A Spiritual Principle A Day / Daily Meditation

Motivation
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24 AUGUST

Finding Healing in Humor

The way we share . . . finding humor in some of the darkest, most frightening things that have happened to us—is not always available outside the rooms.

—Living Clean, Chapter 2, “Connection to the World Around Us”

In NA, we often get to know each other from the inside out. “I knew the biggest hopes and fears of some of the members of my home group before I knew their last names or what kind of jobs they had,” one member shared. We may never know the inner life of nonaddicts the way we know each other in NA—and it’s a big part of why we’re able to laugh with and poke fun at our fellow NA members.

Humor often comes in the form of a surprising or unexpected gap between expectation and reality. In society, there are lots of expectations about how people ought to act around one another—expectations that we addicts disregard completely. The nonaddicts in our lives often do not see what’s so funny. Sometimes that’s the joke: “Normal” people act one way; we addicts act very differently. When we hear members share their bizarre ideas and actions, we relate and are relieved that we’re not alone.

Many of us find a deep well of humor in the way denial framed our experience. Sometimes that’s the joke. “I thought my life was like something out of a big‐shot gangster film— money and drugs and lots of drama. In reality, it was more like a depressing ad for keeping your kids off drugs.” The stark contrast between reality and the imagined movie version of our stories might seem pathetic or deranged to outsiders, but we lived to tell—and we can knowingly laugh at ourselves today.

Humor helps us heal as we come to terms with the reality of our lives. We see the outrageous gap between our behaviors and what “polite” society expects. (Of course, there are gaps—we’re square pegs in round holes!) Or we notice the laughable distance between our lives and our fantasies. We share our inner selves in a way we can’t anywhere else, often giving our fellow members a good chuckle. We stop taking ourselves so seriously, let our flaws show, and start to grow. It can be very funny, but it’s no joke!

By sharing my insides with other addicts, I can learn to laugh at the insanity of addiction—and let go of it, little by little

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25 AUGUST

A New Meaning for Love

How we go about getting love is where our defects come into play.

—NA Step Working Guides, Step Six, “Our Defects of Character”

Before coming to the Fellowship of NA, we had a distorted sense of both giving and receiving love. Now that we’re clean, we’ve got love all figured out . . . if only that were true! It doesn’t matter how much time we have clean (or what type of love we are talking about); love is a serious business that requires vigilance.

Where and how do we addicts go looking for love? When we write our inventories and listen to those of our sponsees, that question is answered in abundance. We hear many stories of unmet expectations, abandonment by parents and partners, abuse, and neglect. Others are about relationships sought, gained, and sustained through manipulation and passive‐aggressive behaviors—and sometimes coercive acts. We hear about love being confused with the exchange of sex, money, and, of course, drugs.

We did those things to others, and others did them to us. And many of those behaviors will appear in future inventories because our character defects will rear their ugly heads again. The difference is that in NA we have the opportunity to seek and express love in ways that are manifestations of our assets, rather than our defects.

In NA, we get to experience the unconditional love of the Fellowship. We learn how to love and care for people in the rooms, as we learn how to accept that same love and care from others. Also, we will have abundant opportunities outside the rooms to apply the principles of love. Through working the Steps honestly and thoroughly, we are far less likely to try to manipulate and control others—or let ourselves be manipulated and controlled.

I am learning new ways to give and receive love. I don’t have to act on my defects to experience love anymore. I will try to love those in my life with acceptance instead of expectations today.

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26 AUGUST

Choosing Intimacy over Isolation

Caring and sharing the NA way is the ultimate weapon against our alienating, isolating, destructive disease.

—Living Clean, Chapter 5: Relationships, Opening Essay

Experiencing loneliness is an inevitable part of the human condition. For many addicts, this loneliness is amplified by how different we’ve felt from our peers. We’ve had trouble fitting in, or we’re just plain weird. We needed too much attention and alienated others in our efforts to get it. Or we wanted none of that; instead, we stayed silent and hoped that others wouldn’t notice us.

