cause as a matter of principle or pride? Is this my battle, or do I need to let go?” We learn from our mistakes and those of others, and we consider the suggestions made by members of our support group more often. We grow to understand the preciousness of time. With only 24 hours in a day, we choose to find our way through conflict in ways that preserve our dignity and foster harmony.
I will take a deep breath as I decide how to spend my time and energy. Today I will choose responses that preserve my dignity and that of those around me.
12 AUGUST
Finding Grace in the Process
Spiritual awakening is a process. Maybe it is what the whole process is about. We nurture our awakening spirits and know that we are finally free to live in grace, integrity, and dignity.
—Living Clean, Chapter 3, “Creative Action of Spirit”
When we were using drugs, our spirits slowly eroded as our disease progressed. We compromised our beliefs and screwed over anyone who got in the way of our self‐serving plans. The journey from desperation to spiritual awakening is a long and storied path for each of us.
A pink cloud may protect us from the jagged edges of life on life’s terms for a time, but reality sets in sooner or later. Eventually, we will walk through the death of someone close to us or perhaps go through a painful divorce with years clean. We each deal with loss differently. Our initial response may be to avoid our feelings, instead seeking comfort in food or sex or gaming. With time, we learn to rely on a power greater than ourselves and our support group to navigate overwhelming feelings. When we let go and surrender to the process, our spirits are free to awaken.
Grace teaches us to let things unfold naturally and let go of the illusion of control. We’re less invested in outcomes, and we focus instead on aligning our will with the greater good. We open our minds to the possibilities and pay attention to opportunities as well as to closed doors. We live in the moment and enjoy the freedom that comes with grace.
I will let go of my expectations and enjoy the clarity of the moment. I will allow myself to be present for the evolution of my spiritual journey and revel in the grace of living just for today.
13 AUGUST
Anonymity and Individuality
In anonymity, we are free to be ourselves and to carry and receive a message of hope with the addict who suffers, regardless of whenever, wherever, or whoever they might be.
—Guiding Principles, Tradition Twelve, Closing Reflection
We live in the world where—consciously and unconsciously—we adjust how we speak and behave at times to fit our circumstances. We avoid certain four‐letter words when talking to Granny or the boss, for example. We greet each other in different ways, too. A handshake, a bow, or a fist bump may be called for, depending on the situation, or maybe cheek‐to‐cheek air kisses—one, two, or three. The point is that people—even nonaddicts—adapt as a sign of respect or solidarity.
But as with so many other characteristics, addicts can take this natural inclination to extremes. In active addiction, we scaled up our capacity to “read” situations and leveraged this skill set to get what we needed. Instead of being flexible to connect with others, we were cunning manipulators trying to get our way.
Recovery helps us return this ability to its proper proportions. Working the Steps helps us figure out who we are and then supports our efforts to be and do our best. What a relief! We can be more secure in our own identities and less like chameleons today. Practicing the spiritual principle of anonymity does not mean losing our individuality. In reality, the very character of Narcotics Anonymous relies, in part, on “the rough‐and‐tumble liveliness that arises from the diverse personalities of our members,” as stated in It Works: How and Why.
In being our weird, wonderful selves, we allow a broader range of addicts to connect with the message and come to believe that NA might work for them, too. Collectively and individually, we are NA’s best asset. In fact, we are NA. When we share from the heart, others connect. Being ourselves to the best of our ability makes way for others to do the same. There is a place for all of us in NA. We all fit in when we focus on carrying and receiving our message of hope.
I will share my unvarnished experience today, knowing that sincerity and genuineness are far more important than polish or pretense. NA needs me to be me—no more, no less. Turns out I need that, too.
Oooof. Sometimes I feel the universe is speaking to me. Well not sometimes. Most times. I have been on the fence about doing a speaker meeting because I have been feeling insecure about it for some reason. Many times over the last few says there have been signs that I am ready.
I think I will get in touch with the organizer and say that I will do it.
14 AUGUST
Surrendering Shortcomings
In the Seventh Step, we take our surrender to a deeper level. What began in Step One with an acknowledgment of our addiction now includes an acknowledgment of the shortcomings that go along with our addiction.
