18 months y’all! A year and a half! How the hell did this happen? I know I’ve put in the work, I’ve walked the crazy walk, I’ve talked the talk, but seriously! A year and a half??!!
Milestones have always been incredibly hard for me. Shouldn’t I be better by now? Shouldn’t my brain be better? Shouldn’t I have lost a bunch of weight? Shouldn’t life and the world be more clear? You know what? Life IS better! Things ARE clearer!
I don’t know what had changed in me that this milestone is a huge relief and joy. Maybe it’s accepting that life is still life. Maybe it’s really understanding that a lot of people with long term sobriety look at those first few years as a whirlwind of change and growth and emotion. People who have many years clean still think of this as early(ish) recovery. And you know what? I feel that now. I’m cool with it. Change is always on the horizon and I’m finally excited to see what comes. I’m not scared anymore. I don’t have time or energy for fear. At least not this drowning fear of life and failure. Will that fear make cameos? Oh hell yea! But I got the power to just shake my head at it, humbly, and move on.
Who the hell is this positive person? Where did this strength and resolve come from? From me! It was in there all along. Now that it’s been able to breath for a while, now that it’s stopped drowning, this person is finally alive and well. But don’t worry, the crazy, weird girl is still here too.
If you are reading this and wondering if sobriety is for you, please read the “hell yes” in these words. It’s a struggle, it’s a fight, it’s a damn war, but I’ll be damned if winning isn’t worth it!
This is making my heart happy on a rough day. Thank you for that❤️ and thank you for your wise words! So very grateful to share in this sober journey with you.
All my love,
Ely ️
You are the most incredible woman. I just adore you. I am so happy that you are able to enjoy this day for all the joy it brings. I love you, my sister!
Us Megan’s have to stick together! I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little intimidating when someone says they liked to read your stuff. Don’t know why. But I’m flattered! Thank you so much girl!
The biggest present I got this month was you returning my friend! I’m so glad to have you back! Especially because you are always hyping me up for all to see!
Thank you all for your love and support! It’s with all of you that I’ve been walking this journey and I couldn’t ask for better people to do it with! I humbly bow to you, your courage and strength keep me going. You have all been here for me.
When we had that synagogue shooting here I almost lost my shit. I’ve worked in this community for a long time, I knew many of the victims, and I know a lot of people who were personally affected. Through them I was personally affected. My city came together with love and courage. That helped. But that couldn’t address the parts of me that felt like staying sober might not be worth it if I would be gone at any minute. That’s what y’all did. I didn’t talk too much about it, but I sought the wisdom and courage and will that I see here everyday. You may not have known at the time that I needed that help, but you all were here to provide it! So i thank every one of you for being here.
Keep fighting the good fight people! It’s worth it! Lean on us in your hard times and lean on us in your strong times!
Damn you Ms ! Its weird now at coffee break , me looking like someone took all my candy …
And kinda I need to keep up the appearances of mentally unstable ,hard working tough sup. Hahahaha quite easy while reading this hahaahahahahahahahhaahahhahaha bloody hell Ms thanks !
and thank you for sharing this!
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to me. Working on it, one day at a time 