Drugs helped us deal with those feelings and experiences. Initially, using made us feel more “normal,” more comfortable in our own skin. It allowed us to be more social and, most importantly, created a buffer to keep us safe from intimacy and vulnerability.

Early in recovery, we learn that our disease is fueled not only by getting loaded, but by keeping us isolated from others and from ourselves. When we first get clean and we don’t have drugs as that extra layer of defense, we are raw.

Narcotics Anonymous provides us with opportunities to heal that rawness—through intimate relationships with other addicts. Allowing ourselves to share fearlessly with another addict is truly the salve for our isolation. Even with years clean, a voice in our heads will tell us that we are better off dealing with (or not dealing with) our problems alone. However, we know the act of revealing ourselves and being present for others is the most powerful antidote to our very human state of loneliness—and to our default addict state of believing we are just too weird.

Even though sharing may be uncomfortable, I will take a risk and allow myself to be seen by another addict. I will choose connection over isolation.

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27 AUGUST

Discernment and Autonomy

As we mature in recovery, we learn to exercise sound judgment in how we make decisions, place our trust, and meet our responsibilities.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Four, Opening Essay

Stepwork, living clean, and the passage of time bring the gift of maturity to NA members. We gather practical experience as we take on various roles in NA—as home‐group members, sponsors, and trusted servants. Each allows us to grapple with the meaning and application of the Traditions in real‐life contexts and become more skilled at discernment as we do. We grasp how each Tradition works individually and discern how the tension between them creates balance.

For example, Tradition Four’s assertion that “each group should be autonomous” makes it a favorite, especially when we want to validate any unconventional means of fulfilling our primary purpose. The Tradition doesn’t stop there—unless we’re trying to manipulate—and what follows provides some pretty clear instructions about the limits to autonomy: “except in matters affecting other groups or NA as a whole.” The other eleven Traditions point to the kinds of things that threaten to do just that. Being mature and responsible members of NA—or at least aspiring to be—we lean into discernment to sort out whether or not expressions of autonomy are in harmony with the principles of the other Traditions.

To make sound decisions, we invite a loving Higher Power to influence our group conscience, as Tradition Two suggests. NA groups and communities arrive at group conscience by different paths, but we share some common markers: We come together in unity, we honor and include multiple perspectives, and we create space for honest and open communication. When we listen for the will of a loving God, we are practicing discernment. It pays off as we find a spiritual way forward, enlist trustworthy members to serve, and meet our responsibilities to provide them with the resources and support they need to carry out the work.

I will review my personal decision‐making process and be more discerning about how I contribute to shaping my group’s conscience. Sound judgment— my own and my group’s—is a worthy goal.

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28 AUGUST

Treating Ourselves with Respect

We start by not engaging in self‐abuse and gradually learn to treat our body, mind, and spirit with honor and respect.

—Living Clean, Chapter 4, “Wellness and Health”

Many of us could accurately describe our active addiction as “suicide on the installment plan.” Thankfully, when we stop using drugs, we eliminate a main catalyst of our self‐ destructive behavior. Without the compulsion to get high, it’s easier to avoid the degradation and criminality that brought us to new lows again and again.

Abstinence is one clear marker of our restoration to sanity, and it’s certainly a good place to start. Being clean allows us to think more clearly, and that clarity enables us to consider who we’ve been and who we want to be. The Steps offer guidance as we examine our lives, our motivations, and our choices. We learn from the experience of other recovering addicts, and it gives us the courage we need to strip away the guilt, remorse, and shame.

Taking care of our whole selves—body, mind, and spirit—is part of the amends we make to ourselves. Addiction touches all areas of our lives, and so must our recovery. Many of us seek professional help to find specific healing. One addict shared, “My first sponsor explained that doctors, dentists, and therapists can also be powers greater than myself.”

Still, many of us struggle with the urge to undermine our success or to sabotage healthy impulses. Progress is often two steps forward, one step back—but that’s progress, nonetheless. As with using, we become aware of harmful habits before we’re willing or able to make a change for the better. Our tolerance for self‐deception lessens as we gain self‐ respect. With the help of our Higher Power, we’re quicker to learn the lessons, to stop unhealthy habits, or to take up new practices that honor our body, mind, and spirit.

