Hello, all! Wanted to make an introduction after lurking (again). Here is a little bit about me and where I’m at with drinking:
For all intents and purposes, i am a fairly well functioning alcoholic (except those days when i need to hide from the world to get over a hangover bout, of course).
Great job (even got a promotion and raise this year), wonderful support system, both family and friends, loving & loyal partner (it’s not without its stresses of course, but that’s the nature of relationships in general), decent health (albeit some weight gain that I’ve been blaming on the pandemic for about 3 years now, haha).
But, this is my second time on this app, lurking and reading; I’ve listened to quit lit & podcasts off and on for a few years; I’ve made prior declarations to loved ones that i needed to stop; and now, turning 45 in a few months and accepting that i can’t control my drinking after i have that first glass, and that the emotional lows that come with overconsumption and the following day’s “hangxiety” and emotional instability, not to mention the way my brain sometimes flips during a drinking session into mean, or overly emotional, and i accept, again, that I’m not built the same way others who can have one or two drinks and then move along with their day are. It has to be a full-stop quit for me if I’m to see the benefits of being a non-drinker.
And of course, this doesn’t even take into account the future of my health, both physically and financially. The stability of my future is bound to how i take care of myself today – and if i keep continuing the way i have for the last 30 years, i don’t see how things could really end up okay, as time moves forward.
That all being said: it’s been 8 days since my last drink, but at least 10 years of thinking, “i need to make a change.” Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee, but at least for today i know i won’t drink. I do suspect that tomorrow will be alright too, though.