—NA Step Working Guides, Step Seven, “Spiritual Principles”
The Steps are in order for a reason; each one prepares us for the next. We acknowledge that our way hasn’t worked when we surrender to Step One. Some members boil it down to a single acknowledgment: I need something different. This admission opens the door for us to recognize our need for restoration in Step Two and to make a decision in Step Three.
With each of these first three Steps, we surrender a little more. In exchange, we gain hope and enjoy glimpses of freedom.
Surrender takes on new meaning when we get to Steps Six and Seven. Sure, we were sick of some shortcomings, but others were still useful. We were rather fond of one or two that we believed defined us. Still other defects kept us safe; we may even credit some of them with our survival out there. To become entirely ready to release the whole list, we ask ourselves, “Are they still serving us in our new way of life? What would life be like without them?” The answer is always “a little freer.”
With humility, we surrender our shortcomings to a Higher Power and ask for them to be removed. More than one sponsor has pointed out that “the Seventh Step doesn’t go on to say ‘and we lived happily ever after without them,’ does it?” Instead, this Step Seven surrender opens us to guidance and requires us to do some more work. Many of us find that we’re more receptive to the suggestions of our sponsors, trusted friends, and our own insights. When we start to feel ourselves reach for a defective reaction, we make an effort to choose a principled response instead. We surrender, again and again, deepening our commitment to living by spiritual principles and inviting them to counter our worst instincts.
Each time one of my shortcomings seems appealing, that’s when I can practice surrender. The gifts of surrender are available to me each day.
15 AUGUST
Guided by Conscience
We come to know our intentions. We get better at hearing our own voice, our own conscience, and listening to our instincts.
—Living Clean, Chapter 5, “Conscious Contact”
Even those of us who were raised by wolves were taught the difference between right and wrong. The code of ethics we inherited may have been a bit twisted, but it gave us a point of reference nonetheless. As a result, many of us suffered from a guilty conscience when we screwed up or caused harm early in our using careers. At some point, though, we made a choice—knowingly or not—to behave in ways that were contrary to the values we had internalized. It’s not that we lacked a moral compass; we’d just put it away for a bit. On those occasions when we still felt bad, we turned to denial, defensiveness, and drugs—lots of drugs—to help us stuff the discomfort of a guilty conscience.
Our awareness of that still, quiet voice within starts to return almost as soon as we put down the drugs. Our first reunion with our conscience can feel pretty distressing. Without drugs to mask our feelings, many of us experience an uncut dose of the shame we’d been stuffing for years. We’re relieved to read that “we are not responsible for our disease” in the Basic Text. People who know their way around the Twelve Steps assure us that the second half of that sentence, “we are responsible for our recovery,” will help us make peace with the past and develop our own conscience.
We begin to tune in to what’s right for us and focus on aligning our actions with spiritual principles and our own values. We learn—sometimes through trial and error—to behave in ways we can be proud of. Not wanting to pay a spiritual price, we’re slower to act out on our most basic urges and selfish desires, so we do so less frequently. We can even observe our impulses without acting on them—who knew? With practice, we recalibrate our value system and develop a code of behavior that reflects our intentions.
I will listen for the reawakened voice of my conscience knowing that it reflects my beliefs and intentions.
That speaks so much to me. I find myself “not acting” on impulses or not reacting at all a lot and really attempting to focus on WHAT I want my behavior to be like today or in the future. I fail, frequently but I also do well frequently and feel like I’m on a good path to “recalibrating” my value system. Time will tell if im making real and positive progress lol, but I do feel like I am, those around me have noticed some positive changes.
Thank you for sharing, lots to let resonate here.
17 AUGUST
Willingness to Change
When we take the Serenity Prayer seriously and really consider what in our lives we do have the courage to change, we find that our ability to shape our lives is limited more by our willingness than by anything outside ourselves.
—Living Clean, Chapter 6, “Finding Our Place in the World”
We say the Serenity Prayer so often in NA meetings that it’s easy to do it by rote, without intention or commitment. “Sometimes I forget that it’s actually a prayer,” one member reflected. “It was only when it was suggested that I say it outside of meetings as a prayer for willingness that I began to connect to it, to really use it to help me in a moment of strife, confusion, or indecision.”