I will honor my recovery process and treat myself with respect today. What can I start or stop doing to better care for myself?

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29 AUGUST

Hope in Darkness and in Light

We find [hope] again and again as our journey continues: In the dark moments when we realize we can go on anyway, and in our triumphs—it is possible.

—Living Clean, Chapter 7, “Living Our Principles”

The first bit of hope we experienced in NA came from a place of defeat. Using drugs hadn’t worked for us. Our grand experiment of solving our living problems with mind‐ and mood‐ altering substances was a profound failure. In that dark place, though, a ray of light shone through: We could find a way out of addiction and into recovery.

Once we have been clean for a while, many of our hopes come from more positive places. We think about how much more we can accomplish with our career goals, our creative endeavors, our loving relationships. Maybe we want to sponsor more addicts or try out new service positions.

Having hope for the good things that will come our way is great, but we would do well to remember how much more precious hope can be when we have very little of it. We are bound to experience tremendous disappointments when we stay clean for years and decades, some of which rattle us to our very core. We bury parents, children, siblings, or spouses—and lots of fellow addicts. We lose jobs and relationships, we make terrible mistakes, and hurt people we love. Guilt, shame, and loneliness take up so much space in the room that it’s hard to make any space for hope, even when it is what we most desperately need.

Hope is why we must stay in the practice of going to meetings, sharing, calling our sponsor, reading literature, and talking to other addicts when life is going well for us. We get to see clean addicts find their way through incredible difficulties by showing up—no matter how fragile or broken—and putting themselves in the position to receive some hope. When we find ourselves there, fragile or broken, we think of the others we have seen walk through it, and we know it can be done. We must go on—together, we can.

I will pay attention to members going through the unthinkable and do my best to offer them hope. If I am one of those members, I will go where I know I can find hope—to an NA meeting.

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30 AUGUST

The Value of Honest Self‐Assessment

Honest self‐assessment is one of the keys to our new way of life.

—Basic Text, Chapter 4, “Step Four”

As we begin to work on the Fourth Step for the first time, it’s highly likely we already have an opinion about it. Chances are that it’s not very positive. Most of the words of this Step are daunting in their own right. Searching. Fearless. Moral. Inventory. Ourselves. That last one is the core of it. We will be getting to know ourselves honestly, something that most of us have had limited experience doing prior to getting clean. Isn’t that who we ran from for so long?

By the time we get to Step Four, we’re already practicing some self‐honesty. We’ve admitted that we are powerless over our addiction and that we need help. The next step is to learn what we’re holding on to that is keeping us from progressing in our lives. We identify our resentments toward other people, institutions, and ourselves. We look at our guilt and shame, our fears, our sexual and relationship behaviors, abuses we’ve suffered and wrought upon others, and our secrets.

Working Step Four also provides another, perhaps unexpected, gift—revealing our assets. For many of us, this is the most difficult part. We tend to be far more comfortable obsessing about what’s wrong with us than owning our positive qualities. But our inventory is inclusive of our whole selves. Assessing our assets is absolutely critical to our new way of

life. We need to know what we have that we want more of, not just the negative aspects we want to rid ourselves of.

Our honest and courageous self‐assessment doesn’t end with Step Four, or with Step Ten that helps us to make this process a consistent practice. Beyond what happened during our using days, we continue to look at the patterns and behaviors that follow us into recovery. We learn to differentiate what’s really true about us now from what our head tells us.

Through this work, we develop trust in ourselves and in this new way of life. Our pasts instruct us; they do not define us, and they no longer control us.

No matter where I am in the Steps, I am committed to looking at myself as honestly and completely as possible. I have the fearlessness I need to examine the parts of myself I want to cultivate and those I strive to diminish.

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31 AUGUST

Fidelity to the NA Message

Fidelity suggests that we are true and faithful to our message, that it is consistent on all occasions.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Ten, “Spiritual Principles”

As a spiritual principle, fidelity signifies loyalty and commitment. We clarify our shared understanding of the disease of addiction and our common solution when we share the NA message with fidelity. Translators think similarly about fidelity as a concept in their work. In translations—NA or otherwise—fidelity refers to how well a translated document corresponds to the original. Although computers can substitute the words of one language with those of another, the results often make little sense. It takes the human touch and the work of skilled translators to convey the meaning, style, and tone of any piece of writing.