“It helps me get real,” another member offered. “I need to know what I can change before mustering up the courage to do it. Most of the time it’s me that’s standing in my own way. Not my past. Not my upbringing, or my culture, or institutions, or even other people. Just this addict.”
Change is hard because it’s often painful. Our current level of discomfort is familiar, at least. Trading it in for the unknown seems risky. We fear the pain will be worse on the other side of a decision. Who wants to experience rejection or failure? Or what if we succeed? Then, there may be a slew of new responsibilities to deal with. Will we be able to manage those? In the simplest terms, these are fears that limit our capacity to grow.
Change is even harder when we view the world as hostile to us, when we listen to the voice in our heads telling us “you can’t” or “don’t do it.” Ignoring that voice and practicing willingness to change the things we can—and then taking an action toward that change we want to make—requires a lot. We have to simultaneously accept where we are right now and be willing to take a risk.
There are lessons to be learned, no matter how things turn out. A bonus of NA membership is that we get to report back and share those with each other.
I’ll carefully consider what I have the power to change in my life right now. Instead of cursing the dark, I pray for willingness to change the lightbulb. Sometimes it is that simple.
18 AUGUST
Perseverance Pays Off
Caring for our spiritual condition is like cleaning the house: If we want the benefit, the work must be ongoing.
—Living Clean, Chapter 1, “A Vision of Hope”
We experience peace of mind and freedom when we consistently work on our spiritual fitness. We get in a groove of daily inventories, prayer and meditation, and helping other addicts. The results are obvious, and it feels great to be comfortable in our own skin, connected to a Higher Power and to others in recovery. It’s a beautiful thing—until we sabotage it!
Just as it’s easier to keep a home tidy after we’ve done a thorough cleaning, steady work on our recovery yields consistently good results. And yet, it’s so flipping easy to skip our daily inventory and, before we know it, several days or weeks or months have passed. It’s no surprise when we lose perspective and our lives become unmanageable again. We sit down, reluctantly, and recommit to our Tenth Step. A sense of relief returns. Maybe next time, we’ll only wait a few days before we sit down to write. Progress!
We may not be hardwired to persevere, but we get better at it with practice. We can start again at any time. We don’t need to devolve into a state of desperation before we reach for solutions; today, we can be inspired to do the work of ongoing recovery. We notice the sense of ease we enjoy when we stay immersed in the process. We put one foot in front of the other and persevere.
Each of us develops a routine that works for us, built from the suggestions shared in the experience of others. “When I see a member struggling, I always tell them that my best days start with a quick prayer before my feet hit the floor,” one member shared. Another shared about their eclectic approach to meditation: “A couple of deep breaths in the shower or a long walk after dinner does it for me.” The trick is sticking with it and, when that fails, getting back to it.
I will evaluate my spiritual condition today. Am I getting the results I want from my current routine, or is it time for a spiritual deep cleaning?
Perseverance has always been hard for me. I start something and even if I see benefits or really like it, often it will peter off. I have gotten quite a bit better since being in recovery but I still really need to stay on top of it.
I am loving this new literature, glad you’re stopping by.
19 AUGUST
Inclusiveness Means Any Addict
All addicted persons are welcome and equal in obtaining the relief that they are seeking from their addiction; every addict can recover in this program on an equal basis.
—Basic Text, Chapter 6, “Tradition Three”
Many of us who have been around NA for a little while have no doubt that the NA program is for any addict. Our literature and our Traditions clearly state that any addict with a desire to stop using should be able to find a place in our Fellowship. Making that ideal into a reality requires more than telling newcomers to “focus on the similarities, rather than the differences”—it requires us to actively make space in our meetings for any addict, “regardless of . . .”
“I was the only person who looked like me in the rooms where I got clean,” a member shared. “People told me to focus on the similarities, and all I could think was, That’s pretty easy for all of you—everyone looks like you! Then I heard someone say, ‘One day you’ll hear someone who is nothing like you share your story,’ and it clicked. I needed to hear that it’s okay that we’re not all the same—our stories are similar even when we’re not. I don’t have to ignore real parts of who I am to belong here.”