They do more than transcribe; they interpret.

In Narcotics Anonymous, local translations committees and their professional partners assure that translated literature is faithful to our message. That’s no easy task. Each new language group has to grapple with words and phrases like addict, clean, and the disease of addiction to figure out how to capture their meaning, essence, and spirit in the target language. NA members serving on local translations committees play an important role in ensuring fidelity. Their experience with the NA program and often impressive language skills help to ensure that translated NA literature precisely reflects the ideas and spirit of the original.

Whether translating literature, speaking at a unity day celebration, or sharing with our home group, we strive to use NA language with the same precision. A clear NA message is about more than avoiding certain words. Clarity comes from living the NA way and addressing the disease of addiction with our program of recovery. When our predecessors wrote, “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction,” they focused Step One on the disease, not the drugs. This stroke of genius makes the First Step relevant to members at any phase of recovery. When we use NA language to convey our experience with fidelity, we contribute to an atmosphere of identification for all to hear. The NA message mirrors our experience. Fidelity to it solidifies our bond with other members and our common solution.

As I share and listen, I will make an effort to faithfully connect the dots between lived experience and the proposition that “an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live.”

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31

HAPPY SEPTEMBER 1ST!

Interdependence Knows No Borders

Just as we learned in early recovery that we need each other to stay clean, we come to believe that all of us, every NA meeting and group, are interdependent.

—It Works, Tradition One

Interdependence may not be a word many of us use, but expressions of this principle in Narcotics Anonymous are very familiar. Our program is one of mutual aid, recognizing the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. As per Tradition One, our individual recovery is uplifted, enriched, secured by—and dependent upon—unity in purpose and a simple message of recovery. A worldwide network of meetings, groups, and service bodies are a part of the same whole. We need each other to stay clean and to carry our message using all the strategies we have to do so, such as H&I, helplines, public relations, creation of new literature, translations, and Fellowship development—all over the globe.

Working this spiritual principle is, in large part, coming to the understanding and acknowledging that we are already practicing interdependence—by being a member of NA and participating in our recovery. We recognize that healthy relationships inside and outside NA aren’t unidirectional. They’re reciprocal, mutually beneficial. One prime example is that sponsors help sponsees, and sponsees help sponsors. The “come to believe” in the quotation above is a result of the broadening of our experience of recovery in NA. We start to better comprehend the role of service and the interconnectedness among our local meetings and beyond—as our group’s conscience combines with others through various layers of NA services.

Interdependence knows no borders; it is the tie that binds us. It’s the ripple effect that empathy and participation have on our Fellowship. It’s the integrity of our movement to help addicts heal from the disease of addiction and to increase our connection to each other, to our surroundings, and to a life worth living.

I need others to practice interdependence, so I’ll connect with other addicts today. I’ll contribute to the recovery of others and participate in my own, recognizing that they are intricately linked.

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What a novel idea… interdependance.

All through my life I have really only known extreme independence or extreme co-dependance. I didn’t even know that interdependance was a word until I came into recovery.

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2 SEPTEMBER

Untangling Life’s Knots with the Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer is a tool we use again and again in our recovery: Considering what we can change and what we cannot becomes increasingly powerful.

—Living Clean, Chapter 2, “Connection to the World Around Us”

The simple binary offered in the Serenity Prayer—sorting between what we can and cannot change—provided quite a bit of relief to many of us as newcomers, especially when our minds were racing. Having this prayer as a new tool in our belt in early recovery enables many of us to muster a bit of courage to work on ourselves and, perhaps, achieve just enough serenity to tolerate those around us. Over time, we realize there is more depth in the Serenity Prayer than we might see at first glance.

Our wisdom to know the difference grows as we accumulate more experience with trying to change our lives. Inserting “Me!” into the Serenity Prayer—as in “the courage to change the things I can: Me!”—might remind us to stay focused on ourselves, but many of us soon encounter traits that are not so easily changed. “They told me I only have to change one thing—and that’s everything,” a member wrote. “I had these visions as a newcomer of changing my diet, getting fit, folding my laundry as soon as it dries, achieving enlightenment, and all that. It didn’t take long before I wasn’t feeling very much serenity at all. I had to adjust my expectations.”

If our lives were all knotted up when we first got here, we aren’t likely to get it all untangled right away. Talking to other addicts helps us better see what knots we can loosen now, and what parts of the thread we’ll need to accept—at least for the moment—while we work on what’s right in front of us. Sometimes a knot gets tighter, which can be a vexing part of the process. As our Basic Text mentions, “We learn that we are growing when we make new mistakes instead of repeating old ones.” As we draw on recovery experience—our own and what others share with us—our wisdom grows. Serenity and courage are likely to follow.

The wisdom to know the difference evolves as I do. When I say the Serenity Prayer, I will try to connect with the principles behind it.

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3 SEPTEMBER

Free to Be Authentically Me

We can be ourselves in the present moment without fear or apology, without the need for approval or justification.

—Living Clean, Chapter 7, “Awakenings”

As we lived through active addiction, few of us felt free to be fully ourselves. We often needed to pretend to be someone we weren’t to get what we wanted or needed, and it didn’t take long before we were confused about who we really were—if we ever had any idea in the first place. We were so accustomed to wearing masks that we didn’t know what our own faces looked like anymore.

The atmosphere of acceptance and welcome we found in NA was a breath of fresh air for those of us who couldn’t breathe freely for a long, long time. The Basic Text tells us, “The masks have to go,” and we notice that when the metaphorical masks come off, it’s so much easier to breathe. For some of us, NA might be the very first place we have been where we suspected that we might be able to show our true selves to others. We may not feel that way in every meeting or with everyone we know in NA, but little by little, we become much more comfortable showing who we really are.

The freedom to be ourselves flows directly out of the sense of security we develop by being welcomed and accepted in NA. Admitting that we are addicts was the first of many admissions; each time we show a bit more of who we truly are to our fellow members, we increase our sense of security and become free to learn even more about ourselves. We accept who we are and lose the need for approval from others. We no longer feel the need to justify our existence. The insecurity that defined so much of who we were in active addiction fades away, and we become who we were meant to be all along.

I will take off my mask and breathe more easily, knowing that others in NA will accept me for who I am.

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4 SEPTEMBER

Choosing Freedom

We are free to change our minds, to change our perspective, and to change our lives. Freedom means that we are no longer living by default.

—Living Clean, Chapter 3, “Awakening to Our Spirituality”

In active addiction, we lived in a kind of default mode. We neglected responsibilities and disregarded the consequences of our actions or inaction. We were utterly vulnerable to our defects. We self‐destructed and harmed others. A member offered this metaphor: “I was on an amusement park ride that started off fun . . . until it made me sick. But by then, I couldn’t get off of it.”

Although living by default made us miserable, even the slightest suggestion that we could change would elicit a defensive “That’s just how I am!” Trapped is how we were! Trapped by our resistance to getting off the “ride” we were on. Fearing and avoiding change, still today, we’re sometimes trapped by our willful denial and rigidity.

Outside ourselves, change is inevitable. Recovery helps us deal with this fact. Within ourselves, change is a net positive. It’s a dynamic force exercised through the freedom of choice we now have. “Freedom isn’t just a state of being,” the member continued. “We practice it by choosing to change. We’re no longer trapped on a nauseating ride. We leave the active addiction amusement park behind. Life in recovery is a whole different park!”

As we realize our true selves, we achieve some freedom in NA. Maybe it’s less that we change and more that we become who we truly are. We grow less attached to our story; we can write a new one. We can reexamine aspects of ourselves we never thought to question—our religion, political leanings, musical tastes, even the food we eat. We get to be curious. We’re free to not be so cool.