Making space for any addict requires taking an honest look at ourselves and our communities. Society outside of our meetings has all sorts of social strata. Differences in language, ethnicity, culture, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability, and financial status can present challenges—and some might prefer it if distinctions like these melted away at the door to our meeting. But they’re often all wrapped up in who we are as people, and our distinctions are assets to NA, not problems to be solved. We can tell newcomers that our differences don’t matter, but if our meetings are largely made up of people from similar backgrounds, it can look like NA is no more inclusive than the rest of society. When we share openly about our differences and encourage others to do so, too, our distinctions enrich the NA Fellowship. Being who we are helps newcomers identify and relate—and stay.
Focusing on the similarities does not mean I need to ignore the differences. I will share honestly about who I am, differences and all—and honor the experiences of addicts who are not like me.
This has been huge for me as I recover from my eating disorder in the rooms of NA. I share openly about my struggles and just this past Monday a member commented on how it had helped him feel safe enough to be vulnerable. I am slowly learning that who I am is something to be proud of, differences and all.
20 AUGUST
Practicing Service in All Our Affairs
Service gives us opportunities to grow in ways that touch all parts of our lives.
—Basic Text, Chapter 9: Just for Today—Living the Program
The Basic Text describes who we used to be in active addiction as “devious, frightened loners.” Many of us come to NA with very limited healthy and productive life experience. We may never have held a legal, on‐the‐books job and don’t have the skills to get one. Or we may have skills and experience, but our dodgy work history reflects our using more than our employability. Our relationships, if they even still exist, are a mess—with our loved ones, with ourselves, with a Higher Power. Our self‐serving behavior and our aversion to being truly vulnerable and intimate with others have kept us isolated. And then there’s the spiritual deadness so many of us arrive with—and either the hardness or the utter fearfulness that comes with it.
In meetings, we hear members share that their lives are “bigger,” “amazing,” and “beyond my wildest dreams.” Initially, we are skeptical at best, especially when they also tell us that it’s not because of material gains but because of what they’ve gained by being of service to Narcotics Anonymous. A member shared, “Through service, my relationship to humanity was restored.” Seriously? ALL of humanity?
Most of us get involved in service because we’re told, “That’s how we stay clean.” We don’t fully grasp its holistic benefits until we experience them ourselves. Through our NA commitments, we learn basic accounting, public speaking, and good communication skills. We learn how to listen—in meetings, to a fellow member who needs to vent, to people we don’t even like. We learn how to treat others with respect when we disagree. We learn to show up to do the job no matter what. And more.
These are qualities we take with us wherever we go, in all our affairs. NA doesn’t just help us stay clean; it transforms us into people who can make a positive impact inside and outside of the rooms.
What aspects of my life have been touched by NA service? Through service, what can I do today—at work, at home, or wherever I go—to make a positive impact?
21 AUGUST
Faith to Let Go
We plan for the future just for today and let go of the outcome, even when we really want it.
—Living Clean, Chapter 1, “Why We Stay”
Early in recovery, many of us are told, “Hey, don’t future‐trip!” when we express certainty that disaster lies ahead, no matter what we might do to prevent it, including staying clean and working a program. In NA, we frequently and actively encourage each other to be in the present moment, to focus on today and what is directly in front of us, instead of fearing what may come to pass.
But let’s not be confused about what this means. We can and should plan for the future. We can allow ourselves to want a better life, full of good stuff—even really, really want it. We can’t let fear of the unknown prevent our progress. Enacting the future we desire depends upon our willingness to plot steps in the direction of our vision and our desires . . . and having faith that we are going to be okay, no matter the outcome.
What we need to be cautious about, however, are expectations. Because we’ve let ourselves really want something, dare to hope for it, even (gasp!) fantasize about getting it, a loss can really shake us. But we can’t let disappointment, or feelings of entitlement, rob us of the faith in ourselves that can feel so fragile at such times. We also can’t succumb to the temptation to let a single failure, despite all of our good intentions and hard work, define us and stop us from trying again. One of faith’s toughest and most rewarding lessons is when we do everything in our power to succeed, turn over the rest, lose out, learn from it, and be okay to let it go. That’s a moment of freedom to savor, because it strengthens our faith to try again.
And there may even be times when the outcome we’ve experienced initially as utter failure turns out to be the best possible result that could have happened. Faith, perspective, and time often work together in ways that create insights we could never have imagined.
I won’t let fear and uncertainty stop me from wanting more out of life. Faith will help me get my plan in action, find some acceptance, and help me stay out of—and deal with—the results, whatever they may be.