Being clean allows us to challenge our belief systems and behavior patterns, to be and to feel a little less trapped. We don’t act on impulse as often; a breath provides a moment to respond with love, not fear. At our best, we are flexible, evolving, able to be influenced by others. There’s freedom in open‐mindedness. We learn how to say no and to say yes.

Though there will be times when we fall back to default mode, we don’t have to linger there. We have a new life to live.

I will live this day consciously and with purpose. In choosing to change, I’m choosing to be myself. I’m choosing freedom.

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5 SEPTEMBER

Cooperation Despite Friction

Time and time again, in crises we have set aside our differences and worked for the common good.

—Basic Text, Chapter 6, “Tradition One”

Cooperation is fundamental to what we do in NA, starting from the moment when the message is first carried to us. “I didn’t get clean because of my own Step One,” an addict shared. “I got clean because of someone else’s Step Twelve.” Whether we first heard the message from one member, a group, or a piece of literature, carrying the message to a using addict requires cooperation. We are clean because other members cooperated with each other—and we cooperated by listening and believing that recovery was possible for us, too.

Our cooperation in NA continues well beyond that first moment of willingness to listen and receive a message of hope. As we stay clean and get to know our fellow members better, we cooperate with each other and keep the doors open for the addicts yet to come. We’re sure to see or experience friction at some point, but addicts in recovery can be surprising in our ability to come together when it really matters.

“I got clean in a small town, and there were only two addicts at my first meeting,” a member wrote. “They carried a message to me that night. I thought they were best friends. Later, I learned that they couldn’t stand each other. I never would have known it from my first night clean.”

Some differences are more extensive than just a personality clash. “Our city was divided along racial/ethnic lines,” a group wrote. “We had two areas with big overlaps, and they didn’t get along. Some members finally had enough and created an annual unity event bringing both areas together. It was sort of controversial at first, but every year it gets bigger and better. Since it started, our areas have started collaborating on H&I and public relations service, too.”

Placing principles before personalities means cooperating whether or not I get along with someone. I will do my best to set aside differences for NA unity.

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6 SEPTEMBER

Anonymity and Selfless Service

The fact that we are anonymous means that the work we do in NA really can be selfless service. We don’t want or need credit for helping others; it’s what we do to save our own lives.

—Living Clean, Chapter 6, “Anonymity”

The first thought some of us have when given the chance to help someone is What’s in it for me? We stay clean, work Steps, experience freedom—and still, our diseased thinking whispers that we ought to be rewarded for our selflessness.

“I volunteered in the merchandise room at our convention right after celebrating ten years clean,” a member shared. “I folded T‐shirts and unboxed coffee mugs for hours, wondering all along what kind of goodie I’d get for doing my part. A mug? A shirt? At the end of my shift, they said, ‘Thanks for your service!’ and gave me a hug. In a matter of moments, I went from being disappointed in them to being disappointed in myself!”

The good we do for others is not limited to our service in NA. Another member wrote, “My sponsor told me to do something for someone else and keep it a secret. On my way to a meeting, I saw someone asking for change, and I bought them a sandwich. The first thing I did when I shared at the meeting was congratulate myself for being so generous.”

Perfect selflessness may be out of reach, but we can always strive to be less self‐centered. We don’t have to disappear completely; we simply step out of the spotlight for a moment. When we feel the impulse to make a moment about ourselves, we learn to say, “Thanks for sharing,” and let the impulse go.

Feeling like we are owed for our service and comparing our generosity to that of those around us are just a couple of the ways addiction seeks to separate us from others. Service and kindness help us reconnect. We keep our focus on those we are helping. We hope that the convention‐goers who purchase a mug or a T‐shirt look back fondly on their convention experience for years to come. We hope that the hungry person felt some relief for a little while; we hope that if we see them again, they look and feel better. We think of ourselves a bit less, we think of others a bit more, and we begin to feel gratitude.

I may never be perfectly selfless, but I can try to serve as though it’s not all about me. I will make my service about others today.

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7 SEPTEMBER

Patience and the Process of Healing

Healing takes time, but it does happen. We must be patient with ourselves.

—Living Clean, Chapter 4, “Sex”

Some of us came into NA hoping for a speedy recovery, like the way we’d bounced back after that accident and got over the flu right quick. We wanted to put addiction behind us, and then we could get on with life. A mixture of hope and denial convinced us that detoxing would fix us. Our experience told a different story. We’d been able to stop using on occasion, but we could never seem to stay stopped. At some point, we realized we needed more than a spin‐dry, and we rallied the patience to persevere on a just‐for‐today basis.

We face our lives and ourselves in everyday living, as the Basic Text suggests. We strive for progress while taking care not to expect perfection. Sticking with it calls on us to be patient with the process and ourselves. Recovery is ongoing for folks like us, not something we can look at in the rearview mirror. We consider ourselves recovering, not recovered, addicts.

Practicing patience requires us to be more gentle with ourselves. We attempt to nurture kind and encouraging thoughts, shutting down the harsh self‐talk that says, “I should be better than this by now.” When we measure our progress against some unrealistic benchmark, or worse, compare our insides to others’ outsides, it’s no wonder we come up short. We focus on finding satisfaction with the pace of our progress. Patience serves as a bridge to some much‐needed hope, faith, and humility as we learn to trust the process.

We’ll need all of these spiritual principles and more as we navigate the minefields of our past with the Twelve Steps and a sponsor’s guidance. Trauma and abuse cast a long shadow on many of our lives; we learn to be patient with ourselves as an expression of love. We come to understand our past without allowing it to define us. All of this takes time—time that’s available to us because we’re learning to practice patience.

I invite patience to help me find satisfaction with my progress and access the resources I need for continued recovery and healing.

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8 SEPTEMBER

Gratitude Transforms Us

Gratitude in action is an engine for change: As we carry the message, our own lives transform.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Five, Opening Reflection

We tell the newcomer, “Welcome home,” as we give them our number, an IP, and a meeting list. “Call me anytime. Hang in there—it gets better.” This simple act of gratitude carries a powerful message, just as Tradition Five and Step Twelve intend. Simple words and actions like these take place in meetings every day. Though our intention may be to help the new or potential member, we end up helping ourselves, too. We’re reminded of where we came from, and our gratitude engine gets tuned up.

In NA, all of our service efforts focus—directly or indirectly—on our primary purpose. Groups are the main vehicle for carrying the message, and it takes trusted servants to make them run smoothly. Likewise, events carry a message and require a lot of work behind the scenes. We serve to ensure that the addict who reaches out for help by phone or online finds the information they need to get to their first meeting. All of this and more happens within a bigger context for NA service that goes largely unnoticed. Our fellow members are hard at work translating literature, telling the world that we’re here to help, and demonstrating that NA is a reliable program of recovery.

We tell the newcomer that change is possible and barely notice how our lives transform as we carry that message. It’s a happy by‐product, a pleasant surprise, an unintended consequence. Call it what you will, there is no doubt that our lives change, just as we do. Each Step has an impact on who we are and how we see ourselves. We connect with a Higher Power, with ourselves, and with other people.

By the time we get to Step Twelve, we’re not the same people, and all of that change has made us increasingly able to serve. Our newfound approach to life reflects this transformation. We are there for each other in moments of crisis and celebration. It’s who we are and what we do. We take this “How can I help?” mindset into the community, and it changes the way we interact with the world.

I will look for opportunities to give of myself today and take time to appreciate my transformation.

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9 SEPTEMBER

Humility Is Living in Reality

Humility is most easily identified as an acceptance of who we truly are— neither worse nor better than we believed we were when we were using, just human.

—NA Step Working Guides, Step One, “Spiritual Principles”

In early recovery, we often find ourselves going from unrealistic, grandiose self‐perception to believing we are the worst person in history. It’s that familiar addict pendulum swing— from one extreme to the other (with an optional sound effect):

I’m a spiritual giant deserving of high praise—WHOOSH!—I’m a worthless piece of trash. I’m the hottest person here—WHOOSH!—I’m repulsive and don’t deserve to live.

I’m the only parent who knows what they’re doing—WHOOSH!—I’m going to screw up my kid worse than my parents screwed me up.