Have found spiritual and Buddhist practices to be game changing recently. Appreciate this thread and the information.
The Dhammapada has a whole chapter on craving as well as regular mentioning of it throughout which, as an addict, I found really interesting.
Thanks again for posting!
Me too my friend, me too. I am happy you found the thread.
22 AUGUST
Trust and the Fifth Step
This may be the first time we’ve ever trusted another person enough to tell her or him about ourselves and allow that person to get to know us.
—It Works, Step Five
We addicts have lots of stories. What some consider to be deep, dark secrets others easily share, sometimes even as badges of honor. Many of us are fine with divulging the goriest details of our using days, the mayhem of our childhoods, and our experiences of victimization. Regarding the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we think, No problem, I am an open book! But, as we do the work that is suggested, perhaps using the Step Working Guides, there’s a depth inherent in those questions that goes way beyond our comfort. Exposing our own part in situations turns out to be messy, agonizing, and illuminating all at once. For many of us, our pettiness, our unforgiving nature or unkind acts, our ego on blast, our shame: These carefully guarded parts of ourselves turn out to be far more significant than the dramatic tales we thought we’d tell.
Thankfully, we’ve had the benefit and experience of the previous Steps to build trust in the program, each other, a Higher Power, and our sponsor. The Fifth Step is an opportunity for us to open our whole book and have another human being bear witness to the stories about ourselves that are the hardest to tell. As much as we’d been nervous about sharing our inventory with another person, it’s the first time we’ve admitted much of this business to ourselves.
Building a bond of trust takes courage as well as vulnerability. As we exercise that bond, a weight is lifted off our shoulders: We reveal the truth about ourselves and we’re not rejected. Many of us don’t even realize how distant we’ve been in our relationships as a result of the secrets we’d guarded. And often being seen as truly ourselves by one person allows us to feel much lighter and more open in other relationships. One bond of trust inspires us to form others.
I’m willing to practice trust by sharing my whole story with another person. I aim to build upon my ability to trust and be trustworthy by applying what I’ve learned to other relationships
23 AUGUST
Striving for Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is our reward for letting go of anger and resentment.
—Living Clean, Chapter 7, “Principles, Practice, and Perspective”
Perhaps we’ve all encountered circumstances when another member gets on our last nerve. When that happens, sometimes it takes everything in us not to attack them, mock them, shut them down using whatever tactic we can. We may want to bolt from the room because we see how this person—who may or may not have wronged us in some way—enjoys the respect of other members in the group. We want to expose them as a fraud and a hypocrite, but we don’t. We say nothing because we know our personal feelings about another member should play no role in how, for instance, our area contributes to the region’s Fellowship development efforts.
At other business meetings, we’ll have no problem keeping our mouths shut because we’d much rather roll our eyes—and smugly watch the same two members battle it out like they always do over the finer points of coordinating an effective public relations campaign. In those situations, we have to stop ourselves from sharing the eye roll with everyone else in the room, revealing our displeasure with the proceedings. We’d love to break our silence by audibly groaning at how much time they are taking up. A member shared, “The second I start thinking about how I’m the only adult in the room, I know I’m not coming from a place of emotional maturity.”
With some practice, we can learn to check ourselves in situations where previously the monster that lives in our head would have burst out in full force in an effort to kill the proceedings. Similarly, we find a way to restrain our inner adolescent, who would snark, scoff, and snipe at members merely for being themselves.
Emotional maturity may not sound like a big enough reward for not acting out on our character defects—but doesn’t it make our lives so much more manageable? And peaceful? And isn’t that a big part of why we came here in the first place?
I will practice reining in my reactiveness in situations where my personal feelings about other members serve no relevant purpose. Today emotional maturity is a reasonable reward for those efforts.
Oh this has been a work in progress for me my whole life. I have one of those faces where I cant hide what I feel. Lol so I’ve been working on keeping a slight, forced smile on my face when im in a situation where my face would give away what I’m thinking. Im getting better at keeping g my mouth shut and praying before I speak. Is it helpful or hurtful? Thats a question I ask probably a few hundred times a day now. Im a worl in progress and this part still has lots of progress to be made. But I am working on it.
Thank you for sharing.