Torchbearer of overblown self‐importance—WHOOSH!—barren self‐pity farm. Hero—WHOOSH!—zero.

Getting clean and working the Twelve Steps of NA can slow our addict pendulum and greatly narrow the distance of its swing. The humility that ensues from working Steps will help us to find that serene sweet spot somewhere in the middle. This place is where our true selves reside. Here lives reality.

Humility is like kryptonite to our self‐indulgence, jealousy, and entitlement. It allows us to accept the beautiful muddle of our humanity, the truth of our perfectly imperfect selves, and our authentic place in the world. We can have reasonable expectations of ourselves and let others be who they are without our interference. We can find humor in our shortcomings and try to do better when criticized, instead of wanting to annihilate ourselves when we make a mistake.

Perhaps most crucially, we don’t boast about our spiritual growth, especially in comparison to other members, nor do we overindulge in denigrating who we “used to be” when we were using. We were human then, and we’re human now.

I will try to be mindful of where my pendulum is swinging today. Though I can accept where I am, I’ll still try to move toward the center because that’s what’s real.

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10 SEPTEMBER

Surrendering to a New Way of Life

Admitting our powerlessness is a surrender, an admission that we don’t know the solution to our problems.

—IP #17, For Those in Treatment, “Recovery in Narcotics Anonymous”

Admitting powerlessness over our addiction is often the first time we surrender to anything. Never mind the fact that we used to surrender to the drugs every day! Many of us had tried to clean up on our own, without success. We couldn’t control our using, so what makes us think we can control our recovery?

We experience one of the greatest paradoxes in NA when we let go of our attempts to control the recovery process and find peace and freedom as a result. One member shared, “Surrender is like learning how to float in water, instead of thrashing about. It’s a process of letting go.”

We can surrender quietly to this new way of life and allow the experience of other addicts to guide our next steps. There is a sense of relief that accompanies surrender, a peace in powerlessness. Giving up our illusions of self‐control frees us to become better versions of ourselves.

And, in NA, we don’t have to walk this journey alone. We ask for help when we need it. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing we do, but it gets easier with practice. We learn to surrender our old ideas, listen to suggestions, consult a Higher Power, and make up our minds about what course of action we need to take. We do the footwork, let go of the outcome, and move on—confident that surrender will help us accept whatever unfolds.

I will practice admitting my powerlessness in any situation and free myself to see new solutions. I will surrender the things I can’t control.

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11 SEPTEMBER

Self-Support Takes Faith

Belief in self-support is a massive leap of faith. We commit to the idea that we will be enough.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Seven, Opening Reflection

For many of us, a belief in our own inadequacy was a constant undercurrent in our lives before NA. We did our best to keep it hidden by putting on a brave front. Behind our masks, thoughts that we were not enough still plagued us. This idea that we lacked sufficient ability, power, or means follows a lot of us into recovery. Although we’d stopped using, we still felt incapable of dealing with life.

We can start to rebuild our self‐image by embracing a practical application of humility; we commit to seeing ourselves as part of humanity, no better or worse than the rest of it. With time and effort put into stepwork, we get a more accurate picture of who we are. We warm up to the idea that we will have and will do enough, and even that we are enough.

When self‐support seems like too big of a stretch, we entrust our support system to help us make that leap. We pay attention to the experience of our fellows and emulate their commitment to self‐determination. We lean into acceptance and faith as we figure out what the next right thing might look like. Our collective experience tells us that action is the key to moving an idea from our heads to our hearts. So, what actions align with self‐ support?

When we are present, plugged in, and ready, we can step through doors as they open, find the right words to match the situation, and otherwise take leaps of faith we weren’t sure we had in us. One member’s experience speaks to such a moment: “My mom was paying my rent for my first year clean, but she would also always come around and tell me I wasn’t keeping the place clean enough or that I needed to do something different with my hair.

The idea of saying ‘no’ to her support was scary; the freedom that came with it was a big step toward believing in myself . . . maybe for the first time in my life.”

How can I stretch toward self‐support today? What conversations might inspire me to take that leap of faith or prepare me for opportunities on my horizon?

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